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PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 09:45 AM

She broke up and said she needs some time to herself to think what went wrong and why she kept wanting to pack her bags at every argument we had... She asked if she could keep calling me and I said no, I told her to call me when she wants to get back together. She also askedme to email her a picture of us we took on my birthday... Should I email her the picture and ask how she is doing or just do no contact?

Wondergirl · Oct 23, 2010, 09:50 AM

No Contact.

JoeCanada76 · Oct 23, 2010, 09:55 AM

No.

mmresd · Oct 23, 2010, 09:56 AM

If she needs like she feels space then respect her decision and give her her space. Don't let her play you with this push and pull game that she is exhibiting on you and don't contact her until she is ready to try again because if you do you might push her away from you further.

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 12:29 PM

Why do I feel like if I do no contact, we will both lose interest in each other and feelings will fade away and chances we will get back together with be very slim...

mmresd · Oct 23, 2010, 12:31 PM

Because there is at least a 50% chance that that will happen... so be ready just in case. It's her call whether to get back with you, but it's a decision only she can make.

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 12:36 PM

What's funny is that my mother was good friends with her and she is telling me that I should send her an e-mail saying I am sorry and feel bad about what happened and tell her that I love her and send her the picture she asked for...

pandead · Oct 23, 2010, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

what's funny is that my mother was good friends with her and she is telling me that i should send her an e-mail saying i am sorry and feel bad about what happened and tell her that i love her and send her the picture she asked for...

NO. No no no no no.
Don't do it. It's not a bad thing that your mutual interest fades away... since you two BROKE UP. Go NC and stick to it!

Devorameira · Oct 23, 2010, 02:18 PM

Don't contact her at all. You already told her not to contact you unless she wants to get back together, so stick with your guns and ignore any communication she shoots your way. Stand tall and don't be a wimp!

talaniman · Oct 23, 2010, 02:22 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ct-333721.html

Your call, but you have asked this question before, so why do you think this is any different from any other break up? If your not ready to let go, that's understandable. But this is what you said,

why she kept wanting to pack her bags at every argument we had...

Has that been resolved, if not leave her alone. Then you told her.

She asked if she could keep calling me and I said no, I told her to call me when she wants to get back together

Has she done that? If not leave her alone.

She also asked me to email her a picture of us we took on my birthday... Should I email her the picture and ask how she is doing or just do no contact?

Email the picture, and stay with NC. Stick to what you said. That simple.

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Why do I feel like if I do no contact, we will both lose interest in each other and feelings will fade away and chances we will get back together with be very slim...

So what, if it fades and not make the heart grow fonder, you had nothing to begin with.

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

what's funny is that my mother was good friends with her and she is telling me that I should send her an e-mail saying I am sorry and feel bad about what happened and tell her that I love her and send her the picture she asked for...

Your mom may like her but does she know everything you know about her, or feel? Who is responsible for your happiness and love life? YOU, or MOM?

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 02:27 PM

Is it bad to say that I love her and miss her in the email with picture?

Wondergirl · Oct 23, 2010, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

what's funny is that my mother was good friends with her and she is telling me that i should send her an e-mail saying i am sorry and feel bad about what happened and tell her that i love her and send her the picture she asked for...

Why should YOU be sorry? SHE broke up with you!

Don't send the photo. She has given up her right to have it.

Wondergirl · Oct 23, 2010, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

is it bad to say that i love her and miss her in the email with picture?

So then she can laugh at you and tell your mother what a pushover you are?

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by pandead

NO. No no no no no.
Don't do it. It's not a bad thing that your mutual interest fades away... since you two BROKE UP. Go NC and stick to it!

The thing is, that I am not sure if it is a break or a break up, she said she loves me and she would like to come back strong without getting urges to pack her bags and leave when we argue.

She said we had a communication problem, chemistry was strong, but sometimes communication needed to be improved.

Wondergirl · Oct 23, 2010, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

The thing is, that i am not sure if it is a break or a break up, she said she loves me and she would like to come back strong without getting urges to pack her bags and leave when we argue.

She said we had a communication problem, chemistry was strong, but sometimes communication needed to be improved.

All the more reason to do No Contact, to see how strong the chemistry really is.

Meanwhile, think about and work on what you did wrong in communication with her. Why did you argue? Did she argue back or cry? Perhaps you would like to start a new thread to ask us how to argue/discuss with a lover but in the right way.

If your mother is friends with her, tell your mother you are going to work on your anger problem and learn how to argue, but do NOT mention your girlfriend's name. Your mother will figure it out and will undoubtedly tell her. That will be the best way to handle this. It will make both of them very curious and interested in what you do next.

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

All the more reason to do No Contact, to see how strong the chemistry really is.

Meanwhile, think about and work on what you did wrong in communication with her. Why did you argue? Did she argue back or cry? Perhaps you would like to start a new thread to ask us how to argue/discuss with a lover but in the right way.

Good idea, how to discuss without bailing out and finding solutions or compromises.

Wondergirl · Oct 23, 2010, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

Good idea, how to discuss without bailing out and finding solutions or compromises.

Start a new thread now. (This is exciting!)

pandead · Oct 23, 2010, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

is it bad to say that i love her and miss her in the email with picture?

Hope you're kidding.

I read your old thread too... I know it won't mean anything even if 40 of us tell you not to do it, until you get heartbroken over and over again and end up saying "enough is enough."
NC should be your only solution right now but if what happened until now is NOT enough for you, I don't know if there's any advice that could make you change your mind.

EDIT : Sorry I don't agree with the whole "bad communication" thing. I don't think it's how a couple should handle bad communication.

talaniman · Oct 23, 2010, 03:09 PM

Amazing how much more info we get when we tell someone to go NC!!
Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

The thing is, that I am not sure if it is a break or a break up, she said she loves me and she would like to come back strong without getting urges to pack her bags and leave when we argue.

Then go cool off not break up. What the heck! Cooler heads communicate better than hot ones. We all leave when we argue, or want to, geez we are mad sometimes but the way a couple agrees to fight is what defines them.

She said we had a communication problem, chemistry was strong, but sometimes communication needed to be improved.

That's something you work on over time, without the impulsive talk, and actions. Please don't start another thread, just as your questions here.

This is more an over reaction thing I suspect, and if you communicate with her like you do us, you have a lot to learn about honesty.

PirandelloLuigi · Oct 23, 2010, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

All the more reason to do No Contact, to see how strong the chemistry really is.

Meanwhile, think about and work on what you did wrong in communication with her. Why did you argue? Did she argue back or cry? Perhaps you would like to start a new thread to ask us how to argue/discuss with a lover but in the right way.

If your mother is friends with her, tell your mother you are going to work on your anger problem and learn how to argue, but do NOT mention your girlfriend's name. Your mother will figure it out and will undoubtedly tell her. That will be the best way to handle this. It will make both of them very curious and interested in what you do next.

Yeah your right, because when we argued I told her that maybe it was best she go back to her moms place because I was tired of her wanting to bail out and pack her things. So I pushed it too far by saying this, my anger was too much. She felt like I was kicking her out and I hurt her feelings.