[princess31]

I am in the same boat as you. My boyfriend does not want to have sex with me either. He likes oral and I cannot stand to give oral to any guy. What do I do? I do not expect oral from him and do not ever ask for it. If I ask for it all the time or make inuendoes then he says Im nagging him about it. Do you think he is cheating on me? If so should I stay with him because we have a 5yr old daughter together or get on with my life? Should I ask him if he is cheating on me? He cannot go no more than a week in a half without sex. He has said that before when we were done with sex. He would be like Wow that was a lot, it builds up after a while and you got to get rid of it. Does anyone have advice for me?

[Cat1864]

princess, I have moved your post to its own thread so that you can get advice based on your own needs.

Before you start accusing him of being unfaithful, take a step back and look at what is going on not only in your relationship but at what is affecting it. Things such as stresses from work, friends, family, raising a child, finances, etc. can affect libidos. How old is he and does he have any medical issues or is he on any medications including alcohol and/or 'recreational' drugs? Do you make time to be a couple?

Have you sat down and discussed the relationship with him and your concerns about not having sex? If not, then you need to talk with him. Find a time when nothing else is going on and the child is asleep or out of the house for a couple of hours. Be honest with each other about your needs and desires, but DO NOT place blame or accuse each other. DO NOT put words in the other person's mouth. If you are sure what is meant by something, ask for clarification. If possible, make compromises that work for both of you.

[princess31]

Yes there are financial situation going on right now. I have a couple of months until I have to repay my loans back to the bank and he is stressed about that. He works all the freakin time almost 7 days a week with his 1 full time job and a motorcycle training instructor job on weekends in the summer and sometimes in the winter. Plus he works for a friend every once in a while fixing weight equipment. He spends more time with his two girls then he does me. We go to movies sometimes together but woopi-do. He is cheap and won't spend money on nothing unless it beneifts him or his motorcycle. I do not know what to do or think anymore. He tells me he loves me, I don't know, its hard to believe that he loves me a fat blob whose 27 lbs overweight. I have no self-esteem or anything. He never pays any compliments to me ever. I am frustated and fed up. Oct 9th will be exactly a month since we had sex. I am ready to find sex somewhere else if I don't get any from him in the next week.

[Cat1864]

He tells me he loves me, i dont know, its hard to believe that he loves me a fat blob whose 27 lbs overweight. I have no self-esteem or anything. He never pays any compliments to me ever. I am frustated and fed up. Oct 9th will be exactly a month since we had sex. I am ready to find sex somewhere else if I dont get any from him in the next week.

First, cheating is not an option. Either you are in the relationship for good and/or hard times, or you aren't.

Have you sat down and talked with him about your concerns?

[CravenMorhead]

What Cat1864 said.

Well there's your problem. Your boyfriend is exhausted when you want to have sex with him. With what he is doing, I can't blame him. It sounds like HE is working so much time to save money to pay off YOUR loans. He is working seven days a week and he is worried about money. He is trying to keep the household together.

Another think I tweaked on. You're 27lbs over weight and you think you're fat? You're a blob? Get a fricken hold of yourself woman! You're not fat. You might be over your recommended weight but, unless you're four foot nothing, that isn't going to make you a roly poly woman. You just got a little extra padding and I can guarantee you that your boyfriend doesn't mind. Not in the least.

As for him masturbating. It is what guys do. When they feel horny and need a release. It doesn't reflect negatively on your. Chances are he just needs a quick five minute release. Being a guy, there have been a number of occasions when I masturbated in a relationship.

So what do you need to do?
1). Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him your concerns. See if there is an alternative time/place you can have sex.
2). Figure out your financial concerns. Make a budget and stick to it. Make sure you can live and make sure you have fun too. This will take away the financial concerns.
3). Almost related to number two. Get him to clear out one or two of his days to get him to make you a priority again.
4). Repeat after me, "I am a beautiful woman." Say that to the mirror until you believe it. As your boyfriend if he thinks your pretty. Ask random people on the street. They'll all have the same answer. Yes.

It sounds like you don't have a lot of money, but marriage counselling sounds like a good thing. You two have been disconnected by life. You need to find a way to reconnect. Hopefully you can.

[princess31]

As for my student loans, I pay them and all my bills on my own. He pays his bills that has his name on it and I pay all my bills that have my name on them. We have separate checking accounts and we have our own separate money.