[answerme_tender]

You already have guessed why he still trying to have contact. You are his ego boost, he still wants a relationship, but not one that you would agree too!! He knows you won't, but he still gets to have a eto stroke every time he gets a reaction from you, thinking of how you are still missing him and how much you still love him, etc. Unfortuantely ego strokes are one-sided, the otherside of this equation only gets to live the hurtful feelings that are left behind!!

Keep doing what you have been=NC. Don't let him get his ego stroke from you! Remember your feelings are the only thing that matters now! Good luck

[talaniman]

I think your healing will go much better if you blocked his emails, and that would stop you wondering why he is doing what he does. That would also stop the cycle of re feeling that confusing question only he can answer, every time he emails.

Lets be real, WHY are you not ready to take that important step to healing by BLOCKING his emails????????

[Homegirl 50]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.



I agree with talaniman on all counts and you need to ask yourself why you are ready to block his emails.
I would venture to say as answerme_tender has said, like him you are getting an ego boost having him beg for a response from you.
You need to stop. Block him and be done with it. Or if it will make you feel better, tell him you are fine and then block him.
You both are playing games with each other and it is not attractive or cool.

[redhed35]

Time to rip of that band aid,this slowly peeling it off is not helping you heal.

Just catch the corner and rip it off and bin it,once you do it,hopefully you will have a sense of release.

OK,so its hard to finally commit to healing and getting him out of your life,but don't forget in all this he's MARRIED,I know you know that, just it deserves saying again.. he is married jheep, and he is never going to be yours,he lied to you, and what he did was cruel.

You don't have to understand your motives for not blocking him all you need to understand is to take the next step in healing you need to block him,before those emails infect the healing you have all ready done.

[Cat1864]

jheep, be honest with yourself about why you aren't blocking him and why you are reading the emails. Is there a bit of a boost that he still thinks of you and wants you? Is it the ghost of a relationship that you are still trying to hold on to? A bandage to protect a wounded heart? Are you afraid of the pain or finality that blocking him will bring?

Why don't you give yourself a present and block him? I don't think it will hurt as much now as you may fear. It is time to remove the bandage and see just how much you have healed.

Good luck.

[jheep]

Oh, I've blocked and deleted him in all my accounts - skype, YM, Facebook, etc. I've also stopped looking him up in the social networks and the internet.

But he's still able to send me emails, which I ignore. No way will he ever get a reaction. He can get his ego boost somewhere else. And yes, I feel good sometimes when he does email, but it's nothing special anymore. It's the same as being told by a random guy that I'm beautiful. A cheap thrill, but nothing more.

Sometimes it just scratches some feelings and thoughts in me like yesterday. But the feelings and thoughts are not as powerful as before anymore. I have to admit that my last questions were foolishly romantic and very stupid. Yes, he's married and that's a fact. It's "not attractive or cool" as Homegirl 50 said. I don't want to play games. Thanks for making it clear to me.

I've been through hell with this experience. I'm fully committed to heal and make myself and my life better. If that includes blocking his emails, then so be it.

[Cat1864]

I have to admit that my last questions were foolishly romantic and very stupid.

No, they aren't very stupid. What would have been stupid is allowing those questions to grow and take on a life of their own. Instead, you came here to let them out and get a dose of reality. Definitely not stupid.

I am glad you have taken the steps of deleting contact.

May you continue to heal and get your life back on track. :)

[jheep]

Thanks! You're very kind.