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kpg0001 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:33 AM

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years. She is very high strung and very emotional. At the beginning of our relationship she wasn't so hard on me but now I feel like she is constantly nagging at me about the stupidest things(you wouldn't believe some of the stuff she will "nag" about). From what I'm wearing to what time I feel like going to bed etc. etc. etc. It is getting old. I have even tried talking to her and taking a break to just let things "chill out", but this has been to no avail(she came crying to my apartment at 3am). I used to just "roll with the punches" and take it all lightly because I am pretty laid back but for the last almost year now I have been getting increasingly irritated and spiteful towards her. Also she is so entwined in my life that breaking up would changes so much that I guess I am having a hard time getting the(excuse my language) "balls" to end it. My parents absolutely love her and when I talk to them they think its me that is an(again language) *******. We are both 20 years old and for both of us this is the first "grown up" type relationship we've been in if that helps. I need advice!

Sincerely,
A Drowning Young Man

Just Looking · Sep 13, 2010, 11:57 AM

If you aren't happy, you either fix the problem or move on. Your parents may love her, but it's your life. You have to make the decisions that will make you happy. You are only 20 and this is your first real relationship. You don't have to settle for this. Your parents will support you in the end. Don't use them as an excuse; do what you feel is right.

I doubt you are so entwined that you can't make a break. You aren't married; there are no kids involved; you don't own a business or house together. You have mutual friends, I am sure, but that's not a reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. This break will only become harder the longer you put it off. My guess is your energy is being sapped. Just imagine what you could do if you were free.

flow87 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:59 AM

Try talking to her, try and make her see what she is doing to you with this constant nagging, tell her if she doesn't stop the relationship will end. If you don't love her any more and don't want to continue with the relationship, then you have to have the guts to end it. It is your life and you shouldn't be with someone just because your parents love her. If you can't continue to be with her you have to end it before it drags out even more and is even harder.

redhed35 · Sep 13, 2010, 12:02 PM

When you find yourself using words like 'cant escape' its time to go.

Pick up your courage,tell her its over tell her why and then leave.

Go no contact,none what so ever,stick to your guns and just let your family know you just didn't love her and you were so unhappy,I'm betting they will be fine about it.

She WILL be fine,it might take her a little longer and she will be upset,but imagine how you will feel in 5 years if your still in the same relationship,how about 10 years?.

0rphan · Sep 13, 2010, 02:00 PM

Hi... having read your post I see no mention of... I LOVE HER... which is unusual. You do state that your parents love her, but that's not you, most posts say... my girlfriend is driving me mad, I put up with it because I love her...

The fact that this is your first real relationship, makes me question whether this was love in the beginning or simply infatuation, what ever you wish to call something new and exciting, unfortunately like any new experience, eventually the magic starts to wear thin, unless that magical feeling you had when you first met is kept alive.

It seems to me that the magic of this relationship has been replaced by attention seeking and nagging.Could it be that you no longer do things together or maybe don't give compliments anymore or perhaps it's simply that you've both become too complacent !

The first question you must ask yourself is... do I love her and do I want this relationship to work?.
If yes, then your girlfriend, I think, needs to speak to a doctor, I think she is very stressed at the moment and perhaps could do with a little help, she does seem very down right now, which is why I think she is being a bit of a nag, which in tern is then having a knock on affect on yourself.

However, if you decide no, then it won't be easy,in fact you may even decide to opt out with a letter, the choice is yours,be sure you give it plenty of thought and that you have been totally honest with yourself...

If you stay together be sure it's for the right reason, if you part it will be because the right reason isn't there.

lamp_post · Sep 13, 2010, 08:37 PM

To be fair for her, a grown up relationship should be truthful. If you don't love her then end it while is still not hurting that much. Otherwise, it will drag and both gets hurt.

lamp_post · Sep 13, 2010, 08:43 PM

To be honest, a grown up relationship you should face is to tell her is over. To be fair for her as well. Otherwise, it will hurt more.