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gledyn9 · Aug 29, 2010, 06:17 PM

Sorry this is basically my life story:

Me and my boyfriend haven't been together all that long, about 7 months, but we always worked really well together, and we hardly ever argued. We had a fall out in June at my flat and he then decided to end the relationship. He was very kind and stayed with me the whole night as I basically cried my eyes out, that night he text me once he was home saying he made a mistake and came over to my house the next day and we spoke. Going out to see friends that night he kept referring to me as his girlfriend so I assumed we were back together.

Then until 3 weeks ago every thing has been fine. He just started a new job a month ago and I respected the fact I wouldn't get to see him as much as I did. Out of the blue he started ignoring my calls and texts then text me saying he needed time to himself, that he still loved me and that I was really special to him. So I gave him space, a few nights later I was unfortunately hit by a car and once he found out we spoke for a while and he was nice and caring making sure I was okay (I was fine)

Then there was a rumour going about that he was "shaggin his ex bird" a week later and I stupidly assumed it to be true, and deleted his number thinking I wouldn't speak to him. But after he called about 5 days after that, we had an argument because I believed it to be true and he tried to convince me it wasn't, although he had confessed he had seen her a few times as a friend (which I later found out he had lied to me, blowing off plans with me and seeing her instead and lying to me about who he was with and where etc) But me and her have never gotten along (as you usually wouldn't with your boyfriend's ex) so I guess he could have been trying to protect my feelings? I don't know. But she would brag on about how they were back together. (Although since me and him argued about it she has stopped)

Basically since then I got angry and told him that we were drifting apart since he decided he needed time, but he said he really appreciated that I was giving him time and it meant a lot to him, calling me "sweetie" etc and telling me he had been texting me, I must not have got them, and he has mentioned calling me for a proper catch up or grabbing coffee/dinner etc but they never happen.

So basically I can't tell if he is being sincere or not? Is he actually going to get back together with me? Will we ever see each other again?

I understand he needs to adjust to his new job since it is crazy hours and if he doesn't work weekends he has paperwork to do etc. I really do love him, I think he is brilliant but I just can't decide whether to give up and move on or stick it out a bit longer, sometimes I feel like I am over reacting but it does really hurt what's going on. What should I do? Any advice would be brilliant thanks.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 29, 2010, 06:28 PM

Sounds to me like he's having a good time with someone else and stringing you along.
Why else would he need space.
Give him his space and you go on with your life. I would not sit around waiting for him to decide if he wants to give you some time.

silverlining · Aug 29, 2010, 09:06 PM

Think about it.. You wouldn't be having these feelings if he was genuine.. Don't ever doubt yourself. Women have amazing intuition when it comes to these sorts of things.

You know the answer already or you wouldn't need to ask the question. But if you want my opinion he is lying. There are rumours that he's sleeping with his ex? And she's braggin about it? Rumours can do but rarely start from nowhere..

lickemlolly · Aug 30, 2010, 11:02 AM

I will put it to you like this... you gut feeling is usually always right.. no matter how much you try to justify otherwise or ignore it... I can get it down to a science now when I get them... more often then not that little nagging voice in your head is warning you... and you need to listen because it is probably true.. so my advice is that if you have that little voice in your head you listen to it and realize something is up... it does sound like he is stringing you along... more like putting you on the back burner to whenever he is done having his fun..

redrumx3 · Aug 30, 2010, 11:13 AM

Doesn't sound like he's being sincere at all. You were only with him for 7 months, which meant you saw the side of him he wanted you to see. You know, the "I'm such a nice guy" side.

If he broke up with you over your first big argument, he obviously wasn't dependable to begin with. It seems like he was going to end it before the argument but found that opportunity. I don't know about you, but if he was really that upset about the argument to the point where he felt he needed to end the relationship, there would be no reason for him to stay and comfort you. I feel that was the first sign that he was planning on stringing you along.

You heard he was seeing his ex, he denied it then admitted just enough to you. He wants you both, and you're falling right into it. My advice is that you drop this guy and find a better one who will make you his priority, not an option.

To add to this, I would like to say that no matter how busy he is, if he wants to talk to you he will. Put yourself in his shoes, if you were busy, but you truly cared for someone, wouldn't you take the time out of your day to talk to them or see them?

talaniman · Aug 31, 2010, 08:16 AM

I wouldn't trust him because a guy that cares makes time no matter what.

slapshot_oi · Aug 31, 2010, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by gledyn9

I understand he needs to adjust to his new job since it is crazy hours and if he doesn't work weekends he has paperwork to do etc. . . What should i do? Any advice would be brilliant thanks.

Eh.. . If he really cared he'd make time for you, his job is just a convenient and believable excuse.

Go NC and move on.