[shaneka]

I'm 18 since I lost my unborn baby I been going crazy. My baby father left me he says he don't want to be with me nomore. Since I lost my baby I felt like he was the only thing that I had left. I cry everyday because I lost my baby an my babyfather, I feel like I shouldn't be alive without them too. My mom don't make it better I'm so stressed out all the time an I think I'm getting depressed now everyday I be going off on people an now I mostly keep to myself because I'm hurting everyday because of all this I just want to give up. I drink all my problems away all the time.

[Wondergirl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your baby! Do you have any friends who will support you emotionally for these two losses? Have you looked for a grief counseling group or counselor?

[shaneka]

Thank you. I do but they tell me not to worry about it and it's gone get better I tell them I think I need help but they say its just something everybody goes through,but its on my mind all the time so I think about it, and no I haven't looked at any counseling groups or counselors my mother tell me its nothing wrong with me.

[Wondergirl]

Well, you do have to get some help. I had two babies and I can't imagine having lost one of them before or even after it was born. In fact, parents hope their children outlive them, so it's terrible when a child dies in a traffic accident or from disease or in Afghanistan as a soldier.

How old are you? Are you in school? Have you looked around to find out if there's a counselor near you?

[Jake2008]

I agree that you need help.

Any major loss is significant in anybody's life. Particularly a baby. Your losses just keep adding up. The baby, your boyfriend, the future, hopes and dreams. All of it has suddenly stopped, and you are grieving far more than anybody understands right now, and it is so important that you realize what you are going through, and how you can help yourself cope.

If you type in 'grieving' in any search engine, I just did with Google, and there were over 25 million hits. Please browse through and see if you cannot find something to get you started on understanding why you are feeling the way you are, and why it is so difficult for others to offer effective support.

Please also consider visiting your Doctor, and ask him directly for resources available to you, or resources he can refer you to, for counselling. This is particularly important now, because not only are you struggling, but, you have nobody to help you understand and process the overwhelming feelings you are coping with, on your own.

Please don't let this linger. The sooner you get started, the better you will feel.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am so sorry for your loss, how old are you, since you keep talking about what you mom says.

But you, as anyone does at a time of loss, may need to go to counseling or at least a group that deals with grief.

[YeloDasy]

You need a lot of support right now. I agree that you need to talk to someone who can help, and preferably a prefessional such as a counselor or support group. Your doctor or hospital can suggest grief groups in your area. And any counselor can help with grief. If you are still in HS, talk to a staff member, counselor. If you are in college, there are free services.
Im sorry that your friends are telling you to basically "get over it." Not everyone goes through this much loss at once... and they need to give you more support. Is there a way you can tell them how much more emotional support you need?
Search for what you need... ask friends or family to go with you if it is scary! It is hard to reach out sometimes.THings will get better and you will be stronger for this. You may be a great help and support for others as well. You are not alone and need support!!

[shaneka]

Thank you all for you thoughts and I'm 18 I graduated high school an year earlier when I was 17 and I'm going to college in January. I go to da doctor this week so I will ask him about counsling groups.and thank you again for helping me

[answerme_tender]

I have lost a unborn baby and know it is very hard. You have no where to go and mourn this child. But every year on the 28th June, I remember this child and the loss. You will survive this but you need to have some help. As for the dumb a** boyfriend be thankful you don't have to lug him around anymore!! ---Good luck

[shaneka]

Iam sorry for your lost too. Yeah I'm happy he not around nomore but I do miss him sometimes but I've moved on an just trying to focus on myself.

[Alty]

I'm a bit confused. Did you lose the baby or did you have an abortion?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...od-504313.html

I'm not trying to be mean, I just find it a bit odd that you asked about your period after an abortion on the one thread, but on this one you're saying that you lost the baby. There is a big difference.

[kitten420]

I am so sorry to hear about your baby. It's a really hard thing to go through. The same thing happened to my best friend she was 5 months when she lost her baby. And probably a week after her baby's dad left her, he left because he realized he doesn't want a fa,mily and he realized he wasn't stuck so he was free to leave and do what he wanted. You just have to stay strong and go to counseling and if you can't do that console in family and friends


Make sure you don't talk to that no good baby's dad ever again he shld have never left you after that he shld have ben therer for you