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Michael67 · Jun 26, 2010, 01:41 PM

Hi there, I'm in a tight spot and need serious advice, I have a gilfriend and she got pregnant, we decided to keep the baby, but the day we found out she was pregnant, was the day I left to australia for a job offer and can't get back to her for the duration of the pregnancy, I really love her with all my heart and want to be there for her but I can't and its taking a tole on both of us, please I need som advice on how to handle this, what to say to her that everything will be okay, and not lose her in the process, please help!

mrshodges · Jun 26, 2010, 02:00 PM

That's a tough one. Maybe if your job is going to last a while you can set aside money for her to go to you.This might show her you want her and the baby. Call whenever you can. Make sure you know everything that's going on with the pregnancy. You might get some better answers if you post in relationships.

sully123 · Jun 26, 2010, 02:59 PM

Why are you away from her? She can't be with you? Are you a couple and how old are both of you? Tell us more.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 26, 2010, 04:24 PM

Is the job that important ?

Why can't she come there ?

Next what was the plans before you found out she was pregnant, just leaving her for good?
Internet video chatting comes to mind ?

Michael67 · Jun 26, 2010, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by sully123

Why are you away from her? She can't be with you? Are you a couple and how old are both of you? Tell us more.

The thing is, it's a very good job and I can make a lot of money with this job, if I qualify then I'm set for life, and I will be able to support my girlfriend and kid financially, but with my apprentice salary I also will be able to support her for the duration of the pregnancy. Im 20 and she is 19, I know it's a bit young, but I'm ready to be a dad and be with her for the rest of my life, and also I have to be on a 457 visa before I can bring her over and we are busy to apply for the visa, but it might take a year, that's why I want help, to be able to be there for her.

Michael67 · Jun 26, 2010, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Is the job that important ?

why can't she come there ?

next what was the plans before you found out she was pregnant, just leaving her for good ??
Internet video chatting comes to mind ?

The job is very important, it decides if I'm going to make it in life or not, and before we knew she was pregnant, my plans were the same, to come to australia and make a life for us 2 and she agreed to wait for me, but I'm just afraid now with the pregnancy, and I'm not there for her she is going to change her mind, because I know your partner needs you now more than ever during pregnancy, I will be able to bring her over with me after a year, but then I'm missing a chapter in her life that means a lot to me, the hole pregnancy, how will I be able to assure her everything will be okay?

talaniman · Jun 27, 2010, 06:46 AM

Relax a bit guy. Does she have family support while you are away? You can always send money, and keep in close contact. Many have gone through this and you have to do what you have to do, as supporting a family REQUIRES A JOB.

redhed35 · Jun 27, 2010, 07:00 AM

For this to work you BOTH have to understand your BOTH doing this so you can be a family together.

Making it a joint decision,on both of your futures and that of your child puts the responsibility on both of you,not just you.

OK,she's pregnant,she has support at home,when you call,very often! talk about your plans together,make plans,give her something to hold onto when she is worried at night in her bed,send her pictures of where you are,write letters,you can be involved.

Your busy making a life for your family,for you,her and the baby,and her job is to grow the baby,and sleep well in the knowledge that you ARE working your ar$e off for all of you.

parisrose · Jun 27, 2010, 11:03 AM

You are working towards building a life for your family. There are a lot of things that get in the way of it like laws , etc. But you are helping to build a beautiful for life for your family, I think that is really great!

If you can't be there for the pregnancy at least you will be able to have her and your baby after and with a great job to support them.

Michael67 · Jun 29, 2010, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by redhed35

for this to work you BOTH have to understand your BOTH doing this so you can be a family together.

making it a joint decision,on both of your futures and that of your child puts the responsibility on both of you,not just you.

ok,shes pregnant,she has support at home,when you call,very often!,talk about your plans together,make plans,give her something to hold onto when she is worried at night in her bed,send her pictures of where you are,write letters,you can be involved.

your busy making a life for your family,for you,her and the baby,and her job is to grow the baby,and sleep well in the knowledge that you ARE working your ar$e off for all of you.

Thank you so much, this is really helping a lot, I have been so worried as late that I can't even concentrate on my job, but your advice will really help me with time, I'm sure I will be able to sleep at night now, but the good thing about this is that I'm making money and a future for my family as you said. We spoke last night on the phone and she told me that I shouldn't worry, because she won't leave me and she wants me to be strong for both of us. And she has got support from family and friends that side, so it should be easier for her than me. But thank you again, ill keep you posted on the situation.