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    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #21

    Jul 10, 2010, 06:31 PM

    No matter what he should not have beat you, he was wrong for losing control and striking out at you, no man should ever hit a woman, and please take a tip from a survivor of Domestic Violence, don't have anything more to do with him he may promise to never ever do it again, don't believe him, click link below to read more about this.

    Click HERE

    Read every page or one page, but please don't allow this man to hurt you in this way, prosecute him, don't allow this behaviour to become part of your life.

    I have been there, it doesn't get better it gets worse.

    There is a page with links and helplines to contact on that site the link above is for.

    Nothing you said gives him the right to beat you NOTHING..
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #22

    Jul 10, 2010, 06:34 PM

    OP you need to post in the Answer this question box at foot of page there's not enough room in comments section
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #23

    Jul 10, 2010, 06:46 PM

    Sorry Kat have to spread the rep.

    OP please listen to us we have been where you are and it doesn't get better, really it doesn't, just click link in my first post in this thread, and read the page contents, or any page on that site,


    Get help now, before he ends up killing you or seriously wounding you..
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #24

    Jul 10, 2010, 06:48 PM

    OP you need to write out your replies in a reply or answer this question box at bottom of the page, or you won't have room for what you want to say. Like one this reply is in.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #25

    Jul 10, 2010, 07:15 PM

    The following is taken from one page of the site the link leads to.

    Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
    You express your opinions less and less freely.
    You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when and how to say something.
    You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
    You find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior.
    You feel emotionally unsafe.
    You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about your relationship.
    You hope things will change... especially through your love and understanding.
    You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
    You doubt your own judgment.
    You doubt your abilities.
    You feel vulnerable and insecure.
    You are becoming increasingly depressed.
    You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
    You have been or are afraid of your partner.
    Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.

    Relationship-Help: Domestic-Violence

    "In the United States, every twelve to eight seconds a woman is beaten by a man; four women each day are reported beaten to death; and women are six hundred percent more likely to be brutalized by an intimate partner than are men
    GrettaBette's Avatar
    GrettaBette Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Jul 10, 2010, 07:32 PM
    Nearly all apply to me, I'm an educated girl and I've been tolded pretty often I'm good looking.I think he gets intimidated bacause he wouldn't be as visablly attractive and is uneducated whereas I'd get a lot of attention. But after 4 years he should no better like. But I can't leave you don't understand, actually I don't understand.
    I have no confidence, and every time I rebuild my confidence and leave he tells me an unlimited nuumber of promises. I should have more sense.

    The last time he beat me up was when I told him I didn't love him. He's more of an emotional abuser, but it he has frequently hit me.Infront of people also. Now I'm bruised and cut.

    I don't think I can leave, I know this makes no sense and I totally understand that but I've tried numerous times. But he tricks me and then calls me every name under the sun, it's unbelieveable. So I doubt myself. I'm so lost.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #27

    Jul 10, 2010, 07:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GrettaBette View Post
    Nearly all apply to me, I'm an educated girl and i've been tolded pretty often i'm good looking.I think he gets intimidated bacause he wouldn't be as visablly attractive and is uneducated whereas i'd get alot of attention. But after 4 years he should no better like. But I can't leave you don't understand, actually I don't understand.
    I have no confidence, and every time I rebuild my confidence and leave he tells me an unlimited nuumber of promises. I should have more sence.

    The last time he beat me up was when I told him I didn't love him. He's more of an emotional abuser, but it he has frequently hit me.Infront of people also. Now i'm bruised and cut.

    I don't think I can leave, I know this makes no sence and I totally understand that but i've tried numerous times. But he tricks me and then calls me every name under the sun, it's unbelieveable. So I doubt myself. I'm so lost.
    Are there shelters where you live? Do you have friends or family? I want you to listen to me. He will threaten, cry, swear on his mothers life that he will change. He will not change. How can you love someone who beats you black and blue? How do you look at yourself in the mirror
    While he sits there gloating. I don't know how to tell you this but if he's been in other relationshipas, don't think he hasn't beaten them too.

    He has a child with another woman. Did he beat her? He is a coward with no backbone and he wouldn't dare hit a man. He wouldn't dare hit a woman if she pressed charges and had him thrown in jail. Get rid of him, have him arrested and don't drop the charges. Find somewhere to go while he is in jail and get a restraining order against him. Maybe a few nights in jail with a cell mate named Bulldog would change his mind.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    Jul 10, 2010, 07:48 PM

    You will be lost forever unless you leave ASAP. I think you should listen to what the others are telling you.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #29

    Jul 10, 2010, 07:51 PM

    Please take this advice. YOU ARE IN DANGER!
    GrettaBette's Avatar
    GrettaBette Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    Jul 10, 2010, 08:00 PM
    No he was never serious with that other girl, and only got with her every time we finished if that makes sense. Aparentley he is playing the victim now, and everybody is blaming me as it is my fault what happened. I shouldn't have said what I said. He also poured drinks over me. It was just so degrading. I feel mortified talking about this, I should no better. I just can't explain why I still give him chances after chance. I don't understand it. He just makes me feel like I can't go on without him.


    Guys I'm so sorry for rambling, I just need to rant. A lot of my friends & family wouldn't entertain the idea of us being together so I feel I have no were to go or talk about this. It's embarrassing portraying myself as a victim, I should no better. I'm sorry guys thanks for all your help .
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #31

    Jul 10, 2010, 08:09 PM

    He wants to degrade you. That's what they do. They brainwash you into thinking you can't do any better without them.

    One minute lovey dovey the next minute having to explain why you forgot to put his boots beside the bed or why you put onions in a salad. Walking on eggshells, wearing longsleeves in the summertime so people won't see the bruises. Waiting for his fist to hit you in the face because you don't have his shirt ironed the right way.

    You are somebody and you deserve more.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #32

    Jul 10, 2010, 08:56 PM

    He wants you to have no confidence, he wants you to think everyone blames you that's what they do they destroy your confidence yourself esteem and belief in yourself.

    That way they keep you under their control, he doesn't love you, he doesn't love anyone, he is a woman beater, and unless you speak out for yourself he will just do as he's done to you now over and over again, He will promise he won't, he will swear on a stack of bibles he's sorry and will never hurt you again until the next time.

    My abuser almost killed me or could have then lucky for me he saw the bloody spurt from my hand and hit the ceiling and he panicked, but he was intending to kill me he told me as much.

    I too was afriad to leave him, he told me no one would listen to me or believe me everyone knew I was a liar a slut and asked for all I got that it was all my fault I made him do it, and like you I believed him, This is how I can say to you in all honesty Don't Believe him he's LYING to YOU. Please don't allow yourself to be treated this way, I ask you to listen to what's been posted here and what you've read on my site, and get away from him, you might not be as lucky as I was many women die at the hands of the partners.

    Don't become another statistic. Get out NOW. PLEASE.

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