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    billybob4213's Avatar
    billybob4213 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 22, 2010, 10:29 AM
    Should I break up with my girlfriend
    Well my girlfriend treats me like and I have suspicions that she cheats on me and doesn't tell me a lot of things, one time I found her flirting with another guy on her cell while we were hanging out, now she accusses me of being an when I do everything for her, she sits down and gets me to do everything, we broke up for 2-3 weeks before and I couldn't get over her, and I was sad the whole time , I went back to her and it's the same way as before only worse, she lies everyday and I can't take it , I don't want to lose her but at the same time I want to , she means everything to me and I gave up everything to be with her, friends and all , now I don't know what to do , she always says something that ends with a different guy would do this or that , and it hurts but I don't want to lose her and feel the pain of not being with her, I am more afraid that she won't care if we break up and go for another guy, I just wish it was easy for me to move on like it is her , what should I do ?
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #2

    Jun 22, 2010, 10:32 AM

    Do you want to be a doormat or a Man,?

    Get out now and get over her she's obviously not going to change, its up to you.

    The sane thing to do would be walk away and get on with your life.

    Failing this accept you're going to be lied to treated badly and miserable for as long as you stay with this female...
    inluvinga's Avatar
    inluvinga Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jun 22, 2010, 11:09 AM

    There are other girls out there that will treat you properly. You're better off to be single, have fun and concentrate on your life. You can't change someone else, or control what they do and how they act.

    You don't have to put up with someone mistreating you, it will only make you resent her later when you see that you wasted your time. Its hard to get over losing a girlfriend, but you can never get back the time you waste with people that have no respect for you.
    parisrose's Avatar
    parisrose Posts: 61, Reputation: 28
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jun 22, 2010, 11:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by billybob4213 View Post
    i don't want to lose her but at the same time i want to , she means everything to me and i gave up everything to be with her, friends and all ,

    You know deep inside its best to move on. It's hard to make changes in life, but sometimes you just have to do them. Also you shouldn't give up everything for someone, because if it doesn't work out like so, then you have a really hard time building your life again.

    I suggest go NC with her, let yourself heal. Even if she dates other people right away, don't worry!! You will be dating other people soon enough. It's going to be hard but you will be a lot happier once its done. We are all here for you through this.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #5

    Jun 22, 2010, 11:20 AM

    If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times. "Women despise men who are weak. They despise men who are there at their beck and call. They have no respect for a man who takes them back no matter who they sleep with or what they do"

    She knows she has you on a leash and she knows you are her "stand by". Her friends and yours know it too. Get a backbone and some self respect and tell her to get lost.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 22, 2010, 11:31 PM
    It isn't likely that she is going to be hit with a bolt of lightening from above, and suddenly turn into sweetness and light, and everything is going to be okay.

    This isn't about her in my opinion.

    It is about why you allow yourself to be used and abused. She dishes it out, time after time after time, and you take it like a sick puppy, and wait for her to throw you a few crumbs. Time just keeps going on this toxic little merry go round, and even though it has spun out of control, and your legs are caught in the bars and you keep hitting your head on the concrete below, you still don't get it.

    If you want to live a life of servitude, without any nurturing, love, compassion and respect, just keep on doing exactly what you are doing. Expect to keep giving, and expect to receive nothing in return. The role you play in this relationship will not change, and her role in this relationship will not change. Why should it. Her needs are being met. No matter what she does, she knows you will just keep waiting for those crumbs.

    Please get yourself into counselling and learn how to build a little confidence in yourself. You are so beaten down with all the bad behaviour, that you think it's normal. It isn't.

    You really have only two choices. Stay and put up with it. Or, leave and start living your life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jun 23, 2010, 06:24 AM

    You gave up your friends and everything to be with her? That's really messed up, since she treats you like crap. Get your dignity and self respect back by getting her out of your life and rebuild yourself.

    No one should give up everything that's important to be treated like crap! Over time you can get over her, if you leave her alone.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #8

    Jun 23, 2010, 09:48 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You gave up your friends and everything to be with her?? Thats really messed up, since she treats you like crap. Get your dignity and self respect back by getting her out of your life and rebuild yourself.

    No one should give up everything thats important to be treated like crap!! Over time you can get over her, if you leave her alone.





    Tal is right... Don't be a man who waits for her to throw a few crumbs for you. She is a user and you allow her to treat you like scum. Until you can man up and tell her where to get off, she'll keep doing it. You're like a little puppy dog.. she could kick you every day and then pat you on the head and you go running. The only difference is puppy dogs sometimes bite back.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #9

    Jun 23, 2010, 02:12 PM

    You said that she lies to you, and it’s obvious that she manipulates you, so you have to know that this isn’t a healthy relationship.

    You say you love her, but then add that she hurts your feeling constantly. Is it really possible to love something that is unhealthy for you? I would encourage you to know that there is healthy love and there is unhealthy love, and it's up to you to know which kind you want in your life, and then go after it.

    As far as giving you some quick advice for how to make this a more healthy relationship, quit being wimpy and tell her that if she lies to you one more time it is over. Start with that one and back it up. Put what you really want on the line. Without honesty, you got nothing
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #10

    Jun 23, 2010, 02:27 PM

    She'll keep on doing this unless you get away and stop dancing to her tune.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jun 23, 2010, 02:32 PM

    should i break up with my girlfriend You call this a girlfriend?? Don't just kick her to the curb, disappear from her life.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #12

    Jun 23, 2010, 02:36 PM

    Run from her. The longer you let her do this to you the longer it will take to get over her.

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