[Kitkat22]

Wow! Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and for sharing your stories with me. Everytime I start to feel lonely or just plain crazy for missing him, I come here and start to feel so much better. I can't express how much this site has helped me. I will get through this with plenty of time.

We're here for you! We've all been through some kind of hurt and we will help you... Sweet Dreams:)

[positiveparent]

Come here anytime you feel you need us, we will be here to help you through the up days, down days, happy days and thoughtful days, and also on the day you can come here and tell us Im finally over him.

That's what this site is all about helping others through their experiences with support and understanding...

[kp2171]

I don't believe in soul mates.

Sure... I think there are Really Special People we meet along the way that might be great fits for us...

But c'mon... a few billion people on this earth and just one is right for you? And he happens to be within ten miles of ja?

I don't buy it.

I get the pain from knowing a love is with another. Its common. The hurt is relentless. Until it isn't.

And it usually isn't when you are with someone else... or you've finally knocked down all the noise that kept you in pain...

When a love breaks up with you, its harder. First... that other person usually has been thinkig about the break longer than you... and they've cycled through the "should i or shouldnt i" noise a lot longer... to you, it is raw... to him, its at least been thought though a time or two... that's no relief of pain for you, but it does help you understand that he might be moving on before you because he was out long before you.

I remember one love playing the "i just dont want to date anyone right now" card... well, within a month she was with another guy... she'd been thinking about a break for a time... not sure of it... but thinking about it and circling around the pros and cons...

So...

Here's the truth... the father I am from past loves, in time, the easier it is... my first Really Big Love Lost? Glad she's married. Good for her. Sorry for him. Meow.

The next Big Love Lost? Same thing. Glad to think she is happy with another boy.

Same for the next.

And next.

Now.. the last Big Love Lost. Its still too raw. But in time, I trust, it will change.

So... sorry you are in this place. But it really is sometimes to be hurting and not knowing why it went "wrong"... because even if you were all in, he wasn't.

And that's on him, not you.

So... welcome to the club. We're mortal. Sometimes we call the break. Sometimes it t bones us and shakes us to the core.

Trust that you are not going to always feel like this. I damn near promise this, from my own experience... it just takes much too long to get to the better place. But it's there.

[Kitkat22]

i dont believe in soul mates.

sure... i think there are Really Special People we meet along the way that might be great fits for us...

but c'mon... a few billion people on this earth and just one is right for you? and he happens to be within ten miles of ja?

i dont buy it.

i get the pain from knowing a love is with another. its common. the hurt is relentless. until it isnt.

and it usually isnt when you are with someone else... or youve finally knocked down all the noise that kept you in pain...

when a love breaks up with you, its harder. first... that other person usually has been thinkig about the break longer than you... and they've cycled through the "should i or shouldnt i" noise a lot longer... to you, it is raw... to him, its at least been thought though a time or two... thats no relief of pain for you, but it does help you understand that he might be moving on before you because he was out long before you.

i remember one love playing the "i just dont want to date anyone right now" card... well, within a month she was with another guy... she'd been thinking about a break for a time... not sure of it... but thinking about it and circling around the pros and cons...

so...

heres the truth... the father i am from past loves, in time, the easier it is... my first Really Big Love Lost? glad shes married. good for her. sorry for him. meow.

the next Big Love Lost? same thing. glad to think she is happy with another boy.

same for the next.

and next.

now.. the last Big Love Lost. its still too raw. but in time, i trust, it will change.

so... sorry you are in this place. but it really is sometimes to be hurting and not knowing why it went "wrong"... because even if you were all in, he wasnt.

and thats on him, not you.

so... welcome to the club. we're mortal. sometimes we call the break. sometimes it t bones us and shakes us to the core.

trust that you are not going to always feel like this. i damn near promise this, from my own experience... it just takes much too long to get to the better place. but its there.

It does take time and times goes by so slowly sometimes we wonder if it will ever end. It does.

[lena1024]

I was with my boyfriend for 6 years. I gave so much to him in those years. He was an abused and neglected child who grew up in a violent home and he's carried that anger and violence with him his whole life. His father abused him physically, mentally and emotionally and guess what... he abused me in all the same ways. When I first met him I thought he was a complete a**hole and I hated him but after 6 months I realized it was just a front or a wall he puts up to keep people out because he's afraid of being hurt. He has a great deal of self-hatred and he thinks the whole world hates him and everyone is out to get him. I went into the relationship believing that if I gave him all the love and encouragement he never had, than I could change how he feels about himself. I truly believed I could "fix" him. I thought my love would be enough to bring him the happiness he's never had before. I talked him up all the time and told him what a good person he is inside, how good looking he is, how amazing he is as a lover... I pulled out all the stops and gave him every compliment or encouraging remark I could think of.
I gave him everything I had in me and after 6 years he left me for some lowly, trashy woman who he was cheating on me with. Then I found out from HIS friends that he'd been cheating on me for years. I only moved out 1 month ago and it is still so incredibly painful to be without him. I gave him everything I had and he turned around and cast me aside like garbage. It hurts so much and the pain is still so fresh and so raw and so unbearable sometimes. I made the mistake of thinking I could make him happy when in reality, the burden of his happiness is not mine to bear. Only he can make himself happy. I do still miss him so very much and I love him with all my heart. But I feel so betrayed and hurt I know I could never let him back into my life.
How could someone I loved for so long and gave so much of my soul to treat me that way then move on so quickly with another woman? Every single person who knew us as a couple... and I do mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON... has told me I should never have been with him, he never deserved me and I could do so much better. That only makes me wonder even more... If I was truly too good for him then why did he leave me for this classic “trailer-park-trash” woman?

[Cat1864]

*************

He left because he wasn't there to begin with.

His friends have told you that she was in the picture for years. Have you paid attention to that fact?

Let him and all of that pain go. Give yourself permission to heal. The abused person you need to take care of is yourself as you should have been doing all along.

I am going to suggest you get counseling and find a support group for abused women. I think it is very important that you realize you aren't alone or the first one to go through this.

Give yourself a chance to move forward.

[stbmrsd]

I was in a relationship for many years and when we broke up I longed so badly to tell him I missed him I told my best Friend I was going to text her as if I was going to be sending it to him . Like I would text I love you so much I miss you I long to be near you and then I would send it to her .I got it off my chest and she would send me one back with supportive words understanding words , sometimes it helps because we text before all the time so it was breaking that habit as well . Friends Rock !

[Kitkat22]

Hang in there Lena.

[lena1024]

Come here anytime you feel you need us, we will be here to help you through the up days, down days, happy days and thoughtful days, and also on the day you can come here and tell us Im finally over him.

Thats what this site is all about helping others through their experiences with support and understanding....

I look forward to the day I can say I'm finally over him. I'm working toward that goal every single minute of the day. Thank you.

[Kitkat22]

I look forward to the day I can say I'm finally over him. I'm working toward that goal every single minute of the day. Thank you.

You'll get there... one day at a time... we're here for you!:)

[positiveparent]

Every single person who knew us as a couple...and I do mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON...has told me I should never have been with him, he never deserved me and I could do so much better. That only makes me wonder even more...[B]If I was truly too good for him then why did he leave me for this classic “trailer-park-trash” woman[/B]?

There's your answer right there in the last sentence of your text as quoted above...

[lena1024]

Threads merged. You don't have to keep starting new threads about the same thing.



It's been such a bad week for me. I've gone from sad to depressed to just plain pathetic. I can't eat, I don't sleep very well and I can't stop thinking of my ex-boyfriend John. All I can do is cry myself to sleep and hope when I wake up it will all be better.

Since he broke up with me the stress has become overwhelming. Add to the break-up the fact that I've started a new job with more responsibility and my grandmother had a stroke. Well this all lead me to start smoking. Yesterday I tried to quit and after 10 1/2 hours I became physically ill. The stress of the break-up and quitting were just too much at once and I came so close to contacting him. I wrote a text message to tell him I still love him but I didn't send it. I'd rather smoke than give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he's broken me.

Tonight I wrote a letter to my friends to vent and let out all of my sadness and it did ease the pain. I don't know where I would be without my friends and you folks on this site. This pain is just too much sometimes, I don't wish it on anyone. Not even the woman he left me for but it's only a matter of time before he does it to her... this is his pattern and he'll never change.

[lena1024]

My ex boyfriend text me today and ask "Are you ever going to speak to me again?" I didn't respond and have no intention of ever responding. That one text was worth all the depression I have been feeling this week because of him. Now I know the bastard DOES think about me and DOES still want me in his life. Maybe his new girlfriend isn't all that he thought she would be, maybe the challenge of having both of us is over and that bothers him, maybe he misses me... poor poor baby, life's a all around. Whatever his reasons for contacting me he can go eat and howl at the moon!

I was so depressed this week, crying myself to sleep, not eating and feeling pitiful. All I've wanted to know is if he thinks of me, does he miss me, is he so happy with his new girlfriend (the trailer park trash he cheated on me with) that he no longer cares about me at all. Well my questions have been answered and I feel a huge relief. If he didn't think of me, didn't care and didn't miss me then he would never want to know if I will speak to him. He still wants me in his life but I will not be another of his ex-girlfriends to sit back and wait for him to come back. He betrayed my trust and abused me, he doesn't deserve anything I offered him and now he will always wonder and regret his actions.

[Kitkat22]

You go girl! I'm applauding for you.

[BWK10]

Kudos to you, keep it up! Don't let that scum have any part of you.

[Devorameira]

In spite of all the pain you've been through, you've got exactly the right attitude toward the jerk! Keep up the good work!

[positiveparent]

Good for you that's the spirit you're moving on, and it will be his loss, just keep on ignoring him, he deserves all he gets.


CONGRATULATIONS, You're DOING GREAT!!

[parisrose]

Yayy!! This was great to read, I'm glad you are moving on!!

[Kitkat22]

You rock Lena!

[positiveparent]

Way to go, its great when someone finally gets it and does what's best for them and not the person they've started to get over and move on from.

WooHoo...

As Kat said You Go Girl...