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binesta · May 4, 2004, 08:05 PM

OK this is the a long time ago I met this guy he wanted to date me I didn't want to date him, so I went out with his friend wich was my first um you know... so that didn't last long and then I decided to go out with the guy they call him pantera well I decided to give him a chance.
So our relationship was the best I fell completely in love with him I told him everything and he didi to, we lasted 1 year and 9 months. Well the sun of a broke it of, we went to acapulco and there when he was with his friends and I alone he broke up with me, then the same day he kissed another ing girl, and while he was doing this wich he promised he wouldn't, his friend my ex was trying to get into my pants, so I told him off, and the next day found out about pantera kissing that other girl.
Then he always wanted to talk to her I asked him not to because it hurt my feelings he didn't care, then all his friends wich I thought were my friends to started making fun of me but in a really mean way.
So I lost my boyfriend and my friends.
When we came back I kissed 2 guys wel what can I say I thought that would help I thought I could fall in love, ja stupid me, then pantera told me he wanted to get back with me just not yet, he said that I really hurt him by kissing 2 guys when he only kissed 1 girl.
He was suppose to be my best friend and in acapulco when I told him I was alone and just needed my friend he ing didn't care.
Now he still says he loves me, he needs me he misses me but he needs time that he does want to get back but not yet. Today he said hed call but he hasn't and he's been going out with another girl nothing serious he hasn't even kissed her but he holds her hand and takes her places .
What should I do, it really hurts I really love him I do, I want him back but I don't know what to do?

mtybaldone · May 5, 2004, 01:55 PM

Wow,
You got more drama then General Hospital and you're not getting paid!
Not to knock you Binesta, but it sounds like you got some really immature stuff going on here. It sounds like this boyfriend dumped you in Acapulco so that he could get with other girls, and wants you back now that he's getting a little lonely. But not too lonely, because he has this other chick to hang out with. Sounds like he's trying to keep you around so he can get some nasty, meanwhile he's working this other chick. As soon as he gets into her pants, he'll dump you.
Leave him, it'll take time to get over him, but you'll be the better for it. It sucks, especially because it sounds like you lost your crew, but I don't think they were really your friends anyway.

binesta · May 5, 2004, 04:41 PM

Well maybe you're right I think I would be better of without him but its not easy, I want to call him all the time and I can't stop thinking about him.
The thing I was his first, he has never had sex with no one else, and I know for a fact that's really important to him even thogh he's a man. I also know he hasn't done anything with that other girl not even kissed her, he still invites me out of course and he hugs me, like he can't get over me, and he tells people that he's really sad and he loves and misses me and that I'm the one that doesn't want to get back with him because of how I act, I told him to stop saying bull because he knew I wanted him back, even though it wasn't the very best decision.
I wish I could just forget him but I cant, and I can't stop seeing him because he's at al the parties and he plays in the same band I do. Besides that he's been cutting himself you know on his arm he made 30 or more cuts on it and he also cut his face, I also cut myself because it makes me feel better, but he made me sware I woulnt do it anymore so I haven't. If he is as lonely as he says to everyone and if he loves me so much and he says he wants me back then why doesn't he makes up his mind, and why can't I just forget him, he's the first guy I really loved in my life, so that why its so hard.

mtybaldone · May 6, 2004, 08:58 AM

Okay Binesta,
What kind of band are you in? I certainly inderstand that artits, and especially musicians, are extremely emotional people. They are passionate and wear their hearts on their sleeves, but often to a fault. Many times those emotions get so overwhelming that they take control and the people don't know how to handle them. That's why you see so many musicians turning to drugs as a way to dull their passions.
I'm starting to think that you guys have issues way beyond this forum. If you and he are self-mutilating as a way of dealing with your emotions, then this is very serious. That is not healthy behavior, by any means. I'm not trying to scare you, but it is very serious.
How old are you guys?

binesta · May 6, 2004, 01:58 PM

We are both 18.
It's a PUNK band called .
I also paint and write so that makes even more intouch with my feelings.
I am so passionate and romantic I guess I think with my hart because I want to feel that I'm alive.
I go to the high school psicologist I actually take psicology clases, he says I have histeric tendencies, that I am a masorquist and sadistic.
We both have problems, he actually is presenting a spilt personality disorder. And is also sadistic and masorquist, he loves to hurt other people, and he has a gift for hurting other people.

DeathBlade · May 6, 2004, 03:25 PM

Well the last thing sombody of unstable mentality needs is sombody else with unstable mentality. BUt then again, it seems like you have a lot in common, S&M and all. You know what they say, misary loves company.

binesta · May 7, 2004, 12:19 PM

OK my band isn't called thingy
Its called C U N T

binesta · May 9, 2004, 10:36 PM

OK it gets worse this weekend I saw pantera, and we got drunk and one thing led to another and welll...
Before that or after I don't remember he told me everything that he loved me and missed me so much that he wanted to get back with me but that he only needed time to sleep and I don't know time, but that he was sure he wanted me back, that not getting back together wasn't an option for him. And that he wasn't going to do anything with any girl because he doesn't want to lose me, that he made a mistake but that he needs me but also just needs a little time.
What should I do??

chicki · Jul 19, 2004, 02:20 AM

You know what... you really need to stand up for yourself.. your boy is confused... he doesn't want to lose you but then again he wants to fool around. If you're okay with that.. then OK... stay in the relationship. If you want him to be as committed to you as you are to him... then you need to put your foot down. It sucks that you have to go through this because you obviously care about him! And I'm not saying he doesn't because I don't know that.. but all I'm saying is maybe he's not ready for a serious and committed relationship.

He needs to respect you and not put you on the shelf as if you're a toy that can be put away when he doesn't need you and just pick you up again when he wants to play! But first, you need to respect yourself enough to know that you don't deserve this.

And the whole issue with self mutilation.. please hon... take care of yourself, talk to someone, get help.

Good luck on this whole deal...