Check out some similar questions!

elababy3808 · Apr 28, 2010, 04:33 PM

my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years, we are both attending college, and he has told me before that he loves me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. We are a happy couple and have problems like every other couple, but we're best friends :) .. only thing is he doesnt want to move in with me, im not sure if its because of responsibility or what. and if it is because of responsibility isnt that a little immature.. i dont know what to do any opinions and help would be great thank you..

ChihuahuaMomma · Apr 28, 2010, 04:37 PM

Have you asked HIM why he doesn't want to move in? Maybe he's not ready for it. Most guys see moving in as a rather big progression in the relationship. Moving in together turns to get getting married which turns to having a kid with turns to having another kid and so on... This could intimidate a guy. Especially a college age guy. Does he live alone? Dorm? With parents?

elababy3808 · Apr 28, 2010, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Have you asked HIM why he doesn't want to move in? Maybe he's not ready for it. Most guys see moving in as a rather big progression in the relationship. Moving in together turns to get getting married which turns to having a kid with turns to having another kid and so on...This could intimidate a guy. Especially a college age guy. Does he live alone? Dorm? With parents?

I have asked him why and he says because his parents will stop paying his bills for him, which moves onto yes he still lives with his parents.. he goes to college for free (from fasfa not his parents) so his parents pay car insurance, and phone bill, with leaves him with no responsibility.. for me its not really a decent reason I find it lazy =/ haha

ChihuahuaMomma · Apr 28, 2010, 04:51 PM

So, does he have a job? Or is he a full time student?

elababy3808 · Apr 28, 2010, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

So, does he have a job? Or is he a full time student?

Both , he has a job, and is a fulltime student.

ChihuahuaMomma · Apr 28, 2010, 05:09 PM

Does his job provide enough money for a household or is that why he is still living with his parentS?

elababy3808 · Apr 28, 2010, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Does his job provide enough money for a household or is that why he is still living with his parentS?

He is still living with his parents because they treat him like a baby, clean after him, clean his room, his dishes, do his laundry, cook for him, pay him money for anything he wants. And they baby him and don't treat him as an adult.. us together make enough money

Enigma1999 · Apr 28, 2010, 05:16 PM

Hello,

Can you really blame the guy? I say good for him! Let him continue to go to school and graduate, then find a career, then play house...

You shouldn't take it personally. It doesn't have anything to do with YOU. He just playing it smart.

I did the same thing when I was in my late teens/ early twenties. The deal was with my folks, that if I continued to go to college, they would pay my way. That's exactly what I did!

You two will some day live together and take on responsibilities as a couple. For now, let him graduate college without the extra stress, especially if Mom and Dad are willing to pay his way.

elababy3808 · Apr 28, 2010, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Hello,

Can you really blame the guy?? I say good for him! Let him continue to go to school and graduate, then find a career, then play house...

You shouldn't take it personally. It doesn't have anything to do with YOU. He just playing it smart.

I did the same thing when I was in my late teens/ early twenties. The deal was with my folks, that if I continued to go to college, they would pay my way. That's exactly what I did!

You two will some day live together and take on responsibilities as a couple. For now, let him graduate college without the extra stress, especially if Mom and Dad are willing to pay his way.

He is going to college for free with or without his parents.

Enigma1999 · Apr 28, 2010, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by elababy3808

he is going to college for free with or without his parents.

Even better for him! No student loans to pay back.

sabrewolfe · Apr 28, 2010, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by elababy3808

he is going to college for free with or without his parents.

But there are other bills involved here. His living expenses.

ChihuahuaMomma · Apr 28, 2010, 05:22 PM

But he isn't living free without them. I agree, I think this way its easier for him to focus on school. If he has the responsibilities of bills, a house/apartment, live-in-girlfriend, pets, etc... his school work could suffer. I think you pushing him into this would be a mistake and could likely push him away. I would say respect his choice and his education enough to be patient and wait it out. He's making a smart choice.

I've been on my own since I was 15. Just because you THINK you'll have enough together to afford a place doesn't mean that you will actually be able to afford it. Most places you have to bring in three times the amount of rent. There are tons of utilities to take into account (I never knew you had to pay for WATER when I first moved out). What happens if the toilet overflows in the middle of the night and you can't get ahold of the landlord and the plumber won't leave without his $200 and you don't have it? What happens when you just paid rent and have $7 left and your transmission in your car goes out? Having "enough" is never enough. I say be young and irresponsible as long as you can, cause once it's time to step up to the plate it's not as fun as you think.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2010, 11:47 PM

Whatever his reasons, its clear he doesn't want what you want, and isn't ready to leave home. That's just the way it is, and you accept it, as you never know, it might be a blessing in disguise, because you know you won't pamper him like his mommy does. And I doubt he will like it if you don't.