[estranged_01]

A co-worker of mine and I have been recently spending a great deal of time together. We usually make plans with each other one all of our days off together etc. When we're together it's an absolute blast. We talk about anything and everything from work to personal things that we confide in each other. He's told me that he enjoys spending time with me because there is no drama and it's just a lot of fun. He also said he's spent more time with me lately than his group of friends that he grew up with. When we go out he tends to want to pay for dinner etc. Although this all seems wonderful a few weeks back at work we were both joking around about how everyone thinks we make such a cute couple and I jokingly told him well we should go out then and he said no. I'm extremely confused because he calls me and makes plans with me all the time and we're even planning a trip to Thailand for next year for just the two of us yet he has never asked me out or anything like that. We have never even hugged etc yet he's always touching me at work when we talk i.e.. Arms, hands, back. When I first started hanging out with him I had a boyfriend of five years but we've since then separated and I'm now single. Can someone please explain this to me because I'm at a total loss.

[jhardegr]

Well, there's always the possibility that he's gay. Maybe he just wants to be friends because he isn't sexually attracted to women. Or, maybe he's afraid of "ruining the friendship."

Personally, I am a guy, and not gay, and I can assure you that we come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors. I'm also a "take the bull by the horns" kind of guy, so if I were in your situation I would just ask him the same question you asked us.

--John

[mnaznguy]

A co-worker of mine and I have been recently spending a great deal of time together. We usually make plans with each other one all of our days off together etc. When we're together it's an absolute blast. We talk about anything and everything from work to personal things that we confide in each other. He's told me that he enjoys spending time with me becasue there is no drama and it's just a lot of fun. He also said he's spent more time with me lately than his group of friends that he grew up with. When we go out he tends to want to pay for dinner etc. Although this all seems wonderful a few weeks back at work we were both joking around about how everyone thinks we make such a cute couple and I jokingly told him well we should go out then and he said no. I'm extremely confused because he calls me and makes plans with me all the time and we're even planning a trip to Thailand for next year for just the two of us yet he has never asked me out or anything like that. We have never even hugged etc yet he's always touching me at work when we talk ie. arms, hands, back. When I first started hanging out with him I had a boyfriend of five years but we've since then separated and I'm now single. Can someone please explain this to me because I'm at a total loss.

I agree with the other guy. Just ask him straight up. What's the harm. I think you might be wanting something more from it. Then again he might be the type of guy who wants you to really go for him. But just ask him and if he says he is not interested, drop it and let him just be your friend.

[sjethro00]

Complete advice from the previous posters; tell him you love the time you spend together, but you want to be on the same page as him in regards to what to call the thing you have.

[inChrist]

Answer? Because you are a woman.

[oblit]

The concept of the word "dating" completely changes things. He might have been sarcastic when he said no, he might have not wanted to admit it to himself. But, from the sounds of things, he is attracted to you. So, confront him on it.

[confusedgirl]

He clearly has feelings for you... whether they are intimate feelings or just casual he cares about you. I think you should keep doing what you are doing. Maybe you like him for the same reasons he likes you. You have a fun time together and enjoy each other's presence... but you should evaluate what you want to do. Do you want to date him? Or simply have fun with him like you are doing now. Try not to think about what is going to happen between you two and just let it happen. If you are meant to be together then it will happen.