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tizzy50 · Apr 17, 2010, 06:40 PM

Ill start my NC today and I don't know if I should delete her from my Facebook and my myspace pages.. wouldn't she think I'm trying to ignore her by forgeting her and finding someone else and maybe give up from me?. cause in the day we broke up I told her that I do accept her decision but I would be always there by her side in case she regrets it or even if she just feels down or needs me for anything.. yeah I know I shouldn't have said that, I know... but can anyone tell me if I should just delete her and if so for how long? Because once I delete her from my friendslist she won't be able to contact me at all regardless if she wants to apologize or even if she wants me back... cause that would be the only way for her to say anything to me.. shouldn't I allow her to communicate with me even if it is exclusively from one source? In case she wants to say anything... you know

Fr_Chuck · Apr 17, 2010, 06:46 PM

Yes, delete from Facebook and myspace

JoeCanada76 · Apr 17, 2010, 06:59 PM

Yes, delete from Facebook and myspace.

How many times did you guys breakup.

It is not worth it.

tizzy50 · Apr 17, 2010, 07:04 PM

No I'm sorry I meant that in the day we broke up I said those things to her... we broke up just once and I told her that stuff.. it was a misunderstood.

amicon · Apr 18, 2010, 04:58 AM

NC means you delete them from everything and start moving on with your life.

If your ex were truly wanting to post things out she would be in touch through a letter or a normal phonecall.

Devorameira · Apr 18, 2010, 07:04 AM

You definitely need to delete her from your Facebook and My Space accounts.

You said you're afraid if you delete her that she won't be able to ever contact you again. If she's been your girlfriend she surely should know where you live and could send a letter if all else fails.

Do yourself a favor and just consider this to be a permanent breakup. Do complete NC and start the healing process.

brokenarrow · Apr 18, 2010, 07:12 AM

I didn't delete my ex and all it did was cause problems because anytime I saw a post from him my heart would sink.

It also opened up my temptation to contact him by IM, which I did and ended up in a 2 hour chat which did not go well at all and it set me back about 3 months.

I was in the same boat you are in now. Not wanting them to think this or that about me so I didn't do it. BUT I think I should have.

You are trying to get over someone. This is not the time that you should be thinking about their feelings. You need to be selfish and think about you and only you. Would you be able to handle seeing posts on her wall or seeing her updates? I think if you answer those questions honestly you will know what you need to do.

tizzy50 · Apr 18, 2010, 09:07 AM

I understand dear friends but what I mean is that I'm not living close to her anymore... I'm living like really far away actually and she wouldn't be able to send me a letter cause she doesn't know my address.. the only thing she could do is calling me to my cell or send me a text but since I'm going to ignore those texts and calls I won't know if she wants me back or not... that's what I meant by allowing her to have at least one source to contact me cause if I do delete her from my myspace and Facebook she will become desperate and don't know what else to do in order to apologize or tell me that she regrets it... cause I'm pretty sure she will regret it after a while and I think she deserves a chance to apologize since I want her back.. the only thing I need right now is to make her miss me and understand what went wrong but after that I want her to understand that she can't live without me

the_original · Apr 18, 2010, 09:16 AM

You have to kind of teach yourself that whether she wants you back... now it's irrelevant. If it's meant to be than down the line who knows right? But as far as your concerned, you can't make anyone miss you. Assuming you wanted to work things out when this first happened, that opened a door. Whether she chooses to open up the lines of communication or not at the point to a resolution either leaves the door open or shuts it and locks it so to speak. Move on with your life, and let her do the same, NC may feel harsh, but we do it for us.

talaniman · Apr 18, 2010, 04:04 PM

Please spare me the games. It makes no sense to delete her from any means of contact but one, since you expect her to regret her actions, and come back. That's not healing, and moving on from a break up, that's waiting for her to change her mind, so either forget her, or sit, and wait for her. Punishing someone by making them miss you, is a high school game for young teen agers, so how old are you?? How long were you dating?

Why did you break up by the way, and she dumped you? This sounds like a long distance thing also, right?

Talaniman Rule- While they are dumping you, never say you can't be friends. Agree to whatever she wants, then disappear from their life.

vanheart · Apr 18, 2010, 04:29 PM

NC is not worrying about hurting her feelings. (Thats ridiculous)

Nor losing the ability to check up on each other.

Its about ridding yourself of as much BS & mind screws as you can (ie: everything & anything that has to do with her)

Anything that will get in the way of healing & moving forward.

That's what NC is about.

Then you can advance to removing any false hope for her by learning to control your thoughts.

"This is not the time that you should be thinking about their feelings. You need to be selfish and think about you and only you."

Exactly!! After all, she's gone...

tizzy50 · Apr 18, 2010, 04:34 PM

That's exactly what I meant talaniman.. we broke up cause I had to move and we got so far away that she got bored and couldn't take it anymore and since she's moving to college this year she would like to see what else is out there and make the move, you know... since then we had a long distance relationship and she decided to break up with me due to all this change in her life and she also doesn't want to be committed with someone forever and since we were together she knew that we would be together forever... we were dating for a year and we were planning to have a house and live together until the day she got tired of being so far away from me... I know she will regret it sooner or later and I want her back so that's why I'm so confused and I think that maybe we deserved another chance

vanheart · Apr 18, 2010, 04:38 PM

"she decided to break up with me due to all this change in her life and she also doesnt want to be commited with someone forever"

That's all you need to know.

Time to accept this.