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    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #1

    Apr 4, 2010, 11:19 PM
    What Do You Think Is the Best Way to Realize Your Own Worth?
    Hi, All!

    The question might also be - What do you think that it takes for a person to realize their own worth? Or, maybe even - What do you think in general, are the possibilities for a segment of a population to realize their own worth?

    I almost put this in the Philosophy forum topic area, but decided that it would get noticed more and provide more positive value to people in this forum topic area.

    Is it doing what you want without other people telling you what to do?

    Having a job that you find satisfying and where you're gainfully employed?

    Thinking it to noble to wait until you get married to have sex?

    Being married and being able to bring children into the world, in one way or another, and being able to nurture them in a positive and proactive way?

    Being able to be single and being able to bring children into the world, in one way or another?

    Having the ability to and being successful at having a gay or lesbian partner?

    Knowing that others appreciate your thoughts and deeds, not because you might be some leader, be rich or be some sort of great thinker, but just by being you?

    Having high moral values and sticking to them, even when others might not agree with you, but where there are others who do agree with you?

    Being able to have and maintain a lot of friendships or, just a few?

    Realizing that you do have worth, even though some things in the world might be working not in your favor?

    Being able to be rich in monetary wealth?

    Having the ability to be able to buy a lot of things?

    Feeling secure with what you believe as far as your particular religion is concerned? It doesn't have to involve being religious in the denominational or God sense, but maybe about that which you feel religious. For instance, Sigmund Freud was an atheist, but he was quite religious about what he believed. There certainly were others too, who didn't believe in some kind of deity, but none the less were very religious about what they believed and pursued in life.

    Being sincere and having others agree with you? Be careful here, though! Adolph Hitler was very sincere about what he believed!

    Having to be alone and realize that you really aren't alone? That there is always someone who cares, and if needed would be your friend and look after and help you and maybe join with you, in one way or another down the path through life?

    Knowing that if it was only one person who you helped in a day, in a good and legal way, that you made a positive difference and contribution to the world?

    Knowing what love is and that it's not possible to be friends with everyone?

    Having the ability to be able to be friends with everyone?

    Realizing that, when the day is done, and knowing that you've done your best and looking forward to trying your best to do the best that you can on the next day?

    Being able to help another person or people to realize their own worth?

    The list of questions could go on and on...

    Perhaps you might have your own questions to add to the list?

    What do you think and feel, please?

    Thanks! :)
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Apr 7, 2010, 02:13 PM
    Any takers here? I know that people have at least been looking at the original post.
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #3

    Apr 7, 2010, 06:06 PM

    Understanding who you really are and being entirely happy about it. The road to that place varies from person to person. All of the things you mention can be useful stepping stones along that journey but I don't think there is any one-size-fits-all formula that works for everyone.

    That's my initial thought - may consider it more later.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #4

    Apr 7, 2010, 08:56 PM

    Among many of the items that you mentioned Clough I would add that personally it is an intrinsic feeling of contentment and happiness for me. Those things give me confidence and help me realize that life is so much more than what we may have accumulated.

    I too will give this more thought and will respond further later.

    Great thread buddy.

    Stringer
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #5

    Apr 7, 2010, 09:34 PM
    Ah! You finally found it, Stringer!

    I was hoping that you would come along here! :)
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #6

    Apr 7, 2010, 09:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by QLP View Post
    Understanding who you really are and being entirely happy about it. The road to that place varies from person to person. All of the things you mention can be useful stepping stones along that journey but I don't think there is any one-size-fits-all formula that works for everyone.

    That's my initial thought - may consider it more later.
    Hi, QLP!

    Thank you for your contribution and I do hope that you'll contribute again, based upon further thought about the matter!

    I'm not so sure that a person realizing their own worth is based upon a feeling or thinking of being happy, though.

    Just my thoughts...
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #7

    Apr 8, 2010, 06:18 AM

    I think what I mean is being totally accepting of who you are, faults and all when I said being entirely happy about it.

    For instance you can do something good for someone else, which may help raise yourself worth, but there are different reasons for doing it. You might want to look good to other people. You might be trying to earn praise. You might expect something nice doing back. However if you do it because it is something that really matters to you, from the heart, then I think that is rewarding in itself regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

    So when we act from the true core of ourselves, that we have come to understand and accept that gives everything we do the greatest integrity and meaning.

    Still not quite what I want to say but a bit closer.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #8

    Apr 8, 2010, 01:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Among many of the items that you mentioned Clough I would add that personally it is an intrinsic feeling of contentment and happiness for me. Those things give me confidence and help me realize that life is so much more than what we may have accumulated.

    I too will give this more thought and will respond further later.

    Great thread buddy.

    Stringer
    I look forward to your further input here, Stringer!

    We both tend to think along the same lines...

    I know that you know that!

    Thanks!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #9

    Apr 8, 2010, 01:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by QLP View Post
    I think what I mean is being totally accepting of who you are, faults and all when I said being entirely happy about it.

    For instance you can do something good for someone else, which may help raise your self worth, but there are different reasons for doing it. You might want to look good to other people. You might be trying to earn praise. You might expect something nice doing back. However if you do it because it is something that really matters to you, from the heart, then I think that is rewarding in itself regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

    So when we act from the true core of ourselves, that we have come to understand and accept that gives everything we do the greatest integrity and meaning.

    Still not quite what I want to say but a bit closer.
    Excellent thoughts and input by you, QLP!

    It's a tough question that can be open to a lot of different answers as well as interpretations as to what might be the "correct" answer!

    Thanks!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #10

    Apr 8, 2010, 02:00 PM
    Any other takers here?
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #11

    Apr 8, 2010, 06:05 PM

    Just something to add to your list. Forgiveness.

    It must be a rare person who goes through life without someone hurting them but forgiveness is a gift to yourself as well as to the person you forgive.

    Also a thought on mention of Hitler. He wasn't so much sincere as fanatical and self-deluded. I mean he didn't exactly fit the physical ideals he idolised himself did he? If he had been sincere about getting rid of those he deemed inferior he would end up putting himself on the hit-list. Someone who can find that much hatred for other people must have a lot of self-loathing tucked away somewhere.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #12

    Apr 8, 2010, 08:15 PM
    Definitely excellent thoughts by you here, QLP!

    Forgiveness, to me, is something that might come from a mind that dwells in the divine. As such, few people can truly say that they "forgive" someone in the divine sense of the word.

    Concerning Hitler - Although it's a matter of conjecture and opinion, I still think that he was very sincere about what he did. Self-delusioned and fanatical people can still be really sincere.

    Thanks!
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    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #13

    Apr 9, 2010, 02:59 AM

    We could debate the motivations and mind-set of Hitler till the cows come home, as historians have done and continue to do.

    I suppose it's a question of semantics to a degree in relation to this particualar discussion.

    If we take the view than Hitler really believed, with deep religious conviction, that he was doing the right thing and ridding the world of a great evil, and there is much debate as to his true motives, then we could deem that sincere.

    However, there are schizophrenics who really believe they are God, serial killers who really believe they are on a divine mission to murder, paedophiles who are convinced that having sex with children is perfectly valid.

    Their beliefs can be said to be sincere since they are not pretending. However, whilst sincere is defined as unfeigned, it is also defined as pure, unadulterated and the same in reality as in appearance. Siince the above examples are about people whose views are coloured by a completely unrealistic view of the world can they be said to be pure and unadulterated? The madman's view of reality is of course distorted - so do we accept his version of reality and allow for his actons to be called sincere or step back and see the world as it really is and call his actions deluded?

    Like I said semantics. As to whether sincerity should be on the list, well that depends on exactly what one means by sincerity.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #14

    Apr 9, 2010, 12:33 PM
    I mean being sincere in the simple way of understanding it, QLP.

    Thanks!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #15

    Apr 9, 2010, 07:05 PM
    Well, I gave the original question much thought and creativity. Was hoping for more responses to it.

    A difficult and perhaps daunting question. But, it's one that all of us have to eventually face.

    Thanks!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #16

    Apr 9, 2010, 07:27 PM

    Realizing the possesions you have in life... the material things are not important.. being kind, being able to say.. "I'm sorry" and really mean it.

    Admitting when you are wrong and looking into your heart to find the person you want to be. Looking into the eyes of your children and being so proud because you know you were a good parent.

    Looking at your husband and thinking "I wouldn't change a thing about him. and telling him everyday, "I love you.'

    Laying my head on my pillow at night and thanking God for everything he has blessed me with. I can honestly look in the mirror and see a few wrinkles and a few gray hairs and being glad, because I earned them. They are symbol of the things I have overcome in my life.

    I wouldn't change anything, because they have made me who I am and I'm proud of me. Thanks Clough!
    Clough's Avatar
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    #17

    Apr 9, 2010, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Realizing
    Okay. The word speaks volumes in and of itself!

    Would you care to expand on that, Kit?

    I'm so glad that you happened along here! :)
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    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #18

    Apr 9, 2010, 08:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Okay. The word speaks volumes in and of itself!

    Would you care to expand on that, Kit?

    I'm so glad that you happened along here! :)
    Realizing.. We can work our fingers to the bone and miss out on so many things, by trying to get to the top and what do we have when we get them? They become more important than than anything. I realized
    When I was younger it's not material things that make you happy.


    I have seen people who put mor emphasis on being in the social circle than being themselves. Realizing it's up to you or me to find what the important things in our lives are. A hundred years from now what's it going to matter if we were CEO of a company or what kind of car we drive. Self awareness is when we realize the mistakes we we make in our lives and learn from them.
    People can be be millionaires and still have an emptiness in their heart.

    I have always worked hard and so has my husband and my home is a nice one not a mansion on a hill or anything like that, I call it home.

    There has always been a lot of love and laughter and some tears. A place my friends can come and kick their shoes off and talk about anything and my grandkids feel like they have a place to come where there are allowed to be kids. My house was full of kids when my children were here.

    I have my own beliefs about God and I would die for those beliefs if I had too. I realize I am worth something every time my mom says she loves me or when my brothers and sisters still call me baby girl. I realize I may not be beautiful or highly educated... but God made me, and he doesn't make any junk... Thanks Clough:)
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #19

    Apr 10, 2010, 12:16 AM
    Originally Posted by Clough
    Okay. The word speaks volumes in and of itself!

    Would you care to expand on that, Kit?

    I'm so glad that you happened along here!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Realizing.. We can work our fingers to the bone and miss out on so many things, by trying to get to the top and what do we have when we get them? They become more important than than anything. I realized
    When I was younger it's not material things that make you happy.

    I have seen people who put more emphasis on being in the social circle than being themselves. Realizing it's up to you or me to find what the important things in our lives are. A hundred years from now what's it going to matter if we were CEO of a company or what kind of car we drive. Self awareness is when we realize the mistakes we we make in our lives and learn from them.
    People can be be millionaires and still have an emptiness in their heart.

    I have always worked hard and so has my husband and my home is a nice one not a mansion on a hill or anything like that, I call it home.

    There has always been a lot of love and laughter and some tears. A place my friends can come and kick their shoes off and talk about anything and my grandkids feel like they have a place to come where there are allowed to be kids. My house was full of kids when my children were here.

    I have my own beliefs about God and I would die for those beliefs if I had too. I realize I am worth something every time my mom says she loves me or when my brothers and sisters still call me baby girl. I realize I may not be beautiful or highly educated... but God made me, and he doesn't make any junk... Thanks Clough:)
    People can be be millionaires and still have an emptiness in their heart.
    Ain't that the truth! I work for those types of people all the time!

    You still have your mom? My mom left this world in 1997. I played, sang and spoke at her funeral.

    Very noble thoughts by you! Please do continue! You're safe on this thread!

    Love,

    Clough
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    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #20

    Apr 10, 2010, 10:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Ain't that the truth! I work for those types of people all the time!

    You still have your mom? My mom left this world in 1997. I played, sang and spoke at her funeral.

    Very noble thoughts by you! Please do continue! You're safe on this thread!

    Love,

    Clough




    My mom has dialysis three times a week. We each take a day to go with her.. I see these people coming in by C-Trans or an ambulances they have family but they are too busy to come with them. Self awareness is feeling like you are the parent to your mom, because she doesn't want you to leave her there . So you stay and you see her give you that beautiful smile when you sit down out in the waiting area with a book and a thermos of coffee.

    Self awareness is talking to an older man who sits there after his treatment for at least two hours until his retired son finishes his golf game. You find out what his favorite books are and sit there with him when he goes back in the past and tells about his days as a professor.. A true Southern Gentleman. I look forward to his stories and I realize he enjoys his conversations with me and he corrects my words sometimes.
    He also calls me Caroline, who was his daughter.

    I realize my whole family have fallen under his spell.. He has grown to realize I care about him.When my brothers or sisters go with my mom he'll ask about me and wonder why I'm not there. It's not a chore it's a blessing. God has given me the words to make him open up to me. I realize there are more important things in life than thinking only about myself. He is eighty two and he has been on dialysis for a long time.

    Life is so short... I hope I have been a help to him:)

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