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    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #41

    Apr 21, 2010, 05:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Now stick with the NC and start moving on so you can heal.

    Forget being friends-forever.

    He is a jerk.
    You but after that phone call and I was very emotional and sent a kind of a goodbye message it said "dont be mad this is hard on me too! im doing this because i love you and im only getting hurt this way. i gave you the choice of trying again you turned it down. u made your choice because it it easier on you i made mine because i need to make things easier on me! im sorry it has to be like this but remember i will always love you no matter what happened between us! take care of yourself and i really wish you the best for the future and that you find someone that makes you as happy as you did me.goodbye and i love you!" woznt that the most stupid and pathetic message ever I so regret saying all that now so what do I do
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #42

    Apr 21, 2010, 05:28 AM

    You do nothing.

    You stick to a dignified silence as of right now.
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #43

    Apr 21, 2010, 05:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    You do nothing.

    You stick to a dignified silence as of right now.
    OK and that's a promise I couldn't take anymore of it really but was that a really stupid message to send? Does he now think that he has the upper hand
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #44

    Apr 21, 2010, 05:40 AM

    Don't beat yourself up about it.

    It doesn't matter what he thinks anymore.

    Concentrate on you and your own life now.

    Leave him in the past.
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #45

    Apr 21, 2010, 05:48 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Dont beat yourself up about it.

    It doesnt matter what he thinks anymore.

    Concentrate on you and your own life now.

    Leave him in the past.

    So I guess being silent says more dan speaking..?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #46

    Apr 21, 2010, 07:34 AM

    Silence speaks volumes when you don't want to be bothered by some one else's BS!

    Stick to your decision, to move on, and get beyond this. Even the money is not as important as your healing.
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #47

    Apr 28, 2010, 05:06 PM

    I have been getting on so much better since I've totally cut him from my life! I'm so much happier already and actually making a life for myself thanks to all of ye for yere help! I have been friends with this guy for a while not very good friends but we are in a group of friends that all go out together. Last weekend we kissed (along with the help of our friends trying to set us up) and he has been texting me every day since non stop! My friends tell me he is a really nice guy and treats girls very well! I know I definitely like him as a friend so should I give him a chance and see how things work out or is it way to early for me! I don't know I am a bit confused
    sabrewolfe's Avatar
    sabrewolfe Posts: 420, Reputation: 96
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    #48

    Apr 28, 2010, 05:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by orlae View Post
    i have been getting on so much better since iv totally cut him from my life! im so much happier already and actually making a life for myself thanks to all of ye for yere help! i have been friends with this guy for a while not very good friends but we are in a group of friends that all go out together. last weekend we kissed (along with the help of our friends trying to set us up) and he has been texting me every day since non stop! my friends tell me he is a really nice guy and treats girls very well! i know i definately like him as a friend so should i give him a chance and see how things work out or is it way to early for me! i dont know i am a bit confused
    I think you need to slow yourself down a bit, and get things figured out. Your jumping right into something else way too fast. When we do that, we often don't consider all of the problems that can come from it. You could end up rushing too fast and finding yourself in another relationship that your unsure about, and hurting someone else. It might be an emotional band-aid for now, but consider the consequences.
    You need time heal and put things into perspective.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #49

    Apr 28, 2010, 10:26 PM

    Heal from the past before you consider getting involved with somebody new.

    Rebounds aren't fair on the new person.

    Enjoy life,make new friends,but make sure you are over the ex and happy single before you start thinking about a new guy.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #50

    Apr 28, 2010, 10:34 PM

    Have fun without the emotional attachments. That's why you go very slow, enjoy getting to know someone new, and make friends, not lovers.

    The last thing you need is a relationship to replace the old on (rebound). Enjoy being single, and meet a LOT of new people, and do a lot of fun things.
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #51

    Jul 5, 2010, 03:16 PM
    Met a new guy!
    4 and a half months after breaking up from a 3 year relationship I've actually met someone that I actually like again! Only thing is the meeting new people is still new to me especially after being out of practice for 3 years! We met in a night club two weekends ago, we have been texting and met twice since! So far I have been leaving him to do the contacting first do I keep it this way or should I make the first move every now and again?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #52

    Jul 5, 2010, 03:26 PM

    No need to overthink it. If you want to talk to him, then contact him. If you don't want to talk to him, then don't.

    No need to play mind games at your age.

    As for breaking up recently. No need to get overly eager with a new guy. Just go with the flow and enjoy your conversations while getting to know each other better. NO need to jump the gun for him to be a new potential boyfriend so quickly.
    ang8884's Avatar
    ang8884 Posts: 4, Reputation: 3
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    #53

    Jul 8, 2010, 04:49 AM
    Enjoy being single while you are, there's no rush to get back in a relationship. Im telling that to myself at the moment after leaving my boyfriend 3 months ago, his already got a new girlfriend 8 yrs younger and already living together.
    Enjoy the single time I say :) go with the flow and have fun
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #54

    Jul 15, 2010, 04:46 PM

    You its not that I even want him to be my boyfriend or anything its just a bit weird meeting new people again! But you ye ar right thanks guys
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #55

    Jul 15, 2010, 05:04 PM

    After 2 months of telling my ex where to go, I had heard absolutely nothing from him until about 3 weeks ago! He rang me twice at 2 o clock in the morning but I didn't answer and then I got a message saying that he hoped that he didn't wake me that he had been thinking about me all day and just wanted to chat! I didn't reply even though I felt bad I just didn't want to get back into all that again! About 4 days later he rang me again but this time on private number so I would answer, we just chatted for a few minutes but that was it! A week later he rang me again for another chat. About nothing major just general how are you keeping stuff!he then text me asking me how I was yesterday but I didn't reply, we are not together any more and I had nothing to say to him so I didn't see the point but when I didn't text back he rang me AGAIN tonight just wondering did I get his message yesterday! I'm confused because I don't know why he is contacting me like this again! I definitely would never get back with him again as I'm doing so well without him and I'm very happy again but is it a bad step being friends again!
    orlae's Avatar
    orlae Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #56

    Aug 17, 2010, 11:30 AM
    Do I trust an ex?
    Threads merged


    I've recently started a new relationship! He is one of the nicest fellas I've ever met! He has total respect for me and we have the best fun together!I genuinely really like him. However recently my ex has been texting me saying that he is really sorry for the break up that he is taking total blame for it. Says he has realised what he has done wrong and that he has changed and that he wants to give us another go! I told him that I am in another relationship now and that I can't he got very upset over it begging me to give us another go. I told him that I couldn't risk been hurt again by him and that I would never trust him again. He told me that he would do things different this time and that I could trust him and that I bearly know this new fella that I was with him for three years that he should mean more to him! He says he has changed but should I trust an ex that has hurt me before?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #57

    Aug 17, 2010, 01:23 PM

    NO, absolutely not! Why ruin a NEW relationship by trying to be friends with an ex who promises to change. He is just sucking you in, and wants to undermine your new relationship.

    Do you really need that misery... AGAIN! Back to NO CONTACT with him.

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