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    sophiasmom2005's Avatar
    sophiasmom2005 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 4, 2010, 02:08 PM
    What do I do when my man cant get off
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months. When we first slept together he was able to finish and a couple times after that now he will get soft in the middle of it or we will go for hours without him finishing or I will have him put in a porn and finish it himself. It makes me fell like I don't satify him is there anyhting I can do to change it?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 4, 2010, 02:34 PM

    How old is he? When was the last time he had a check up? Does he have any know health or stress issues that may be impacting his performance?

    Is he trying to have intercourse too close to the last time he masturbated? Is he giving himself 'recharge' time?
    story-love's Avatar
    story-love Posts: 54, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 4, 2010, 02:40 PM

    I think you should try spice up things, try new things, ask him what he's into, if you don't know. Tease him :)
    Sean Crane's Avatar
    Sean Crane Posts: 10, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Mar 4, 2010, 02:56 PM

    2 months? Why even waste energy on the issue, dump him.
    Those kind of issues are only worth discussing and solving in a serious loving longtime relationships.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #5

    Mar 4, 2010, 03:32 PM

    Sean Crane,

    No. Wrong answer.

    She isn't wanting to end the relationship, or change the status of the relationship. They are asking for help on a sexual issue. It sounds as if she wants to stay in this relationship.

    I think Cat1864 is approaching this the right way. Identify and fix the problem. You wouldn't through out your '77 charger because it had a fuel line issue would you? You would fix the fuel line.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Mar 4, 2010, 10:28 PM
    How long do you think it takes you to reach orgasm?

    Do you take positions that are better for you? Do you feel comfortable doing this?

    I know the question is about him... but lets start with what you need and want and what works for you...
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Mar 5, 2010, 12:36 AM
    Maybe the place to start is a conversation?

    Sex often begins in the head - is he distracted, is there chemistry between you? Does he feel under pressure?

    Sure you can dress up in sexy lingerie, act like a porn star or walk round naked with your hair on fire but, hey, why don't you try talking to him?

    I suspect that you won't get very far unless you do.
    Larken85's Avatar
    Larken85 Posts: 696, Reputation: 146
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    Mar 5, 2010, 05:19 AM

    I believe it may be a sensory issue. His penis may be desensatised due to over masturbation. You may also notice his drive decreased slightly due to this. But he may not really even be able to feel anything because he has put far too much pressure on himself when going solo. Then there is emotional pressure to perform that could have continued to stop him, and the stress of the frustration in your eyes when he gives up may also be too much for him. Be supportive and do not ask "Whats wrong with you?" Don't ask, "Is your penis broken?" Be nice and nurturing. If he has to get off to porn, there is a problem. He needs to maybe talk to his doctor. That is if the only way he can climax is to masterbate. Maybe the sex is too often and his penis hurts... or perhaps he just isn't really that in to sex or is lacking exp. There could be several number of things that could go wrong. Maybe he is scared of something or stressed or worried. All things that can effectively stop am man in his... stride...

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