[Skell]

You shouldn't need to meet another to be happy.

Just give it time and go through the loneliness and you will learn so much about yourself and pretty soon you will enjoy being alone.

[wontbez]

I think getting out with friends is probably the fastest way to start feeling better, some friends and I started to go bowling twice a week and during that time I never think of my ex. I also started volunteering one day a week, I chose the red cross doing local disaster action work and it's really put a lot of things in prospective. Think about taking a class you've always wanted to take at a local community college or check out the public library and read that book you always said you would. For some going to the gym helps. Find the post on here "movies to watch after a breakup" after watching a few of those you might start feeling better right away.

Avoid calling your ex for a while, you're more then likely going to sound desperate and it won't get you far. Just focus on you right now, take this time to really understand what it is you want and then go get it.

[Jiser]

If you don't have a life, get one! :P

I just got in to work I spent the evening on the piss with work friends and stayed at one of the company directors spare flat. So point if someone asks you to do something do it! I am always busy so do not have allot time to think about the ex. I keep myself active and make sure I have an active social circle and plenty of things to do on weekends etc. If you sit around at home doing nothing, who's fault is that? No one but yourself.

[Krs]

Hi guys.

Silly thought it sounds I am finding being single hard and have a desire to call my ex ! Guess I am finding it hard because I have not met another.

Any advice on dealing with this ?

Keep yourself busy!
Join a gym, find yourself a hobby and build up a busy schedule. Keeps your mind off things :)

[where did i go wrong]

I'm feeling exactly the same way today... (must be the weather!)

Its not the fact that I miss my ex and want her back, I think I just miss having the connection with someone, somebody to hug when your feeling a bit down, somebody to call and just talk about nothing for hours when your bored...
Sometimes it feels as thogh the only way to escape the empty feeling is to sleep, but then you dream about her and it makes you feel worse...

Its hard and I think that there is nothing you can do to make it go away, keeping busy helps, but you always go back to thinking about her...
All I know is calling her WILL NOT help, just give it time, we will eventually get used to, and enjoy, our own company (I hope)

[Jiser]

I am having a great time with myself, more fun than I ever did with the ex. Yeh it sux not having anyone to cuddle up with etc but jees common lighten up. You only got one life though so why be sad? Give it some time ye all who been dumped, you will find after a few months that your OK with life, doesn't mean you won't miss her but it doesn't matter because your be one happy fella :)

[Geoffersonairplane]

You shouldnt need to meet another to be happy.

Just give it time and go through the loneliness and you will learn so much about yourself and pretty soon you will enjoy being alone.

Skell made a good point here, you should not need another person to make you happy. Find yourself again 4answers and soon enough you will enjoy being single. If it is of any comfort to you, I am beginning to enjoy my single life again after 7 months post breakup. Its just a matter of riding the emotional rollercoaster, keeping busy, working on yourself. Find new hobbies, work hard!

Improve your image, perhaps change it and you find that your confidence grows again!!

Loneliness does not last forever after a breakup. Once you relight your fire again and get busy living, you realise that you are less alone than you think!

[4answers]

Just found out my ex has got married ! This hurts especially since I tried to get her back. It feels like I was deceived over the relationship because it meant nothing to her.

I guess deep down I always hoped there was still some sort of feeling there, regret perhaps…. But obviously not ! Ouch.

[jjwoodhull]

Be happy that you found out. Now you can truly put her behind you. While you are spending time dwelling on her, the right person is out there waiting for you...

[Romefalls19]

Sorry about it, but better you find out now. How long have you two been broken up?

[hjpan]

I am sorry for your loss =/

[heartbrokenguy]

Sorry man, I think it will make you to move on with your life much easier now. I am having nightmares every night that my ex girlfriend getting married and I wake up with tears running down my eyes :(. I know exactly the feelings. I think, almost all of us here, would hear the same bad news about our exes soon or later :(.

[h0llister]

There's someone better waiting for you and you just haven't met her yet and when you do u will be so glad you didn't get back with your ex :)

[talaniman]

That should be the end of that! Sorry for your loss!

[Jason8676]

4answers,
Hey, I know the feeling and it sucks. I had to go through the same thing over 8 years ago when I found out that the love of my life was getting married and it was through the Community section of the newspaper in the marriage license listings while at work. I sort of had a feeling something was amiss in the weeks leading up to seeing that just in the way she was treating me-not wanting to reconcile, emotionally distant on the phone, etc. I went no contact during those several weeks. The guy she married was a total loser from what she told me about him while we were together but she just had a change of heart because he asked her to marry him first several years before I popped the question. It hit me like a ton of bricks but I was able to keep my chin up and get through the rest of the day. To make a long story short, the marriage crumbled within the course of several months and she came crawling back to me. Since that time, me and her got closer and closer, talked about getting married, had a child, and for a time I could see myself with nobody else but her. I sort of thought it was God's way of saying that we were meant for each other when she came back after things looked hopeless. WRONG! Me and her split just about this time last year. She just decided to walk away to see what else was out there if there ever was a theory to fit the scenario. She has a history of mental illness which put her in the hospital several times(she sort of reminds me of the character "Claudia" on the television show "Dynasty" lol). I backed off any immediate plans to marry her because I wanted to give her time to adjust. Marriage is not all sunshine and lollipops-there are going to be ups and downs and I didn't feel she was ready. God only knows why she decided to walk. I've been in no contact with her for over 4 months now and do not plan on trying to reenter her life in any way, shape, or form. If she marries again, I won't know about it. I look at it as though she died and she's not coming back. Just hang in there-it's not the end of the world. Don't ever contact her again and look at it as your cue to move on. Somebody better is out there.
Take Care,
Jason

[hjpan]

4answers,
Hey, I know the feeling and it sucks. I had to go through the same thing over 8 years ago when I found out that the love of my life was getting married and it was through the Community section of the newspaper in the marriage license listings while at work. I sort of had a feeling something was amiss in the weeks leading up to seeing that just in the way she was treating me-not wanting to reconcile, emotionally distant on the phone, etc. I went no contact during those several weeks. The guy she married was a total loser from what she told me about him while we were together but she just had a change of heart because he asked her to marry him first several years before I popped the question. It hit me like a ton of bricks but I was able to keep my chin up and get through the rest of the day. To make a long story short, the marriage crumbled within the course of several months and she came crawling back to me. Since that time, me and her got closer and closer, talked about getting married, had a child, and for a time I could see myself with nobody else but her. I sort of thought it was God's way of saying that we were meant for eachother when she came back after things looked hopeless. WRONG! Me and her split just about this time last year. She just decided to walk away to see what else was out there if there ever was a theory to fit the scenario. She has a history of mental illness which put her in the hospital several times(she sort of reminds me of the character "Claudia" on the television show "Dynasty" lol). I backed off of any immediate plans to marry her because I wanted to give her time to adjust. Marriage is not all sunshine and lollipops-there are going to be ups and downs and I didn't feel she was ready. God only knows why she decided to walk. I've been in no contact with her for over 4 months now and do not plan on trying to reenter her life in any way, shape, or form. If she marries again, I won't know about it. I look at it as though she died and she's not coming back. Just hang in there-it's not the end of the world. Don't ever contact her again and look at it as your cue to move on. Somebody better is out there.
Take Care,
Jason

Thank you for sharing your personal story!

[4answers]

Thank you guys. This was the girl who stated she wanted to marry me, we argue'd and agreed to split for a while. She said she had her eye on someone. I asked if she was seeing him? She said no. So I asked her back out. It was a crushing no ? And now she is married.

[Guidostern]

Just stay strong... like holister said, there is someone better for you. It sounds like this all happened pretty fast just judged on how it took you by surprise. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but you'll be able to move on... just keep your head up and your shoulders back... the world likes it when you stand tall.

[brokenhearted1515]

This is my worst fear. I know it will happen one day though. I am sooo sorry for your loss. Take care. Keep your chin up.

[4answers]

When I was with her she wanted marriage, but I was scared, didn't communicate this to her because I did not recognize this. We parted and remained friends. During that period 1 year, she tried to get back together but I thought it was not the right thing to do. (I suspect she met someone) but she told me she had her eye on someone. I asked if she was seeing him and she said no. So I thought all is not lost and asked about us getting back together. She said No. When I asked about the time we spent together she said it had just been fun!! Eh? I could not handle this.

My question is this: If the person wanted to marry me and we split then yes the person may not be happy about this. But I never cheated or went with anyone else, I was just unsure. I came back before she was in another relationship, because I asked her and she said no! Surly if this was the person who you wanted to marry then you would be pleased that they are back in your life? You would at least consider it? How could it mean nothing?

Because of her reaction I went to pieces and acted in a bad way. I suppose I pushed her towards this new guy instead of attracting her to me. I wrote and told her my feelings, that I was handling things badly, addressing these and apologized. But this did no good.

-- As you can now imagine, it hurts that it meant nothing to her ! How could I have been so deceived? --