[lkwkatydid]

He has lost his wife and kids. Moved in with me now for 6 months. My life a living hell. Gets so drunk that he pees all over everything. I don't allow drinking but he leaves and comes back this drunk. Hides vodka all over my place. I can't take any more. Please, someone help or give me some kind of answer.

[justcurious55]

It sounds like he's an alcoholic. There's little more you can do then show him some tough love. You might have to consider ultimatums, like he either seeks treatment or moves out.

[DrBill100]

You should consider contacting an Al-Anon group in your area. There you will be exposed to people with problems similar to your own, i.e. living with an alcoholic. These groups are free and useful. A good starting point. I'm sure you can find one near you on line or in your local phone book.

[jmjoseph]

Your son needs to go to a hospital or rehabilitation facility. He needs to be detoxed, have a lengthy stay at rehab, and get into Alcoholics Anonymous. Like DrBill100 mentioned, YOU need to go to a Alanon meeting for support. It's anonymous, worldwide, and free. It will save your sanity.

You have a tough row to hoe. I hope you are ready for what you are about to go through.

He has lost everything, and still doesn't see the damage that he is causing. This is the hardest part about getting someone into recovery.

You should organize a intervention. Get all of his loved ones to be involved.

People have different "bottoms". He has to get to a point where he WANTS to get better.

In the meanwhile, stop enabling him. Make him clean up his own pee stained mess. Who buys the vodka? Does he still have a job?

Put your foot down, and let him know that you will not help him kill himself.

God bless you.

[trudger67]

Just let him know that if he wants to stay with you, then it is an alcohol free environment (that includes being drunk). If he does turn up drunk, you will be ringing the police. If he wants to drink, he will have to live elsewhere. If he wants to stay, but doesn't know how to be sober, then contact AA and/or rehab, and get yourself into Alanon because he sounds like a sick alcoholic, but you are sick too because you have been putting up with it. Go well.

[0rphan]

This is a very sad and desperate situation,which I see every day during the coarse of my work.

The problem is that each achoholic doesn't think they have a problem, until you can get them to admitt to it, it's a long up hill battle.

They will all make promises and at the time perhaps believe what they are saying,then half an hour later will be doing what they always do, turn to yet another bottle.

In my experience it takes an admission to hospital due to over indulgence of achohol causing the person to colapse, whilst in hospital they are given an ultimatum... dry out or your liver will stop working and you will die... this usually works for a short time, then something happens, a stressful situation they can't cope with or a mate invites them down the local for a swift half which ofcoarse turns into several pints... and the whole situation is back where it started.

All of the above advice is absolutely correct, but whilst he is in his state of mind you will not get him to respond to the simplist of requests, he is not himself.

Primarily he needs a reason to stop,something must have put him in this self destruct mode, the fact that he has lost everything just compounds his problem,in his eyes he sees no future, no point in living etc,etc...

I would say that the only ones who may get through to him are his children.
Obviously they need the situation explained to them... the fact that daddy is ill and needs their help to get better...

I'm presuming that he does still see them.. under supervision.

Perhaps you could talk to your daughter in law, explain that you need her support in a bid to help put him on the right path for recovery.

I know most people in this situation would rather keep their distance,saying just let him get on with it... I can totally understand that, I don't blame you, but this is an illness,he cannot control it and needs help.

It must be heart breaking for all concerned to see, my heart goes out to you all.

I think the only way to remove him from your home, is to report him for his behaviour, saying that you fear for yourself and your family,that way by removing him by force, he will have to be rehoused in a hostel or rehabilitation centre, or maybe sectioned for his own safety, it depends who deals with the case.

Take care