[tomtomclub]

I live in the state of Mississippi. I have a 16 year old daughter who is on probation who has repeatedly violated probation yet the judge seems to have no interest in enforcing the probation that he himself imposed. What can I do as a parent to get him to enforce the probation. My daughter is completely out of control and I feel the only way she is ever going to get the discipline she so desperately needs is for her to have to face the consequences of her actions. Please give me some guidance!

[Kegan]

There is little (nothing?) you can do to compel the Judge. Have you spoken to the Probation Officer? Can they lower the boom on her- i.e more frequent reporting, community service hours on weekends, etc.

Short of locking her up, frankly there is little that they can do that you can not do yourself. Take away money, cars, etc. Strip her room of everything that she has except what the state require you provide (clean clothes, food, shelter). No Wii, Ipod, TV, makeup, etc. Add the 'goodies' back in as she behaves. Yes it's tough, but basically it is what you are asking the Judge to do.

[this8384]

I live in the state of Mississippi. I have a 16 year old daughter who is on probation who has repeatedly violated probation yet the judge seems to have no interest in enforcing the probation that he himself imposed. What can i do as a parent to get him to enforce the probation. My daughter is completely out of control and i feel the only way she is ever going to get the discipline she so desperately needs is for her to have to face the consequences of her actions. Please give me some guidance!

What is she doing to violate her probation exactly? Are you contacting her probation officer when she violates?

[tomtomclub]

She is destroying property in my home(TV, chair, bedroom furniture and knocking holes in the wall) and she runs away from time to time yet I'm required to let he back in when she decides to come back.

[babysaver]

Do you call law enforcement when she starts destroying stuff? I feel for you because teens who think that they run their homes are exceptionally difficult to live with.

[this8384]

She is destroying property in my home(TV, chair, bedroom furniture and knocking holes in the wall) and she runs away from time to time yet i'm required to let he back in when she decides to come back.

So call the police and have her arrested for domestic disturbance. And yes, you do have to let her back because she is a minor and is your responsibility.

Why don't you send her to boot camp? Clearly nothing else is working.

[tomtomclub]

Yes! I've called the police out a total of 7 times within the last year. She has served a total of 25 days in a detention center but it hasn't phased her one bit. The last time we went before the judge he stated that I need to stop calling law enforcement and simply "work it out" with her. We are currently seeing a family therapist but that seems to have no affect at all. When she runs away, that is a direct violation of her probation and nothing is done. She has skipped school(violation) and nothing is done. She has threatened me and my other 2 minor children with bodily harm, yet nothing is done. When I told the police that the next time she runs away, I'll simply refuse to allow her back in, I was told I would be arrested for child abandonment! It's the most bizarre situation I have ever seen encountered! I'm living with a terrorist, yet law enforcement says I pretty much just have to grin and bear it.

[this8384]

Yes! I've called the police out a total of 7 times within the last year. She has served a total of 25 days in a detention center but it hasn't phased her one bit. The last time we went before the judge he stated that i need to stop calling law enforcement and simply "work it out" with her. We are currently seeing a family therapist but that seems to have no affect at all. When she runs away, that is a direct violation of her probation and nothing is done. She has skipped school(violation) and nothing is done. She has threatened me and my other 2 minor children with bodily harm, yet nothing is done. When i told the police that the next time she runs away, i'll simply refuse to allow her back in, i was told i would be arrested for child abandonment! It's the most bizarre situation i have ever seen encountered!! I'm living with a terrorist, yet law enforcement says i pretty much just have to grin and bear it.

Then I say send her to boot camp. If nobody is willing to make her suffer the consequences of her actions, let the military do it.

[tomtomclub]

I've looked into that but haven't been able to find a program that I can afford. Thanks to all that have responded. I appreciate the input.