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sloan27 · Jan 31, 2010, 01:14 AM

The mother of my daughter is very direspectful and calls my other children names I tried to bond with my daughter then her mother takes her out of my life she is now four and I haven't seen her since she was to her mother is mad cuzi don't want to be with her she is full of drama and I don't know my daughter she has another guys name and her mother tells her that that dude is her father I'm tired of the harassment she follows me around town and calls my other children names and says she hope they die and I'm tired so I want to sign my rights... what should I do?

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2010, 06:37 AM

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

Well first you should NOT have abandoned your daughter. You have rights and you should have fought for them. You also leave out the issue of whether you pay court ordered support for your daughter.

But you CANNOT sign over your rights. Only a court can grant a TPR and they are very reluctant to do so. Generally they will only do so to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent presents a danger to the child. Neither of which seems to be the case here.

Some other issues. You say she has another man's name? Were you on the birth certificate? If so, she could not legally change the name without your consent. If she is harassing you and making threats like that. Carry around one of these small video cameras. If she does this, you capture it on video then go to court to get a restraining order against her. You should be able to prevent her from approaching you again or have her arrested.

cdad · Jan 31, 2010, 07:19 AM

The right thing to do is to stand up for your daughter and not just walk away. I agree with what Scott is saying. And no you can't just sign away rights. If you are the father then your obligated for the lifetime of the child. Since you already have children you should understand that.. unless you don't want them either. That's where your heading if you try to sign away one they might just take them all.

babysaver · Jan 31, 2010, 07:43 AM

It's really interesting to read the responses from those of you who live in other states regarding relinquishment of parental rights. I am almost embarrassed how easy it is for a parent to relinquish their parental rights in my state.

cdad · Jan 31, 2010, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by babysaver

It's really interesting to read the responses from those of you who live in other states regarding relinquishment of parental rights. I am almost embarrassed how easy it is for a parent to relinquish their parental rights in my state.

Since we are in the Law Board. Got proof ? Can you post the law that makes it so easy or post links to it ?

I find it hard to believe its easy anywhere.

babysaver · Jan 31, 2010, 08:01 AM

I will find out tomorrow at work to see if it is my entire state or just our county that makes it so easy. It really bugs me how easy it is in my state but again maybe it's just my county. One of the mothers we are working with called me at the office to let me know her plan was to relinquish her rights and give her infant to her parents. Of course her parents are fine with this. I will ask the attorneys that work with us to get the full history as to why it is so easy. Now to get your rights terminated by a judge here is very difficult. This is an issue that fascinates me so I will get some answers for my own curiosity as well as make sure I post what I find here. Thanks for being a very interesting site that makes me think about stuff rather than being just a fluffy site. I am glad I found you guys.

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2010, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by babysaver

It's really interesting to read the responses from those of you who live in other states regarding relinquishment of parental rights. I am almost embarrassed how easy it is for a parent to relinquish their parental rights in my state.

I have to echo califdad here. My research and experience tells me its not easy in any US state. I'm almost positive that a court has to grant a TPR in every state. And as far as I can tell, that's not easy to get. So I would like to know of any exceptions and the proof of them.

However, there is a caveat here. State laws vary as to whether they terminate BOTH rights and responsibilities. Some do both others only rights. In states where they terminate rights only, it is somewhat easier to get a TPR, because the parent would still be responsible for support.

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2010, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by babysaver

One of the mothers we are working with called me at the office to let me know her plan was to relinquish her rights and give her infant to her parents.

See this is part of why we are asking for specifics. It is one thing for a parent to give guardianship to her parents. This is not a difficult thing to do. Its also not difficult if the mother wants to let her parents adopt the child (assuming the father agrees). These are different scenarios then the OP.

But if you are telling us that a father, like the OP, can just sign a paper saying that he relinquishes his rights to a child. And that will work, I would have to see proof of that. This is one reason we are careful in the Law boards. Too often one person takes one situation and applies it to others.

I wanted to add here, that I have noticed some of your responses and they have generally been very good. So I don't want you to think we are coming down on you or challenging you. But we do need to make sure you are correctly citing the prevailing law.

cdad · Jan 31, 2010, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by babysaver

I will find out tomorrow at work to see if it is my entire state or just our county that makes it so easy. It really bugs me how easy it is in my state but again maybe it's just my county. One of the mothers we are working with called me at the office to let me know her plan was to relinquish her rights and give her infant to her parents. Of course her parents are fine with this. I will ask the attorneys that work with us to get the full history as to why it is so easy. Now to get your rights terminated by a judge here is very difficult. This is an issue that fascinates me so I will get some answers for my own curiosity as well as make sure I post what I find here. Thanks for being a very interesting site that makes me think about stuff rather than being just a fluffy site. I am glad I found you guys.

I think your misunderstanding what's being said and wanted by the OP. Yes its easy in most states to give up your rights when there is another person to take their place. Adoption or guardianship etc. As you stated it's the relinquishing of rights that is difficult to do.. there is no one to take the place of the parent. So yes the courts make that diffucult. The OP is not seeking to allow an adoption. They are seeking to have their rights relinquished on a voluntary basis. That's why your seeing in the respone that its just not likely to happen. Responsibility for children and their welfare is held to higher standards now then it used to be. And why should tax payers end up paying for some one else's child ? I think that you might see the BIG difference.

Thanks for posting on AMHD.