[Duluth2010]

Well first off I never thought that this would have happen to me or be asking such a question here but here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 months. I never thought I could love someone so such much as I love this girl. When I’m not with her all I do is think about her, I am totally crazy about her. Are ages are 21 and 18.

I guess I should start with a little back ground

We had took a trip together so it was just us for 5 days, which was during our four month anniversary.

The first three nights there we both had very intense fore playing going on with each other for a few hours. We were both extremely turned on as she told me that she was and I had no problem being and staying hard for those 2-3 hours. During these 3 nights I was not thinking about sex at all, I was just enjoying the moment. During the third night we both wanted to have sex but we had no condoms, so nothing happen other then about 3 hours of fore play.


The next night, now having condoms we both knew that tonight could be the night. We are both each others first so I along with her was a bit nervous. I was actually thinking about it most of the day. We started with foreplay and I was able to get hard but this time I started losing it only after 20 minutes or so. I tried along with her help me get hard again but I was not able to keep it for more then a few minutes at a time.

I know I was thinking about how I would do and how long I would last during the whole time just about so I think I was just thinking about it so much I was not able to just enjoy the moment like the other nights.



So I guess I want to know if it is me or does this sound some what normal for being nervous the for the first time?

Any help and suggestions for me for the next time we try to keep my mind clear instead of thinking of everything?

[justcurious55]

Forget about "normal." I think that you are really over thinking this :) you said it's both of your first times. She probably doesn't know anymore what she's doing than you do. And don't stress about how long you'll last.even if you finish quickly the first time, I can't imagine she would just leave. Chances are the two of you will continue having sex and it will hopefully get better and better as the two of you continue to explore and learn what each of you like best.

[Wondergirl]

Stop thinking about it (and you) so much! Think about her instead -- how nice she smells, how soft her skin is, how shiny her hair is...

[abodh]

If you think too much about it (intercourse), that happens for the first time. Samething happened to me and after I stated taking it as normal, I am good and we enjoy the sex a lot.

[Catsmine]

From the vantage of 25 years of marriage, let me assure you that these other answers are pretty much correct. Get into her. If you get into yourself not only doesn't it work as well, it's really just messy masturbation. Now go to your room and enjoy each other.

[WonderWorld48]

Same thing happened to my boyfriend and I the first time for both of us.
As a female, I of course thought it was ME and I was not "doing something right or he wasn't interested in ME ... or I just was really BAD at it ...."
{Smiling to myself} Looking back... it was ALL nerves. And it was SO normal! And really... pretty universal.

Also, it's simply a rite of passage for all us wonderfully flawed fumbling humans in love... you'd be surprised when you look back years from now to realize everyone's first is basically this same "blushing event". And that when you look back, you'll still get the butterfly nerves memory and the current "doubts or embarrassment" is replaced with a fondness and a warmth for the simple innocence of it.

What is the positive you both should focus on... is that you both feel these anxieties together. AND that is a GREAT thing!

Plain and simple... nerves are bread out of our of desire to be pleasing to another/each other. THAT is the way it should be...

Take your time... slow down... Just as your intimacy has grown in "long make out sessions"... this will also.

If the nerves get spiraling in the wrong direction, try taking a "step back" to familiar ground... talk, giggle, kiss, hug, cuddle, wrestle, snuggle... be OK with "teasing yourself" about your "fumbling"... or simply... share your feelings "I love you ..... I am nervous .... "

What I have learned is this... when I am "afraid" it's because I lack information. Fear is ALWAYS about "Unknowns"... when we ask questions and seek help of others or listen to another... we find confidence and are encouraged.

Oh, and P.S.. . God's a Wonder... since we all have this same "first time disaster story"... he made SEX FEEL AWESOME to over ride the natural instinct to "never do that again .... it was terrible!"... and yeah, it gets better every time! Good Luck to You Both!

[Duluth2010]

Everybody, Thanks for the replies. I really do believe I was really overthinking the whole thing... Thanks again for the answers!