[eries08]

I am really stuck right now and as sad as it is, I don't have many relatable people I can turn to to stuff like this, but I am having trouble deciding who I want to pursue at this point in time. My ex Alisha or my girlfriend. My ex and I dated a little while back, and I really loved her, more than anything in the entier world.. in my eyes she was perfect, and I had every intention on being with her forever. But her and I brokeup because we well, were pretty young and I think a little immature to make a relationship work. I was absolutely heartbroken when we brokeup. I would talk to my friends about how much I still love her even when I was trying to move on and was dateing other people. I never stop thinking about her. Her new boyfriend doesn't let her talk to me, he treats her badly but she won't leave him and everyone tells her to.. it kills me that she loves someone so much that treats her like . But I have a girlfriend who iv'e been dating for a couple weeks.. not long at all, but I think in time she could be the one to make me get over my ex, if I let her... but if my ex ever told me she loved me still, I wouldn't doubt that I'd be with her in that instant leaving my current girlfriend... I just can't figure out what I should do.. Keep trying to get over my ex or no matter what try and move on.. I really don't know at this point..

[amicon]

You don't get over an ex by jumping into a new relationship-you heal from the breakup and move on.
So long as you are still not over your ex you have no business being with anyone to'get over her'.
Rebounds don't work.

[pinkinterlude]

I am in this situation except I am the new girlfriend. My boyfriend of 7 months told me he wasn't over his ex of 3 years in December, although I kind of suspected. We didn't end things badly. I tried to understand and he was honest about everything from the start. I knew he hadn't done to intentionally hurt. Just bad timing. I told him he shouldn't be with me if he isn't over someone else. So we split. He still kept in contact though, though I tried not to as hard as it was because he needed space to sort his head out. He didn't handle everything well. We met up the other day and he felt that we could work so we are taking things slow and seeing how things develop. Although its kind of a step back, at least he gets distance to sort himself out and I don't lose him altogether.

The difference here though is that my boyfriend told me he wouldn't want to get back with his ex and wants to get over her. (Im hoping he's telling me the truth here!), whereas you've admitted that you would go back to her. Please please please, if that's your state of mind, cool things with your new girl because Ive ended up really hurt and if you continue and your ex comes back into the picture, she'll feel like second best.
You need to make a decision; either you want to try and make thing work with your ex (talk to her; see what she wants; but this means ending things with the new girl), or making a decision to move on and put full focus into this new girl. She deserves all your attention and not just what's remaining after giving it all to your ex. If you decide the latter, then talk to the new girl, tell her that you're having a hard time getting over your ex but that you really like her and want to make things work with her. But only do this if it is the truth.
You may think that everything will work out fine but trust me, this new girl will just feel like the rebound and will fel like you've used her. She'll get hurt if she really likes you and find it hard to trust again.
So please please please just be honest with yourself and her.
Hope it all goes well.