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ashleycm1092 · Jan 11, 2010, 09:43 PM

I'm hanging out with this guy and I really like him and I can tell he likes me too... I just don't really know what to do. I feel like I have to initiate most conversations and hangoits, but when were together he's perfect and like seems like he's really into me. I just feel weird because I don't like having to do all the work because I feel like he's going to loose interest. I alwaysss have to text him first. What should I do?

RadioActive697 · Jan 12, 2010, 02:44 AM

I know how you feel. Cause I been through that. You could talk to him. And tell him how you feel. That should help big time. Then just see what goes from there. Goodluck.
-Autumn-

I wish · Jan 12, 2010, 01:06 PM

If he's used to letting you take the initiative, then he'll probably continue that trend. Why not back off a bit to see if he'll make a move? Then you'll have a better idea of how interested he really is.

HistorianChick · Jan 12, 2010, 01:12 PM

I'd do what I Wish said, back off a bit and see if he is interested. You'll find out quickly if he is interested, just being nice, or not that into you.

ashleycm1092 · Jan 19, 2010, 07:13 PM

Threads merged

So the guy that I am currently seeing, I really like a lot and would definitely date. The other night when we hung out he initiated a kind of serious talk. He told me that he really really liked me (kept saying it over again) and kept giving me compliments and being really cute. Finally about a half hour in he said "I don't think I want a girlfriend right now" and followed it up by "I don't know I'm just confused maybe I do I just hate girls I jsut got out of a bad relationship" then later saying "Maybe if your still around in a month or so". I did not say or do anything to initiate this and he kept bringing it up on his own and I was being very casual with my answers. I really like him, and he seems to like me. We talk a lot, sometimes he initiates the conversation and sometimes I do. He doesn't seem to have a hard time blowing me off, but then when were together he always apologizes for when he does saying that "im a nice girl and he likes me and he doesnt want to piss me off" What the hellllll is going on in this boys head?

rockie100 · Jan 19, 2010, 08:02 PM

If he, in fact, just got out of a bad relationship. He has every reason not to have a girlfriend, or even date, for that matter... He knows that if he tried, it would be a rebound. It just would'nt work out right now. He, might have, gave thought to your feelings, given he could hurt you in the process.
Give him all the time he needs. Break-ups are rough. Who knows, maybe with some time, and understanding, he could come around. Be glad he isn't the type to rush into anything. Try not to take it personal. Talking to each other seems to go well, so continue to do that with him. He may see that you understand and relax a bit.
Rockie

jaime90 · Jan 19, 2010, 08:03 PM

Well, it doesn't take much to figure it out. He says he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, and for good reasons, he just got out of a serious relationship. Unless you want to be a rebound, I would back off, respect his feelings, and just be friends for the time being.

kctiger · Jan 20, 2010, 07:19 AM

As a guy I say that I "don't want a girlfriend" in two scenarios:

1) I really don't want one (really has to do with not having time for one and enjoying myself too much - my current situation)

2) I simply am not interested in you (if I really wanted to date a woman, I would, regardless of whether I thought I had time for them)

Just an FYI for you. Us guys are complicated, we just sometimes pretend to be. Coming out of a bad relationship, I would go with my first scenario. This would be a rebound and he is being honest with you, so kudos to him for not using you. Good luck!

I wish · Jan 20, 2010, 07:29 AM

You don't need to over-analyze every single word that he says. The bottom line is, he's not as interested in you as you are to him. If he was interested, he wouldn't be sayin: "I don't think I want a girlfriend right now".

teamjac0b · Feb 4, 2010, 04:09 AM

I'm going through the same thing. I hungout with this boy once, we kissed, and we started likeing each other.. but today I was talking to my ex boyfriend who I was with for a while and really loved and it just put me in a crappy mood. So I was texting the other boy just saying how I was having a bad day because of my ex and he started saying how his ex wants to be friends with him to. (together for a year and a half) but I said to him, I do like you but I don't want to see myself wasting my time in the end. He said he likes me as a friend and a little more but he doesn't want a relationship any time soon. Of course that upset me a lot, and I can't stop thinking about it but I think the best thing to do is to keep hanging out with him, show him you really care & like him and it just needs time. He needs time to get over that relationship then he'll see what a great person you are.

neverme · Feb 4, 2010, 04:16 AM

Well if your OK with casual, stay. But don't expect much.

I'm no Mystic Meg but I can't see this one working out.

I think he does care for you, that is why he is treating you with the respect you deserve and letting you know at the right time that this is not 'serious'. But not, in my opinion, the way you wished.

By the way missus, we've all been there. ;)

No fun in a way but he has been honest. Don't do what I did and wait around 'to see'. He's not seeing anything... wait, is that just me? :)

bswc · Feb 4, 2010, 08:43 AM

U can tell him you like him, and know he's not ready for a relationship. Assuming he's healing from a tough breakup, u can show him some care and comfort as a friend and keep things going that way and see how it goes in the future.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2010, 09:29 AM

Its obvious he is protecting himself and you by being honest.

Take him at his word, he ain't ready for a g/f.