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moon80 · Jan 5, 2010, 08:02 PM

I been with him going into 3 years, I am not working at the moment but all the bills are under my name,all this is what he had to pay off but I don't think that will happen now. I have good credit and now I am scared that this will eventually mess it up for me. I think this is the only think keeping me from leaving and I think he knows that. I am feeling so low at the moment.

sabrewolfe · Jan 5, 2010, 08:04 PM

What's the question?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 5, 2010, 08:12 PM

Why did you get the debt in your name, what tpe of debt is it, what was it for, and how much is it

sabrewolfe · Jan 5, 2010, 08:17 PM

Yes, what type of bills are you talking about? Household bills like electric, gas, that sort of thing?

moon80 · Jan 5, 2010, 08:19 PM

The reason why ( the breakup) its his 12 year old son. Whom I have done allot for and within the past few months until he began visiting his mother on the weekends and was coming back with a whole negative attitude, he has bad bad grades and very disrespectful to me to the point where his father grounded him and he called the cops on us saying we where hitting him when we never did.he lies about 30 times a day to the point where the social worker said he will begin counceling. This is just a small portion of all this,when do I say enough is enough.

A dirt bike for $5,000. Credits cards cell phone, we did it all because he has bad credit and I began building mine up. I'm just happy I got denied for my engagement ring that was going to be another $5,000

Justwantfair · Jan 5, 2010, 08:23 PM

Protect your credit and your name, it could be a lifelong lesson you are learning. Time to think about Small Claims, depending on the type of debt, but in the end, it's you with the most to lose and continuing to stay may increase that debt.

Accept some responsibility also, he could not use your credit if you were not allowing him to.

sabrewolfe · Jan 5, 2010, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by moon80

the reason why ( the breakup) its his 12 year old son. whom i have done allot for and withing the past few months until he began visiting his mother on the weekends and was coming back with a whole negative attitude, he has bad bad grades and very disrespectful to me to the point where his father grounded him and he called the cops on us saying we where hitting him when we never did.he lies about 30 times a day to the point where the social worker said he will begin counceling. this is just a small portion of all this,when do i say enough is enough.

Im really not sure how to answer your question. Are you asking if you should leave him? Is that what you are trying to decide right now?

moon80 · Jan 6, 2010, 02:57 AM

I need advice.I just feel so lost

I do love him but what should I do.do I stay or call it quits.and the parrt of my credit s@ares me too

The credits cards he did online.he told it would help my credit and I lovenly stupidly believed anddid not question him.he knws my social by heart.

amicon · Jan 6, 2010, 03:32 AM

First seek legal advice-I'm not qualified to tell you how that works where you live. Secondly,he sounds like a jerk,leave him.

Justwantfair · Jan 6, 2010, 07:50 AM

So the only reason you desire to stay is to protect your credit?

Doesn't sound to me like your lost, does that sound like a reason people stay together?

Romefalls19 · Jan 6, 2010, 08:11 AM

Well as having first hand experience with credit, if it's in your name, you own it. It's the sad reality. My fiance's ex took out credit cards in her name and then didn't pay them, the credit companies came after her. You would have to prove he did them, which is hard. The dirt bike, all he has to say is that it was a gift from you.

Work on paying off the debt and take it as a lesson learned. We can't tell you what to do, but if I were in that situation, I'd leave because it doesn't seem he has your best intentions at heart

moon80 · Jan 6, 2010, 08:33 AM

Thank you all very much. I just don't know why I'm so scared to leave bottom line I'm not happy.and I know what it is I need to do now.thank you all.

moon80 · Jan 6, 2010, 01:54 PM

Thank u all, thanks with all my heart

amicon · Jan 6, 2010, 01:57 PM

I hope it works out for you-take good care of yourself and good luck.

talaniman · Jan 6, 2010, 08:06 PM

Leave first, and consult a lawyer so you know what your rights are and what to expect. The burden of proof in small claims court is a lot more liberal than a regular court, and though you cannot get every penny back, half would surely help, since you did go along willingly with him.

Get the facts, and you may be pleasantly surprised, at your legal options.

moon80 · Mar 19, 2010, 11:31 PM

Hi everyone.its march and I some how did it,I left. I still don't know how but I got my stuff and daughter and left., I am still in debt by him but I just could not stay his abuse mentally and emotionally got worse and its been sometime that he has put his hands on me put I knew it was coming again.. I just wanted to say to all you left your comments thank you so much,, I always kept it in my head what you all wrote to me,, I am scared, I am not going to lie, but I know I didn't deserve this for me or my little girl to grow up in a unhappy toxic home BTW it is not his daughter in case you where wondering.

I could write a book about the past 3 yrs but I am ready for this new chapter in my life... but its been hard, a lot of mix emotions I been having sadness missing him wondering if I did the right thing when I know I did, being scared off all the credit debt he left me with.. so please it will be nice to come back and find some words of encouragement, trust me there is no way I will go back to him and its not like he has even tried to come back, lol

amicon · Mar 19, 2010, 11:37 PM

Well done and all the best of luck to you and your daughter.
You'll be fine-you are a strong woman.

moon80 · Mar 19, 2010, 11:56 PM

Threads merged
I just broke up and moved out from my boyfriend of 3 yrs but he was no good, his family was all negative his son was a troubled child and he emotionally mentally and physically abused me so why am I missing him so much and wondering if I did the right thing by leaving I know its stupid and I will never go back to him but why is my question for these feelings that are driving me nuts.

amicon · Mar 20, 2010, 12:22 AM

You're mourning the death of your relationship,which is normal-even though yours was a very unhappy one.

It takes time to heal from a breakup,so allow yourself time and be patient with yourself.

Your ex was abusive,so I think you are probably feeling a lot of anger towards him.

That's normal too.

Do things that make you feel good,be around people who care for you and keep moving forward.

myagony1234 · Mar 20, 2010, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by moon80

i just broke up and moved out from my boyfriend of 3 yrs but he was no good, his family was all negative his son was a troubled child and he emotionally mentally and physically abused me so why am i missing him so much and wondering if i did the right thing by leaving i know its stupid and i will never go back to him but why is my question for these feelings that are driving me nuts.

I am glad you did right thing. Please stick with your decision, and move on.
It is very normal, and breakup is not easy for anyone. You are valuable, lonely and sad now, and need some comfort. When we breakup, the feeling does not die at the moment we breakup. It takes time to heal, and this confusing feeling will fade away as time goes by.
Be strong, go out for walk, meet up some friends, and treat yourself good. Good Luck.