[judenyce]

I have a beautiful 3 year old who has started to HATE going to bed. Our usual routine has been putting her in bed, reading a book, then letting her tell me when to turn out her light, which was usually only about 20 minutes, then she fell asleep. Not anymore. It started as waking up at least once in the middle of the night and coming into my room. I let her stay with me either because I was too tired to put her back, or because I didn't wake up when she came in. Finally I decided to put my foot down and started to put her back in bed. This would go on all night and I was getting hardly any sleep, which resulted in her coming in without me realizing it until morning. For awhile it was because she had wet the bed, and I let her sleep with me because I was too tired to change her bed and put her back in it. I should probably take a moment to explain that I am a single mom, two kids, and a full-time, low-paying job. So, I'm pretty stressed as it is.

I stopped the water before bedtime to eliminate that problem, but she is still getting up in the middle of the night and fighting me at bedtime. Tonight I put her in bed a full hour earlier than usual hoping that she would sleep sooner because I could tell that she is tired from not getting much sleep. I told her that we were going to try a bedtime 'quiet-time' where she could play in her bed, color in bed, or read in bed, but she had to stay in bed. I was hoping that this would wind her down, but it didn't. She threw a major fit and I wound up just turning off the light hoping that it would help. She cried for almost an hour and has kept up intermitant bouts of crying, and it's 2 hours later! I have even asked her if she is seeing anything in there that is frightening her-I'm so desperate that I've asked me 3 year old if she's been seeing ghosts! I've got a contellation night light that projects the stars on the ceiling for her so that the light in her room isn't too bright, but she can feel comforted if she wakes up in the middle of the night. I've tried to offer a reward if she stays in her room all night for a week, month... but nothing has worked. Her dad says that he doesn't have any problems with her the one night a week that he has her overnight, but the girls have told me that they're afraid of him if they come out of their room at night.

I have thought about putting my two girls in the same room, but my other daughter is no problem going to bed and I don't want the younger one keeping the older one awake especially as the older one is in school. Any ideas?

[bidingmytime]

One idea is that you could try making a bed for the 3 yr old in your room. That way she can just go in there and sleep and you can sleep, and she won't get you up. She won't be 3 forever and she'll out grow that really fast.

Another solution is that you might try letting her stay up later and waking her up earlier. That way when she is in bed she will be very tired and sleep the whole night.

Don't put her to bed early! That's going to make the problem worse. The more time she's in bed, the less she's going to want to be there.

[redhed35]

How To Keep Your Child In Bed...All Night!

I had to go through quite a number of sites before I found this one, I was quite shocked at some of the advice on other sites,it ranged from screaming at the child to locking them into the room,I don't recommend any of those.

This site looks promising,but I'm afraid it mostly goes into what your already doing.

Children go through lots of different phases,the up shot is she won't be 3 forever,and as a teenager you will have a hard time getting her up out of bed.. but that does not help you now.

Well done for doing it on your own,I know how hard it is.

The only advice I can add to the site I gave is perserverance... keep putting her back to bed,keep the routine..

Maybe a sticker system,if she stays in bed all week she gets a little prize.

Find out if she is sleeping during the day while your at work... keep her busy and whoever minds her during the day to reinforce the sticker rule and what your saying at home.

Best of luck,I hope you get some sleep soon.

[judenyce]

I know that she takes a nap at daycare that usually lasts no longer than an hour. The other problem is that I get off work at 6 or 7, they've already eaten, and their dad has promised them dessert when they get back to mommy's. So, because I don't want to make him look bad to them by breaking his promise, (and because I like being able to do 'something' for them), I give it to them. But I think that it is wiring them up too much, too close to bedtime. So I just texted him today asking him that if he's going to promise them dessert, that he needs to give it to them so that it's not so close to their bedtime. I said that it's 'one more thing to try' to try to make it sound like I wasn't blaming him cause I'm not. Much as I would like to just be able to blame him for everything... :P

[redhed35]

Try and see if you can cut out the nap in day care..

Dessert with dad sounds like a good idea.

Keep plugging away at it,its cold comfort now, but it will get better...

Really,I know what its like trying to work and look after kids on my own,your doing good.

[scentedcandles]

I do a trick with my kids... I never say they're going to bed, just call it time for operation nice'n'cosy... you sound like you already have a good routine with them, and probably she's just looking for some comfort... you are absolutely doing the right thing, just give it time and she'll learn. Why not trying something like a fruit salad for dessert... no major sugar rushes??
Best of luck...

[jillrenee15]

I know that she takes a nap at daycare that usually lasts no longer than an hour. The other problem is that I get off work at 6 or 7, they've already eaten, and their dad has promised them dessert when they get back to mommy's. So, because I don't want to make him look bad to them by breaking his promise, (and because I like being able to do 'something' for them), I give it to them. But I think that it is wiring them up too much, too close to bedtime. So I just texted him today asking him that if he's gonna promise them dessert, that he needs to give it to them so that it's not so close to their bedtime. I said that it's 'one more thing to try' to try to make it sound like I wasn't blaming him cause I'm not. Much as I would like to just be able to blame him for everything......:P

You could always make dessert some berries with whip cream, pretty low in sugar, and good for them... They get expensive in the winter, but no more so than a box of fruit snacks or other junk food... My son is 3 also, he crawls in bed with me 5 out of 7 nights. He goes to bed really well, usually telling me he's tired and wants to go to bed. Usually it's around 4am. I just let him in. I love the extra snuggle time and he'll grow out of it eventually.