[QueenoftheCasa]

My son is 12 and has been diagnosed with ADHD as of 11 years of age. He is on meds but I fear they're not helping much. I've talked to his doctor and they have increased the dosage.

Some days are better than others. There are a lot of times where I feel it is tearing our family apart. He is seen by his doctor every other month and I was in tears at the last visit because it hasn't gotten to be too much for me. He sees a counselor weekly for almost 2 years now.

My husband (his stepfather-his only father) has raised his hands because we bump heads on his theory... "children are to be seen not heard," and it is very difficult for me especially when I need emotional support. My husband is a great person and was never like this until recently. Now that my son has entered his pre-teen years he is not very easy to deal with. My husband gets tired that my son is always making our other children cry because he is so aggressive.

I have him involved in sports year round to release all that energy and I am very involved with his school. I have poured a lot of my energy into him and it seems to be causing a drain in my marriage and relationship with my other children, but I don't really see another way to deal with this.

Any advice or encouraging words would be greatly appreciated.

[Boricua1]

I think you are doing a good job thus far.. but might I suggest, and you may already be doing this.. but don't treat him like he's a "case" like some special kid with issues.. treat him just like the others.. Kids can sense this...

Also, he's just a kid.. don't give him enough power to "tear apart" the family.. and don't even put that notion in your head because you may start subconsciously blaming him.. he can sense that too.. ADHD kids are highly perceptiove.. and highly intelligent you already know this... maybe he need activities that equire concentration.. which I know seems like an oxymoron almost to even suggest.. but I mean somehing interactive but detail orinted.. maybe get him a camcorder, or something.. he may be into making films.. or photography... you get my drift? Something totally his own.. and be very proactive in encouraging him.

He may feel so "special" right now that he feels "unspecial" and unable to do anything productive or calming and is acting out in his attempts to feel normal.. I know it doesn't seem to make much sense.. but kids do that.. even kids without ADHD... if you make it a point to always be on the look out for when he's going to act out.. they sense the lack of trust and get defensive from your offensive gestures... you may be on the offense for him so much that he immediately reacts to "prove' you right..

I hope it gets better and I know that your very intelligent, ADHD child will do just fine and so will your family.. but you can't just put it on him or his condition...

Bear in mind also he is goingthrough puberty, and he is really just begging to understand what is always going on in his head, and why there is so much tension revolved around him... (he's too young to understand reciprocity yet on an emotional level)but he needs to know that he's not abnormal we all feel that way he just has to take a more creative and productive strategy to cope with his frustartions..

But on a good note remind him that his hard work will pay off in that he will do better than his peers when he applies himself...