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    blondndisguise5's Avatar
    blondndisguise5 Posts: 78, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 29, 2009, 11:32 AM
    Date ditcher
    Hey guys! So I have this problem that I can't seem to wrap my mind around its kind of silly but I can't make a decision. So I am in college and I am part of a sorority and every semester we have a formal dance for our new memebers. They need IDs in really early so I asked this non-greek guy I was talking to at the time to go with me. He is super pumped and as he put it "cant wait to down a few drinks then let the drama unfold." Well I am not really into him anymore and to be honest I will probably get super annoyed and bringing him would ruin our relationship because hed tie me down and he wouldn know anyone else. So I want to take my friend from a fraternity house because he could go do whatever and I could be free to just chill during the night. Sooo yeah I know that sounds SUPER shallow and frankly it is but I don't know what the right thing to do is.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #2

    Nov 29, 2009, 11:38 AM

    You do "know what the right thing is".

    You just told us.

    You just came here for support in doing the wrong thing.

    Do you want to look back on this when you are older?

    Just for one night?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Nov 29, 2009, 11:40 AM
    To be honest you asked this guy,how would you feel if it was you,he's going to be hurt... can you invite him before the dance to meet other people who will be there,let him know this,so when the time comes he will be able to talk to other people...

    Or tell him straight... I don't really like you anymore,you're going to cramp my style so I'm uninviting you... he might call you a few choice names,but that would be the end of it.

    If it was me... id take the first guy,because I said I would and make the best of it... end of the day,its up to you.
    dream11207's Avatar
    dream11207 Posts: 39, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Nov 29, 2009, 12:37 PM

    Well are you and the first guy still even talking? If you are not dating right now then I don't think you owe him anything...
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #5

    Nov 29, 2009, 03:08 PM
    You really need our justification?

    Why don't you ask yourself, what kind of person do you want to be?

    Have more confidence in yourself. You know to do, we're here to guide you, but ultimately, you need to find it in yourself to get the answers.

    Furthermore, if you don't feel like you can commit to a serious relationship, then don't do it. No one is forcing you. Just do whatever you're comfortable with.

    Just wait until you're ready. There's no rush.
    Dararamm's Avatar
    Dararamm Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Nov 29, 2009, 03:15 PM

    Take the first guy.
    You said you would so you should.
    It's that simple.
    blondndisguise5's Avatar
    blondndisguise5 Posts: 78, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #7

    Nov 29, 2009, 03:29 PM

    To jmjoseph: I actually came on to get someone to tell me to do the right thing everyone thinks I should go with my friend

    I have decided to go with the first boy and suck it up but I just needed some reassurance.

    And to be honest I really can't put myself in his shoes or ask myself if id feel bad because ever since I first came to this site with my heart all ripped out, once I repaired myself I haven really been able to feel anything. In general I am just happy and content and down for fun being single. I can tell later it will be a problem and yes maybe even now it is too.. but I can't seem to have feelings that allow anyone in.
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