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trshinn · Nov 21, 2009, 11:31 PM

So I've only been with my fiancé for about 3 months and things moved really fast. We moved in together right off the bat and things were great at first. It was new and I still had butterflies, but now there is none of that!! And now its like every cute guy that passes by I take a second and sometimes a third look, and I'm afraid I'm falling out of love with my fiancé! I ve known him for about 4 years and I've always had a crush on him and I HONESTLY thought this was it for me. He's so good to me, but we have been fighting nearly every day here lately and I don't know what to do! Deep down I want things to work out but then there's that part of me that wants to run away fast??

zippit · Nov 21, 2009, 11:35 PM

Quote by trshinn
So I've only been with my fiancé for about 3 months and things moved really fast.

How can they be moving really fast when you have known him for 4 years?
He was not a complete stranger to you.

Wondergirl · Nov 21, 2009, 11:44 PM

If you are having these doubts now -- first, things are not right between you and him, and second, you are checking out other guys -- it's time to rethink a marriage and figure out what's going on in your head and heart. Best bet would be to have several sessions with a counselor, you alone and/or with him.

Gemini54 · Nov 22, 2009, 01:55 AM

Put a stop to it now. I think you've got problems with commitment and with relationships in general.

Too much too soon, romantic fantasies that he's the one - now you're flirting with other guys after only 3 months... huh?

You need to talk and tell him honestly what's going on. Move somewhere else and get things into perspective.

Jake2008 · Nov 22, 2009, 03:34 AM

It sounds like you weren't ready to commit to such an extent. Having a crush on somebody for 4 years suddenly coming to an actual relationship, quickly followed by getting engaged and moving in together right away is just too much, too soon.

Maybe if you had dated longer, and got to know him during a longer term relationship you may have had different results. You could have found out that likely you were not compatible enough to marry, or live together.

If it is this uncomfortable for you, and you have doubts, it's time to back up the truck. Move out so you can catch your breath and thing things through. If that isn't enough, break the engagement, and go your separate ways.

Staying in this relationship which has turned into daily arguing, and big doubts and questions about your future with him, needs to be addressed a lot faster than it took you to jump the gun and move in so fast in the first place.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 22, 2009, 12:47 PM

Sorry but it was not love to start with, it was sexual heat and perhaps lust. Now this is why most couples start getting together, and over time love grows

NorseThor · Nov 22, 2009, 04:38 PM

It sounds like you want to move on. Be honest with guy so he can find a woman that really want to commit to him. Right now this guy believes that he has a future, but in reality his girlfriend is thinking of cheating on him with other guys. Be honest with your partner and yourself is the best remedy for doubts about your future.

Thor

jmjoseph · Nov 22, 2009, 05:03 PM

When is the wedding scheduled for? I hope not soon. If it is, you should push it out at least 6 months.

Being in a relationship for only 90 days, and going this fast, with all this argueing, and all these doubts, you may very well have made a mistake.

But the good thing is that you've found out before the wedding, and you can either work it out, or go your separate ways. But don't marry with this attitude, " It will get better" Because it may NOT, and then you'll be in a mess.

"If it don't fit, don't force it."

Cat1864 · Nov 23, 2009, 08:01 AM

I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your fiancé about what is going on. He may be feeling the same things you are.

It sounds like you are both trying to prod each other into walking away.

It appears that you make better friends than you do a couple.

I wish · Nov 23, 2009, 10:39 AM

If you're afraid of falling out of love with your boyfriend, then you've falling out of love already.

When you're in love, you wouldn't constantly doubt your love for that person.

You better take a few steps back and rethink your relationship before jumping into a marriage.

A divorce is much messier than making a clean break now.

talaniman · Nov 23, 2009, 04:17 PM

I think your learning the difference between a long time crush, and the reality of a real adult relationship.

The thing to do is get out while you can still stand each other.

none12345 · Nov 23, 2009, 04:27 PM

Imagine being married and fighting everyday. That is just much way worse, the only difference is that you can still leave now without a divorce.

pfanatic · Nov 23, 2009, 04:42 PM

I think she's just a "bit" confused. There's nothing wrong in checking other guys out. I do it when in love maybe even more than when single. It's because I'm happy, I smile at everyone.

Why is he your fiancé? What's the hurry? Everyone's answers would be different if he was "just" your boyfriend. But relationship is real enough if there is love in it. I don't get it why people treat serious dating and marriage etc.so differently. I think they can work through this. Maybe it's just a phase.

lilserenity · Nov 23, 2009, 05:01 PM

:) Ok now its time for a time out. Time to take some time away from each other make it a time out time.. Let her pick a place for you to go and you also for her that way no accusing each other about anything but then trust should be built.. If you can't do the time out thing then its time to sit down calmly and talk. Tell her things are moving too quickly and you still love her and want to marry her its just too quick and hopefully you both may decide on different living arrangements. Parents will do if money is a issue right now.. If living together is a issue and make you both fight then take your time you make the call you are the man take reins.. with love intended that is.. Communication is a issue start having a 30 minutes to an hour talk sessions every night if nothing else take turns tell how your days went and if any problems come along you both can solve them.. But I agree you both should have waited to move in this way things could have been set up beforehand and the place could have been built with love from you both. If ou feel a fight talk a walk leave go around block or go get a dozen roses and come back and apologize, even if its not your fault the flowers will say it all.. good luck