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howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 04:03 PM

Anything? What do I do if she says she wants to start "seeing" me again but not make anything official?

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 04:48 PM

Is that what you want?

jimseekinadvice · Dec 4, 2009, 04:52 PM

Why would you settle for anything but yes? So she can still see other people if your not official? I rather have a girlfriend that has both feet through the door rather than one.

talaniman · Dec 4, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by howareutoday134

anything? what do i do if she says she wants to start "seeing" me again but not make anything official?

Dude, That's a NO answer, and your not a couple. Come on guy what else do you need to see that this is over.

A female that doesn't want romance is not the one for you.

Do you know how many females are out there waiting for a good man to show up?? BILLIONS, go get one. Or as many as you can date without being official. Hmmm, if she doesn't want anything official, why the heck haven't you been unofficially dating others. I sure would have been.

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 05:19 PM

Exactly, Tal's right.

You are spending so much effort on trying to change her mind as opposed to let it be & work on having fun without her.

The answer has been no. Why do you think all of a sudden its going to be yes?

That's a waste of energy.

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 08:40 PM

Well went about like you guys figured... so the plan starting now is to say screw it if she wants to contact me then fine if she wants to get back together ever I might consider it but I'm not waiting around anymore... so it will be her loss if she decides that she does and I'm already dating someone else

talaniman · Dec 4, 2009, 09:23 PM

You are free to pursue your own happiness. That's a good thing.

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 09:25 PM

Yes tal from now on its about me!

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 09:28 PM

Her loss, oh well.

But really your gain!!

Now you know, buddy. Glad you got that.

Exactly what you were in denial about.

Now you can move on. Good one.

Have no contact from now on & save yourself any more worries.

The only thing you need to consider now is you.

howareutoday134 · Dec 4, 2009, 09:33 PM

I'm not planning on going complete no contact but I am moving on

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 09:42 PM

Hehe.

Sounds like a contradiction in terms.

You can do whatever you want at this point, but after meeting up & telling you AGAIN that she doesn't want you, my advice is to have zero contact.

Or, you can continue this bs game that only you have an investment in & be hurt ten fold later.

Up to you man.

Don't play games.

emopunk7 · Dec 5, 2009, 12:36 AM

Howie, did you read my last post on your thread? Exactly what I wrote is what happened... Now you say you will move on but you still will have contact with her. That really isn't moving on. We know its hard to just give something up because it's like an addiction. People who stay in contact with their ex and even get into another relationship while in contact with their ex almost never move on. In fact those people are the ones who are never happy and even a year or 5 years later are still stuck on their ex. We want you to have a great life! The only way for you to move on and be extremely happy within a few month to a year is by total no cantact! Believe me!

Its either stay in contact and still suffer up to a year or 5 years and possibly more... or go NC and you will be happier than ever and that will also attract loads of girls. Think of a special girl that is gorgeous and wants to be with you but is watching to see what steps you are taking. Girls notice these things... Make the right moves!

howareutoday134 · Dec 5, 2009, 08:39 AM

Thanks guys for your help... im going to try and stay away from this site for awhile as I come here with hope she comes back so I think I need to stay away for awhile thanks everyone for your help... and believe me ill be back if I need some help

howareutoday134 · Dec 7, 2009, 03:48 PM

Well I made it a couple of days without posting anything... just an update... ive been doing OK still pretty down on myself and just want her to come back... but I've been surviving and trying to move on but I believe its going to take me awhile... just wanted to keep everyon informed that's been helping through this rough patch... I think it helps my sanity to write down what I'm feeling if that makes any sense... so I might just come here to write every once in awhile just to actually write down what I'm thinking

amicon · Dec 7, 2009, 03:52 PM

That's a good idea-come back when you feel like it. Time and patience,and you'll be fine. Take care.

talaniman · Dec 7, 2009, 05:16 PM

Strong Hint- You can't want someone back, and expect to move on. Once you accept they won't come back, you'll stop hoping, and can slowly move forward, because your not looking back any more.

howareutoday134 · Dec 7, 2009, 05:31 PM

I haven't compeltely accepted that she won't come back :( and not sure I want to accept that yet. I know you'll tell me that I need to accept it but I'm just not ready to yet

talaniman · Dec 7, 2009, 07:00 PM

You will suffer until you do. Like holding your breath till you turn blue... sooner or later you will have to breath.

vanheart · Dec 7, 2009, 07:06 PM

Yes, one day realization will set in.
By whatever means.

But, be sure that false hope isn't going to get you there.

It will prolong the agony.

Is that how you want to feel? Crappy all the time?

Its over. Get your life back now.

howareutoday134 · Dec 7, 2009, 07:44 PM

I'm all right with where I am right now... im a lot better then I was a week ago... im just moving at my own pace