[heavensdoor]

I was with my child's father for 4 years. During this time he drank and took drugs. I began to do the same so I decided to end it. We broke up and he moved out. He was sharing responsibility for our 14mth old son but on a few occasions he was neglecting him due to his alcohol and drug abuse. He once took our son to his mothers place, proceeded to get drunk, took our son whilst still drunk on public transport, leaving him in the downstairs of my flat alone. Luckily I came down to see who rang my buzzer and found my baby there alone. When I contacted his mother and sister they knew he had been drinking and allowed him to take the baby anyway.
Stupidly, I continued to let father look after him for a while until my son hurt himself while in his fathers care and found him drunk on returning from work.
I stopped him seeing my son and also stopped his family having the baby on weekends. The grand parents do not agree with my decision and decided to contact my sons social worker without my consent. The social worker was charmed by them and taken in my their educated demeanor and suggested that I let my son continue to visit there even though dad will be there too and grandmother also drinks in the evening.
I want his father and his family to see my son but they have not proved responsible. I have advised them to pursue supervised contact but they haven't and I feel like the bad guy in this situation.
He is not ready to stop drinking and his mother doesn't see drink as a problem for her or her son.
I also recently found out that his father cheated on me during our relationship, so it feels like I'm punishing him for this
I can't see the situation cl.early, am I doing the right thing? Should I let the family look after him unsupervised as they have promised to take better care of him even if his father is there or should I not take the risk and let them pursue supervised contact through a lawyer? Am I just bitter because he cheated on me , so am punishing him and his family? Please help!

[tickle]

Bottom line is your son is at risk while in their care. As you explain it. Is that not the case ? Supervised visits with them may be your only option, or cutting off the relationship altogether. Your decision making is swayed by your inability to see past the cheating which has absolutely no bearing on this problem at all.

Tick

[heavensdoor]

Thank you Tick, yes it is the case, he is at risk with them and his safety should be my only priority. It took me finding out about his cheating to realise this because I was so caught up in still loving him and pleasing his family.
His mother has done a lot for me and is a very intelligent woman with an OBE in parenting classes but she also drinks in the evening and I've seen her pass out whilst at the dining table.
I expressed my concerns to his Social worker but she was in awe of her instead of being professional and addressing questions on her drinking. So her recommendations on allowing grandmother to look after him hold now weight with me. My own risk assessment is 'no' unsupervised contact.
I would really like my son to grow up knowing his father and family but they need to respect my decision and go through the courts, seeking supervised contact.
My confusion is subsiding everyday.
Thanks for the advice.