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sully123 · Jun 6, 2010, 07:54 AM

I agree totally with you Redhed, feel like his sounding board at times. He takes one step forward and then two steps back. His last conversation was wouldn't that be funny if we ever got back together. He said he might be available. But to me, actions speak louder than words. I haven't really thought about much more than friends, as I said it starts fine, but then doesn't go any further. His elderly mom told me the other day, she happen to answer the phone, and she always like me from childhood just be patient. I am too an extent, but, I am certainly not going to wait around. Actually, I am fine by myself not dating right now, because I too have to take care of my ederly mom. I guess its not fair, but I kind of putting my life on hold, to take care of her. But, its OK for now, and thanks for answering me.

redhed35 · Jun 6, 2010, 08:24 AM

Its important to make some space in your life for you,taking care of an elderly parent can take its toll,find time to enjoy other activities and to laugh.

sully123 · Jun 22, 2010, 01:51 PM

Update everybody! Well he, has called me a lot over the past couple of weeks. I have been on vacation this week from school and we have been with each other the past four days, spent a lot of time with each other. But the so called girlfriend, sometimes ex, he told me makes him suffer for a few weeks and then texts him that she misses him. She plays a lot of head games, he said he can't do this anymore. He has been open and honest with me all along. But she text him last night again, after a couple of weeks, with the same story. I asked him what he is going to do. He said I am not answering it. I left it at that. I have left my wall up because I don't want to get hurt from anyone again. I am proceeding with caution. Do I let my wall down slowly and go with the flow and just enjoy each other's company as we are doing?

tickle · Jun 22, 2010, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by sully123

Do I let my wall down slowly and go with the flow and just enjoy each other's company as we are doing?

This is okay to do, sully, as long as it appears he doesn't have any backbone. I don't know if you want anyone like that because what does that mean for him and you if she ever drops him and he comes along with you ? Do you really want someone like that, who can't make a positive decision on anything. The ball is in your court now. Would you really be comfortable with a hanger-on, a shadow going along with your every whim because he doesn't feel right doing anything else?

Just my thoughts and in my own opinion.

Tick

sully123 · Jun 22, 2010, 02:16 PM

I don't know Tickle, he says he isn't going back to her. He said it's been going on too long the head games over the past couple of years and he is too old for this. He told me he enjoys my company and likes me a lot. I don't bring up the so called girl unless he ever gets on the subject. But he explained to me on the weekend why we saw each other sporadically the last couple of years, and he just can't do it anymore. As I said I am not emtionally attached, for this reason, just proceeding with caution, Tickle.

talaniman · Jun 22, 2010, 06:52 PM

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.

This is no joke and I don't care what he says, and being comfortable with someone and to keep doing it, IS emotionally involved. Be careful what you justify to yourself. Feelings don't replace facts. Sorry but I smell rebound, or a guy jumping to a better comfort zone, for company.

positiveparent · Jun 22, 2010, 07:41 PM

It could be that this man has short term memory problems, JMO

Oops looks like I fell off the page sorry, perhaps my short term memory is caput...

sully123 · Jun 23, 2010, 04:36 AM

That's the exact reason why my wall is up, I keep it as a friendship. Been there, done it!

sully123 · Jul 11, 2010, 01:09 PM

Update, well I haven't seen him since my vacation three weeks ago. We touch base and talked on the phone, But, the first part of this week I called him. He text me once Monday and I text him, twice this week and received no answer. That told me something. Whenever, I don't hear from him makes me think the so called ex-girlfriend is back in his life. I have decided to move on with my life, and actually not even answer his phone calls when he does call. I like consistency and never got that from him. To wishy washy for me. The only thing that bothers me is he said he wasn't going back to her, he had enough. Well, actions speak louder than words. He told me wouldn't that be funny, if you and I went back together after so many years. Actually, it was our both first date, very young, though. I did keep my wall up, and thank God I never gave him my heart and got that emotionally involved. Honesty, means a lot to me, but that never happened. I know in the near future he will try to call me once again. Do I just not answer the phone when he calls. Friend or no friend you don't do that to someone you known for so long...

talaniman · Jul 11, 2010, 02:37 PM

Why is it okay for him not to text you back, but not okay for you not to text him back?? I do not understand, nor do I understand why you assume the reason he hasn't text you back is because of his g/f, or ex, or whatever.

Whatever the case is its about No Contact now as your thing and reasoning has taken on a very irrational flavor, and you assuming, and presuming, all with no facts save he hasn't been trying to contact you and that's all the facts you need.