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I wish · Nov 9, 2009, 05:48 AM

If you send that email, and she responds, you're going to over-analyze every single word that she writes.

If she doesn't respond, you're going to over-analyze why she isn't responding.

No good can come out of this.

Leave her alone. Focus on healing from the break up and not prolonging the agony.

philly0312 · Nov 9, 2009, 06:46 AM

Ok guys :( Thank you for letting me know, I really appriciate it ! I think I will just not contact her anymore then !

Romefalls19 · Nov 9, 2009, 06:49 AM

Just leave it alone. I received a letter from my ex after we broke up with her explaining why she did it and how much she still loved me but needed to do this for her. How I am such a great guy blah blah blah. I regret even reading it.

I wanted to write a letter to her, but was advised against it from friends on here. Heed their advice on here

amicon · Nov 9, 2009, 06:51 AM

That's the best decision-keep up the NC.

philly0312 · Nov 9, 2009, 03:54 PM

Hi guys, I am a clingy, needy boyfriend who was always stick with my girl, didn't let her has enough space, jealous when she hangout with guys, and my life is kind of independence on her. So, I decided to break up and let her have her own life and my life. It's been a week and Starting to feel better and Extremely good now, I hanging out with friends, go to gym, study harder, and my confident is getting back to me... I getting back who I was before I dated this girl. SO ! My question is if I give her 3 weeks is this going to make her love for me to decrease ? I going to see her again in next 2 weeks, I know I have to be a new ME, but I just wonder does will she come back to me if I already changed ( not clingy . Needy anymore ) ? Will she forget and moved on for the next 2 weeks. P/S : I had been with this girl for 2 years and 4 months. I really need you guys opinions, thank you !

supermannnnnn · Nov 9, 2009, 04:00 PM

Check this out.

No one could give you an answer but god.

If you were clingy for 2+ years, that image of you already been in her mind. Which isn't too good if you want her back.

If you are " FAKING " to be NOT CLINGY anymore when you see her in 2 weeks, its fake and she will see it anyway.

You can not change for her.

You must change for you. You must better yourself for you. For your own confidence. It must be REAL. It can't be FAKED.

philly0312 · Nov 9, 2009, 04:31 PM

True ! Thanks for the advice !

supermannnnnn · Nov 9, 2009, 04:36 PM

Keep going out with your friends and keep trying to better your INNER SELF.

APPLY NO CONTACT!

Learn to NOT NEED any female to make you happy. You are a MAN! Depend only on yourself. When you have true confidence, it will show and females see it FAST... They have like a 6th sense.

When you have done this, you up your chance considerably at winning your EX back... Its not 100% , but you have a better chance. Better than nothing.

Also, when you better yourself, you are preparing yourself for the NEXT GIRL. =) WIN/WIN situation.

summer7 · Nov 10, 2009, 12:19 AM

Hi,
You are insecure but why? Try to figure out why you are having these feelings... How did this begin for you? From the sound of your post, it seems that you are trying to change for her. Do you think you have actually changed or do you think you will fall back to the old behavior once with her again?

You've made some really good progress, it seems, but you need to examine why you are insecure. You will only suffer and cause your girlfriend to suffer by this behavior. I can say that as a female, I feel absolutely suffocated if a guy is clingy with me or is overly jealous.

Having these feelings must be very difficult for you. My advice is to continue with this new life you are leading. By meeting new people, having new hobbies, going to the gym and studying hard, your confidence will continue to grow. When you see her again, just take it easy and see what the feelings are between you. Don't push it. If you guys are meant to be together, no amount of time between meetings should keep you apart as a couple.

I found these sites that might be helpful to you... Good luck! :)

Click Here: http://www.life123.com/relationships...he-worst.shtml

Click Here: How to Stop Being Needy and Clingy | eHow.com

Click Here: How to Stop Being So Clingy in Relationships

philly0312 · Nov 10, 2009, 06:33 AM

Thank you very muchm I will try to improve myself and find the truly me !

summer7 · Nov 10, 2009, 01:01 PM

I wish you a lot of luck here. You are on the right path. You recognize that you need to change this behavior and are willing to make every effort to improve and be better. You have reached out to others for advice and help. I believe you will make significant improvement. This is great!

supermannnnnn · Nov 10, 2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by philly0312

Thank you very muchm I will try to improve my self and find the truly me !

That's the way to go!

bjohnrupp · Nov 10, 2009, 02:21 PM

Listen man... DON'T blame yourself for what ahppened and say you have to improve yourself- everyone has some improving to do BUT this breakup WAS NOT your fault!

You loved her like crazy just like I did but there obviously was reasons/things that happened in the relationship that made you jealous. You're blaming yourself when I guarantee you she did things without you knowing that got you this way.

You stayed with her and were available to her because you LOVED HER. Maybe you could have backed off a little but if she truly loved you she would want you to be around. However we all need to have our own lives because if the two of you are attached at the hip it will NEVER work out.

philly0312 · Nov 11, 2009, 10:29 AM

Hi guys, I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 and half years, about 2 weeks ago. I was doing NC, and I'm feeling goood with my life right now. The reason I broke up with her is because I was clinngy, needy boyfriend. Anyway, I'm going to night club with my friends this Friday ( 2 more days later) and guess what ! She will be there too. So How should I act ? Ignore ? Uninterested ? What should I do ? Should I dance with her ? Buy her a drink ? This is totally confused to me right now ! She got my balls for like 2 and half years already, and now I'm getting back my confidence ! Omg ! Guys please HELP !

Imabadman · Nov 11, 2009, 10:39 AM

Just be yourself. Be cordial but don't get emotional and fawn all over her. A simple "Hi" and a smile and go on about your business. She's just another girl at a club.

spitvenom · Nov 11, 2009, 11:04 AM

Just like imabadman said. Say hi make the bs small talk then go about your business. But if you do find yourself wanting to talk to her can't stop looking to see what she is doing then LEAVE right away.

I wish · Nov 11, 2009, 11:30 AM

Please keep all questions regarding the same situation in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

Just go out and have fun with your friends. Don't talk to her more than you have to. She's just another person at the club.

Remember, the more time you're focused on her, the less time you have to enjoy yourself.

Cat1864 · Nov 11, 2009, 02:30 PM

Don't stress yourself out about what ifs. The more you build the possible encounter up in your mind the harder it will be for you to act like yourself and have fun meeting other people and dancing with new women.

Be polite, but don't encourage any conversation. You aren't going there to entertain her. You are going there to entertain yourself. Let her entertain herself, but NOT at your expense.

HAVE FUN!

philly0312 · Nov 16, 2009, 03:31 PM

Hi guys, I just broke up with my ex of 2 years and 4 months, about 3 weeks ago. We had a really good time together. The reason she wanted to break up with me is because she said she wanted to know what else is out there, we still young, cannot settle down and blah blah blah. After I broke up with her, I realized lots of things. I was too clingy , needy to her, and may be that's the reason she wanted to break up. Moreover, there is kind of no balance between us, I mean I was her boyfriend but her life was much better than mine, born in a really rich family, her father is a chairman of a company, her studying is better than me, she always get A in class, out going person, and everything seem great in her life. But me ! I'm not that rich, my studying is OK , and I wasn't man enough to deal with life . So sometime I think we are not balance and I think that's 1 of the reason why she broke up with me. Is this true ? Or I just imagine too much.

philly0312 · Nov 16, 2009, 03:36 PM

OH, 1 more thing, After I broke up with her, there is always an image that she will get a better guy who is rich, study good and hand some, interesting, blah blah, keep playing in my head which is even make me feel worse and make my confidence decreasing like hell. I'm seriously afraid that someday, I will bumb into her with this guy and feel so emberassing to know that if this guy is even much better than I am. S**t ! I really don't know what to do and how to avoid this kind of feeling !