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amicon · Nov 29, 2009, 08:03 AM

I understand,it's all part of the healing process,so long as it helps you move on.

amicon · Nov 29, 2009, 09:02 AM

Thank you-soldier on SH, you'll if there.

Dararamm · Nov 29, 2009, 02:48 PM

I'm sorry about your breakup. =/
Not sure if I'll be any help but here's my advice since I know a couple of people in the same situation as you're in.
I think you shouldn't start hanging around her until you've moved on for sure.
If you two decided to be friends and she starts seeing someone, I have a feeling it wouldn't cause very happy emotions in you.
Just focus on anything else and try not to think too much about her, I guess.
But I'm only repeating what many before me are saying. But good luck. ^^
I hope you'll feel better soon =)

Something_Here · Nov 29, 2009, 05:06 PM

Thanks for reading my post Dararamm. You're right, seeing her with someone right now would mess me up beyond repair, I'd have to sign up for the Army or something. I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to see her with someone, so maybe we can never be friends, which s*cks.

Thing is, I think the reason that I keep thinking about that is because I miss her so much, and I want to see her again. And I guess I'm hoping that I'll be able to win her back, but that's just false hope of course. When (if?) I've healed enough to actually just think of her as a friend, I have a feeling I won't really be interested anyway.

Something_Here · Dec 6, 2009, 04:40 PM

Today it's been 2 months since she dumped me, so I've been thinking about her a lot today. I just made the mistake of looking at her FB page for the second time since the break-up. She's updated her profile pic (which is all I can see, since I unfriended her), and she was smiling and looking all cute. Mistake on my part, a painful one. I just miss her so much. At least there's an upward trend, although I sometimes feel like a snail scaling Mt. Everest or something.

friend4u178 · Dec 6, 2009, 05:02 PM

Facebook is the Devil when it comes to breakups , hopefully this is a lesson learnt and you don't go back there. There's nothing to gain by looking so it's a lose lose.

vanheart · Dec 6, 2009, 06:20 PM

Curiosity killed the cat.

Something_Here · Dec 9, 2009, 10:32 AM

I just saw my ex. I was at my local supermarket, and just as I was getting my stuff, there she was, in the beginning of the line, waving at me and smiling kind of shyly. Her hair's a bit longer now, just the way I like it. She looked all that. I just gave her a nod and left without waiting. Maybe she thought that was weird, but whatever. I was barely able to make it home before I started crying. I miss her so much it's actually painful. I just want her back. Goddammit, I miss you so much.

amicon · Dec 9, 2009, 10:39 AM

I'm sorry for your pain. You handled yourself well if that helps to know. You'll get past this bump in the road too.

vanheart · Dec 9, 2009, 10:42 AM

Yes, way to go.

Every time we jump one of these hurdles, we get stronger.

Just takes time.

Something_Here · Dec 11, 2009, 06:33 AM

I actually had a pretty good dip just because of that one short glimpse, amazing how fragile I am at this point. It almost seems a little unfair, I hardly think she was messed up because of it (not that I want her to be). I've spent the night at my mother's place, it helps to break the routine and get away a bit. I feel better now.

On a side note though, I just stepped on the scale, and I've lost almost 20lbs since before the break-up. I wasn't very big to begin with, now I'm downright skinny, and I can definitely feel the effects of it. Good thing Crhistmas is coming up :)

amicon · Dec 11, 2009, 06:44 AM

I'm happy you've recovered from the dip,now you won't have to go through that again. Make sure you put some weight back on over the hols-double helpings!

aiyerrc · Dec 11, 2009, 09:07 AM

Sorry I read a few of your first posts, then the recent ones, did you say how long you dated? By the sounds of the healing process it was a while, and I'm very sorry its hurt you so deeply... im sure you have heard more than enough times that it takes TIME, some longer than others. You will heal. Surprise sightings of exes are rarely handled in a calm and cool way. Hell, me and my ex are decent friends, and I still get tongue tied when I unexpectedly see her... I don't know how attached you are to Facebook, but why not delete it? I deleted mine about 4 months ago, and you will be shocked and how little it matters if you do frequent the site. Its hard man, you are preaching to the choir, but we are hear for you, and so are your family and friends. Reach out to them if you already haven't. Don't keep this bottled in whatever you do. A great medicine to a hurting heart is letting people in... it feels good. I hope things turn around for you, man I really do. I wish you best of luck in the future... there are so many girls out there, you have no idea! How old are you by the way?

aiyerrc · Dec 11, 2009, 09:10 AM

Don't let your body suffer brother, take care of yourself, and the rest will come. Don't let your grades slip(I assume your in school) you need to focus on yourself... harder than it sounds but getting rid of the physical evidence of her is a start: out of sight, out of mind

Something_Here · Dec 11, 2009, 02:46 PM

@aiyerrc: Thanks for posting, it goes a long way. How long did we date? This is going to be embarrassing... With all the b'ing and moaning I've been doing since day 1, you'd think we went to kindergarten together. My reaction has not been proportionate to the duration of the relationship. We first met and hooked up at a party last summer. There was some contact and texting through last fall, but it wasn't until early January that we really started dating, so we were really only a couple for nine months. That may sound ridiculous, but this girl really got under my skin. In the beginning I didn't care much at all, but over time I fell deeply in love with her, and her leaving me has been absolutely devastating. I've never felt this way about a girl before. Coming here was a major stroke of luck, I'm so glad I have you guys helping me.

I talked a lot with friends in the beginning, but not so much anymore. I talk to my mother about what's going on though, and I agree that spilling your heart out really helps. I really hope things turn around as well, and I'll have to work to make it happen, because I'm so tired now. My school performance has taken a hit. I keep thinking about how she's probably doing fine, but then I try to tell myself that if she's moved on, then so should I. I'm a grad student in business school, so I need to get my focus back. At least I can spend more time on school now.

I can't delete my FB account altogether, because I would miss out on a lot of social arrangements, but I will try to log on less frequently. Oh, and my age; I recently turned 25.

Something_Here · Dec 24, 2009, 03:35 PM

Merry Christmas! :) How's everybody holding up through the holidays? I volunteered at a church-run charity event today, best Christmas I've had in years.

amicon · Dec 24, 2009, 06:27 PM

That sounds great!
Its freezing cold here and lots of snow.
Merry Xmas!

Something_Here · Dec 27, 2009, 12:15 PM

I got a text from the ex. I was wondering if she would send me one. I figured I'd feel a little validated if she did, knowing that at least she hasn't completely forgotten about me, but still knowing that I would be better off if she didn't. I was right. Anyway, here's what she wrote:

"Merry Christmas... It's been a while since we've talked. I was just wondering how you're doing. Do you still want to avoid all contact?"

I thought maybe I'd write a short text back saying merry Christmas, hope you're having fun, and that I still think it's too early to meet. Any thoughts?

amicon · Dec 27, 2009, 12:25 PM

Yes. Don't do it!

emopunk7 · Dec 27, 2009, 12:55 PM

SomethingHere... I was going out with my ex and after 9 months, I felt things change and she even said she doesn't feel the same anymore. I forced our relationship after that but still after another 8 months we really did break up. Then after 6 months she started contacting me and then we started going out and it lasted another year and 9 months. Then she broke up with me again. Don't do it man. I wish I didn't have to suffer right now. Just keep trying to be happy single and then your next relationship with another beautiful amazing girl will be much more special. You will see. It always happens. If it didn't work once, it won't ever work. Hang in there and instead just use her text as a strength towards recovery. She is still thinking of you. Use that and know that you are awesome and she lost out. Hang in there and you will feel great.