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Dreaming07 · Sep 29, 2009, 05:36 AM

It's a long story. I will make it as short as possible. I was with my children's father for almost 11 yrs. The last few years were leading up to our break up due to his drug use and lies. I fell out of love with him etc.. I was miserable. There was a guy in my neighborhood I would say was my eye candy for the past 4 yrs. But he was in a relationship and so was I. I would never cheat no matter the situation. I kicked my children's father out last November. It was so random that the guy I had my eye on ended up being my child's soccer coach. He also was just out of a relationship since last October. In January we started talking a little more here and there but nothimg too serious. In March we talked all he time, everyday, he would meet me and we would hang out etc. We had a lot in common and he seemed like a great guy.For once I actually felt happy. Moving on... June we slept together twice, he told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me. I felt at that time we could work things out but I didn't want everyone knowing our business until we figured it out ourselves. In July I wrote him a letter saying I was confused and didn't know what I wanted because I was scared. He was really pissed but ended up coming back around because he said he couldn't deny what his heart felt. Then when I said we could be open about us he basically disappeared. Now he treats me like crap, tells me we can be friends but not bring up the past, he acts funny towards me. So I decided that I could not be friends with him. I am crushed. I feel so heart broken. He doesn't seem to even care. Am I a rebound? What do I do? I have been out of the dating scene for a long time and I don't know what's going on!

troy70 · Sep 29, 2009, 08:39 AM

It is very possible you were the rebound. He could very well have found another person... If he would tell he can't deny how his heart feels for you then be cold and awkward very soon after, something fishy is going on.

As far as not being friends with him, I think that was a big step. Did you try talking to him to get the answer about his weirdness? You are crushed but it seems you're the one who gave him the run around.

You told him your confused and scared after you guys were hanging out everyday and had had intercourse, then after you said he treated you like crap you dropped him like a bad habit. I think you need some time to yourself to get back in check and realize that there are all kinds of different people out there and the signals you send can have very different affects on them.

As far as this neighbor, screw him. If he wants to be an jerk then move on. Don't let him bring you down. Do you have a group of friends? Hang out with them, let them know your situation as far as dating, they are there to help!

Best of luck

amicon · Sep 29, 2009, 08:40 AM

Nobody can say what goes on in his mind it might have been too soon for both of you to become involved with anyone after your breakups.
The way you describe it he s not worth bothering about.
His not behaving like a friend so best have as little contact as possible-if any.

winding200 · Sep 29, 2009, 10:24 AM

Then when I said we could be open about us he basically disappeared.

Hi dreaming,
It does not matter it was a rebound or not. He does not care for you at all, it means he was not in love with you as you thought to be. Why do you care for someone disrespect you and treat you like a dirt?

You came out from the long unhappy marriage, and you learned the lesson that bad relationship is so painful, and you have to pay high cost to get out from it. Please do not repeat the mistake again, set the rules to be perfectly happy at this time. Do not settle down with less. Make a perfect man chase you as a dream girl, not to chase him. If he was mean to be yours, he would chase you, but he was not. Even not close. You need to move on.

Please do not waste of your time even for a minute to figure things out over dead person. It is just useless. He slept with you a couple of times. That was it. Please focus on yourself, recharge your positive energy rather, and start your new journey to find the 'right man' for your future. You deserve happiness not a cold treatment. Being a single is a golden opportunity to find the right person for your happy future. There are so many nice men out there looking for nice girls. Make a constructive plan to find them. Dream big and be happy! I wish your best luck.