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    grayeyes22's Avatar
    grayeyes22 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 27, 2009, 02:16 PM
    4 years and I still don't know if I'm the one
    I met my current boyfriend my freshman year of college and we have been together for 4 years. After about 3 years, I started getting antsy because he has never officially told me that I'm "the one". Both of his parents have had numerous divorces, so he is kind of weird when it comes to this type of stuff. He says he doesn't want to tell me forever because "you never know what could happen". He didn't want to live together just yet, we got into a fight, and I honestly lost interest in keeping our relationship so serious because I felt like it was a high school relationship stuck on a plateau. I'm honestly not ready for a ring, I'm 22 years old and still have a couple of years of schooling ahead of me. However, am I asking too much for wanting complete commitment? After a major fight last December, I decided to take a break and talked with several other guys. My boyfriend and I got back together. I still talk with some of those guys. I feel like I'm going to be that girl that dates a guy for 10 years waiting on him to marry her, only to have him dump me and marry the next girl within 6 months so I keep my options open. I used to think he was the one, but all of this waiting around on him I'm starting to have my doubts. I love my boyfriend and we have a lot of fun together, but do you think I'm wasting my time?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Sep 27, 2009, 02:32 PM

    Knowing the way he feels,if he did produce the commitment,would you accept it?

    Would you be comfortable knowing you forced the issue?

    I would be asking a different question...

    Not am I the one for him,but is he the one for me..

    Put him aside for a moment,and look at what you want,it sounds from your post that you would like a bit of freedom...

    In a way he is right,there are no definites,no one can tell what the future holds and how relationships will pan out.

    People don't stay together because a piece of paper tells them to,they stay together because they want to be together...

    You have to ask yourself,is this relationship for me?

    Has it run its course?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 27, 2009, 02:45 PM

    After four years, if he does not know, you are not
    troy70's Avatar
    troy70 Posts: 66, Reputation: 14
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    #4

    Sep 27, 2009, 02:46 PM

    Your 22! I say you go have fun with the other guys you made contact with :). Get your school done, get your career situated, make that money, THEN worry about commitments! <3
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #5

    Sep 27, 2009, 02:56 PM

    If he hasn't decided if you're the one and you're having these doubts then don't waste your time. I don't mean to sound harsh at all but if you were committed to him, I don't think you would still be talking to the guys that you were seeing when you were on a break. You know what I mean?
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