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LifeAfterYou · Sep 27, 2009, 12:29 AM

Hello everyone. I was just wondering why I am so loveless. I was just wondering if I ll ever meet a girl or have a girlfriend? It just seems like there are no girls interested in me and I don't know why... I mean I think I am likeable. Maybe its because I am shy but I think if someone takes the time to know me, they might like me. I am 20 years old and everyone I know is with someone and I feel sad whenever I see them happy together.

chanelpumpkin · Sep 27, 2009, 12:58 AM

Don't worry, you just haven't the right girl yet. Also maybe try doing new things so you are able to meet new people to create more opportunities in your life.

paxe · Sep 27, 2009, 01:11 AM

We all feel like that sometimes, but pumpkin is right. The more people you meet and the more sociable you are, the easier it will get to find someone.

Clough · Sep 27, 2009, 01:13 AM

Hi, LifeAfterYou!

What sort of things do you already like to do that might be fun to do with others, please?

Thanks!

summer7 · Sep 27, 2009, 02:07 AM

Hi,
If you are shy as you say.. the best way to meet your love is to get involved in activities you like. Think about what you like to do and join a club or group. You will meet like minded girls and will be able to see them constantly at meetings and get-togethers. Since these are activities you enjoy, you will have the confidence to talk about them with the girls you meet. You sound like a nice guy... hang in there! Your love is just around the corner. You are young.

LifeAfterYou · Sep 27, 2009, 09:28 AM

Hey guys thanks for replying.

Some of the things I like doing is playing volleyball but I'm not really good at it. Plus I like playing my guitar and again I'm not really good at it also. I don't know what kind of activities or clubs I can join.

redhed35 · Sep 27, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by LifeAfterYou

Hey guys thanks for replying.

Some of the things i like doing is playing volleyball but im not really good at it. Plus i like playing my guitar and again im not really good at it also. I dont know what kind of activities or clubs i can join.

You could take lessons...

The thing is YOU have to get out there,and you need to put yourself out there,let friends and family know you are single,you might be surprised who they know!

Drama groups are good for building confidence..

Being confident is attractive,work on the aspects of your personality that you feel need a little work.

Join a gym,meet new people and get healthy,go swimming!. learn how to swim if you cant.

Love starts with loving yourself,learn your worth,and enjoy the journey... if you wait and wait for someone to come along,your wasting time when you could be getting to know you...

Cat1864 · Sep 27, 2009, 09:51 AM

Learning to be more comfortable with yourself can also be a confidence booster.

One way I work on my own shyness is to look around see if there is anyone who looks like they feel more out of place than I do and with a smile say hello to them. It can help you feel better by helping someone else feel more comfortable.

Volunteer work is a good way to meet new people not just girls. You can find opportunities in just about every area of interest from animal related to educational, etc.

Try to make sure that your own insecurities aren't causing you to overlook someone who is just as shy.

Just Looking · Sep 27, 2009, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by LifeAfterYou

Hey guys thanks for replying.

Some of the things i like doing is playing volleyball but im not really good at it. Plus i like playing my guitar and again im not really good at it also. I dont know what kind of activities or clubs i can join.

I play on volleyball leagues and it's a lot of fun. You might see if your city has a program. We play once a week while the league is active, and afterwards everyone goes out for a drink or dinner. It's quite casual, if you get on the right team. You could even put your own team together. You don't have to be good, just have fun and improve as you go. :) I also play in a softball league, and even played kickball one year. I'd check into what is available in your city.

Are you in school? Have you thought of taking guitar lessons?

It is more difficult when you are shy, but there are plenty of shy girls out there too. You would make their day if you took the time to get to know them.

summer7 · Sep 27, 2009, 09:56 AM

Well, volleyball doesn't really get you talking with the girls and guitar is more of a solitary activity. Why not try a cooking class? It is very "in" for guys to cook nowadays. Girls love guys that can cook! The cutest, macho firemen all know how to cook!! This is a very social activity. You will meet lots of girls here. Even if you aren't good at cooking, it will bring out the girl's nurturing side to want to help you out. Plus, everyone shares a meal together at the end. Very fun. Good luck!

LifeAfterYou · Sep 27, 2009, 10:19 AM

Yup I'm in school now, well in college. I have taken guitar lessons for about 5 years now and I would like to start a band but its hard finding one.

Plus my school has a gym just for students although I don't go as much anymore. In the summer I joined a gym and I worked out almost every other day, now that school started its down to at least once a week plus I don't want to walk that far.

I have been thinking about volunteering at an animal hospital but I never got around to it, and I'm going to look into finding a recreational volleyball team. : )

Cooking class? LOL not my cup of tea. Although there is no hurt trying it. But pretty much there is a lot of things going in my life and I am pretty busy most of the time, its just it gets lonely sometimes. So many things I want to do but haven't got around to it.

Just Looking · Sep 27, 2009, 10:27 AM

I can tell you it's easier meeting people when you are in school than after you graduate. I'd encourage you to use this time to practice your skills in meeting girls. Classrooms are a way to start. Don't look at it as meeting a girl to date but just practice talking to them and being friendly.

I have a feeling you are very humble. You have been taking guitar lessons for 5 years and want to start a band - that sounds like you are more than "not really good" at playing the guitar. I know I love to listen to a guy play the guitar, and if he sings decently so much the better. Use it to your advantage. :)

Actually, the cooking class seems like a good idea. Summer is right that girls really appreciate a guy who can cook. It also gives you another thing to talk about to girls.

Colleges offer a lot of clubs and activities. While you need to concentrate on studying, don't make it all about studying. College is so much more than that. Good luck.

LifeAfterYou · Sep 27, 2009, 10:42 AM

Yup I have always wanted to pursue music as my career but for some reason I am studying something else.

But yah I'm not really sure how to approach girls in class. Usually I wait for them to approach me but I guess girls like it when the guys approach them instead.

But yah I have joined the choir at school, planning on taking up karate. There are so many things to do.

DerelictHerds · Sep 27, 2009, 11:18 AM

Originally Posted by LifeAfterYou

But yah im not really sure how to approach girls in class. Usually i wait for them to approach me but i guess girls like it when the guys approach them instead.

For sure. Shows confidence.

Originally Posted by LifeAfterYou

i would like to start a band but its hard finding one.

Let's start one. Live in NC?

Just Looking · Sep 27, 2009, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by LifeAfterYou

Yup i have always wanted to pursue music as my career but for some reason i am studying something else.

But yah im not really sure how to approach girls in class. Usually i wait for them to approach me but i guess girls like it when the guys approach them instead.

But yah i have joined the choir at school, planning on taking up karate. There are so many things to do.

I was thinking about your posts a while ago. There are so many things you are interested in trying that I wonder if you are overloading on them and therefore not doing them. Why don't you just pick a few things to start, and when they are established think about others? In other words, you might try prioritizing your interests.

When it comes to talking to girls, don't overthink it. Remember, girls like talking to guys. Keep it simple and real. Smile, and if they smile back say hi. Anything to start that is nice will work - ask how they are doing, introduce yourself, just keep it simple.

none12345 · Sep 27, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by DerelictHerds

For sure. Shows confidence.

Let's start one. Live in NC?

NC as in North Carolina? Nope. Would have loved to start one.

CanIBuyAClue · Sep 27, 2009, 09:52 PM

Don't worry, there's sometbody out there for you. I didn't have my first serious girlfriend until I was 23... I had dated girls and stuff, but nothing longer than a month or two. It does happen, I was just too busy with sports, or school, or something. Didn't have time for a girlfriend until I joined the working world after graduating college :) . Just be yourself, do everything you can to just be the best you that you can be. Somebody will come along when you're not even expecting it.

LifeAfterYou · Sep 27, 2009, 10:05 PM

Yup, I think you're right justlooking. I have so many things I want to do and maybe its time I start prioritizing.

I have a few friends that are girls and we are really close but only because they were introduced by my friends. Other than that I don't talk to many girls and I would love to but I just don't know how.

I don't live in NC.

CanIbuyaclue, I had a girlfriend for about a year a few years ago but we broke up. But you're right I don't have time for a girlfriend because if I do I won't have time to do the things I want to. Maybe having friends that are girls would be a better goal LOL for now.