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    Jim2513's Avatar
    Jim2513 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 19, 2009, 07:26 AM
    First True Girlfriend of 3 years caused great pain
    Hi, me and my girlfriend 23 met at the end of college and have been dating ever since for over 2 and half years until recently a month ago she started acting weird and distant and I eventually found out she was trying to hide that she was sleeping with another man. I found out she had sex with a married man who is a bus driver with 2 kids and a wife in the back of his car and then I found plan be pills in her garbage. Obviously she isn't good at hiding evidence. She continued to lie after to cover it up and then I saw her texts to him which pretty much confirmed it. The man is twice her age. She's known for having low self esteem and no confidence with no self control. We had so many mutual friends and she lost the respect of many of them but it didn't seem to phase her as she's still so into this guy. She claimed to my friends that it was exciting and the sex was great. After the incident in the first week I tried to act calm and she wanted to work things out so I guess we rushed into reconciliation without any space apart. Later that week I found out that she was still calling him. That made me furious and I torn her apart on the phone saying I never wanted to talk to her again out of pure rage and not thinking clearly. I felt so bad the new few days so I contacted her again if she wanted to hang out and talk about this. It seemed like after that she just totally turned the off switch on me and started having tunnel vision to move on without me. We went through a week with no contact after but then we had seldom online conversations where she would ask me who I'm seeing or who I'm going on this trip with and nothing else which I never responded to. She told me how she stopped seeing him for a while already which I know is probably BS and that she just thought we weren't compatible which is also BS for saying I like this other guy more. Eventually I went through another week and a half of no contact with her asking me couple things about me that I ignored. Then after a week and a half I instant messaged her to see how she's doing. We had a nice conversation and I initiated to ask her if she wanted to hang out to make things less awkward. She never replied my answer. This is just so tiring and I think I'm just going to have to stop with my efforts and go into no contact totally. I really loved her but as the days go by I just start losing feelings for her. Looking back it seemed more of like a one way relationship where I did most of the work and she took it for granted. Sorry if It was long. I hope you guys can give some feedback thanks!
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Sep 19, 2009, 07:38 AM

    I think your on the right path...

    No contact.

    Stick with it.

    She cheated on you---she does not love you.

    Your doing the right thing,keep no contact,don't go back and forward...
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Sep 19, 2009, 07:44 AM

    Good riddence to her. It hurst now but give yourself time to heal and end the contact with her... in time you will see how much better off you are. You don't deserve to be treated that way so don't let her low self esteem problems hurt yourself esteem. Good luck!
    jimseekinadvice's Avatar
    jimseekinadvice Posts: 63, Reputation: 42
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:06 AM

    yes, no contact, never just settle look for the best. Cheating is never acceptable in my opinion. Disappear from her life and find someone 10x better. She'll probably come crawling back after a while, by then you won't even want her.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:17 AM
    Be glad that you found about that she was cheating. You had your good imes with her, but now it's time to move on with your life to bigger and better things. She's in the past, just keep moving forward and don't look back anymore.

    It's good that you're going into no contact. Don't allow yourself to fall back into that trap again. Keep your head up. With time, things will get better.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:56 AM

    Don't you have better things to do than dwell over a relationship that's long been over?
    bswc's Avatar
    bswc Posts: 197, Reputation: 22
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    #7

    Sep 19, 2009, 10:51 AM
    Deleted for chat/text

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html
    Jim2513's Avatar
    Jim2513 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Sep 19, 2009, 12:28 PM

    Thank you all for your advice. I'm going to make sure this time I won't break no contact for whatever reason as tempting as it maybe sometimes. I have been keeping myself busy going on couple vacations and trying to go out every night and working out. I understand its foolish to dwell over something that's it gone and I'm slowly getting rid of that need that I was use to and I must say I felt really good the week and half that I didn't talk to her.

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