[solodurden]

There's a girl I have fallen head over heels for. I met her when my best friend liked her, then she was in all my classes and I started to like her then she went back to her very creepy and unstable ex-bf, then she turned me down, then we became close friends, then she dumped her ex then seemed like she started to like me. Then the summer came. Didn't hear from her, then we hung out just us, then didn't hear from her again, then sparingly, then I heard that she was talking to her ex again. Then I saw her but didn't say anything. I really want to pursue her, but am afraid of rejection and I don't like telling people I don't like them and therefore am afraid of taking a stance against her ex, who I know, from several accounts of dear friends of mine, to be a stalker, and unstable. I've let 3 weeks go by since trying to talk to her. We're in college now, which means it's very difficult to see each other. She's bad with answering/replying to anything be it phone, email, text but told me once that if she doesn't answer she's busy and that I should keep trying. I stopped trying, and now realize I did it out of fear of success and failure. I want this girl more than anything. I know she's had feelings for me before. She always runs back to her ex whenever anything gets scary however, almost like a creepy older guy naïve younger girl situation you see on Dateline. Any help? Any advice? Please?

[I wish]

How far apart are you guys?

She sounds pretty unstable and unsure of what she wants. Furthermore, she's difficult to get a hold of, so you're not going to be able to talk to her much and allow her to get to know you better.

Feelings can't be forced. If you guys had time to get close, then she had time to possibily develop feelings for you. However, that doesn't seem like the case. It sounds like she just wants a friendship. Otherwise, she would make a bigger effort at contacting you.

You can tell her how you feel and put the ball in her court. However, be prepared for rejection, because it looks more likely that she just wants a friendship with you.

You're in college now. So there's plenty of new people to meet. Don't limit yourself to someone who keeps crawling back to her ex.