[muse-72]

My husband of three months sat me down the other day and said he loves me to bits and thinks I am the most wonderful person out there; however he thinks he has married his best friend and that he cannot touch me in a sexual manner as it feels like he is touching a family member. He then walked out and moved back onto a room on the army base where our house is - leaving me on my own at home.

When we were dating and even after we were first married we had no problems in this department at all - it is only the past four weeks that thinks have been different. Partly because I was away dealing with a family issue for three weeks and only returned last Thursday. My husband is in the army and since we have been married have probably only spent around three or four weeks together in our home. We have had little or no time together owing to one thing or another and have not spent any quality time together since we have been married.

He has agreed to go to counselling with me; however when I made the appointment for today he could not attend due to work. Do I take this as a sign that we are destined to split as I love him dearly and he says he love me to bits.

Has anyone experience this in their relationships whereby their partner has a psychological block when it comes to intimacy? That they feel it is wrong. This has truly came out of the blue and has knocked me sideways - I am devastated as he initially asked me for a divorce and is now saying we can see what happens re counselling. Is he playing me for a fool?

Many thanks and sorry for the rambles.

[artlady]

To make a complete turn around in his feelings is very suspicious from my vantage point.
Why did he marry you if he felt this way?
Is there any possibility he is involved with another woman?

[I wish]

He's told you how he feels. He initially asked for a divorce, but now he's willing to go to counselling to work on the marriage. He seems very confused about his emotions. Because of his contradiction, you can't take anything he says too seriously. Accept that's he's lost and confused and he's trying to figure things out.

You're in the control seat. The question is, what do you want? Do you want to give this marriage a chance and take the necessary steps to rebuild the relationship? Or do you believe that things are too far gone to be repaired and it's time to call it quits?

[talaniman]

You go to counseling to find out what the real deal is. How long have you known him, and how well do you know his family??

There is no telling what's buried in his brain.