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    Supa Ninja's Avatar
    Supa Ninja Posts: 7, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Aug 27, 2009, 09:40 AM
    A little guidance from the wise would be grand!
    Right now in my life there are too many things going on... Too many options. I need focus so I would love some guidance and direction from someone who is older and wiser than myself...

    I'm in the my mid 20s and just moved to NYC after a year of travel to get back into pursuing my love of music. I already had success in this field in Atlanta and wanted to move up to the big leagues but even though I have family here I don't really like NYC. (6 months in) its too many people not enough trees and nature. I have a steady job I don't like that much but I also have some solid connections.

    My good friends back in Atlanta are doing big things in music scene starting up a label themselves and getting a lot of hype from what I've researched. A lot is going on and they want me to come back and be apart of it all.

    The girl I love to death of 8 months is moving to Seattle for school.


    So do I...
    A) Continue pursuing my passion in the big leagues, so far the biggest challenge of my life, and potentially stumble upon an amazing oppourtunity in a city that I don't like (so far... its NYC so its tough you know!) I have support of siblings and extended family here.

    B) Go back to the city I grew up in with my childhood friends and try and build something great together! I've already had success here in the past.

    C) Go with the amazing girl to Seattle, which isn't too shabby on the music scene and pursue an adventure and my passion with somebody I love... (only been together for 8 months, but a glorious 8 months)

    I would love some 3rd party advice, as everybody I ask in my life says I should go where they are LOL. This site rocks!

    Thanks
    Supa Ninja
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Aug 27, 2009, 09:42 AM

    HAND UP WAVING !!


    Choose C, pleasssssssssseeeeeeeeee


    Tick
    Supa Ninja's Avatar
    Supa Ninja Posts: 7, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Aug 27, 2009, 09:48 AM

    Haha,
    Are you my girlfriend in disguise?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #4

    Aug 27, 2009, 10:01 AM

    OK... for me its always a battle to follow my heart or my head.. im 37 and starting college to pursue my dream. A dream I have held onto for nearly 20 years.. it was never fulfilled because I put other people before myself...

    Sometimes you have to be selfish.
    Sometimes the only person who understands how much your dream means is YOU.

    Whatever you choose to do,make that choice based on what is the best thing for you at this point in your life.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #5

    Aug 27, 2009, 10:18 AM

    In some situations, choosing logically is the way to go. In your case, that means pick the place that will help advice your passion for music the most.

    I'm going to go against the flow of things. Try it this way: Where does your heart want to be?
    Supa Ninja's Avatar
    Supa Ninja Posts: 7, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Aug 27, 2009, 10:39 AM
    That is my problem though. Right now my heart wants all 3... They're just all physically in different places. Lets put it this way:

    In your mid 20's, when you want take a challenge head on and achieve your dreams do you:

    A) do you it on your own in the place with the biggest opportunity (and challenge)

    B) do it with your friends in a place with slightly less opportunity, but more resources...

    C) do it with the girl you love deeply on an adventure in a place you know nothing about...

    NYC, friends or girl, NYC friends or girl, it literally makes me feel sick and dizzy thinking about it.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #7

    Aug 27, 2009, 10:46 AM

    If your heart is split, that solves part of it.

    Here are other things for you to consider:

    1) Set your priorities straight. What's most important to you? Once you've established your priorities, then pick the city/place that will help you achieve your priority.

    2) For example, let's say your music dream is your priority. What support systems would help you achieve your dreams? Family support? (New York) Girlfriend support? (Seattle) Familiarity support? (Atlanta) Friends support? (Atlanta)

    3) Is the support system important to you? Or is the city with the most opportunities more important?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #8

    Aug 27, 2009, 11:25 AM
    [QUOTE=Supa Ninja;1948393]haha,
    Are you my girlfriend in disguise?[/QUOTE

    Happiness is being with the one you want to be with, doing something you truly enjoy, supa dear.

    Mis tickle
    Supa Ninja's Avatar
    Supa Ninja Posts: 7, Reputation: 4
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    #9

    Aug 27, 2009, 03:11 PM

    True true... all good advice. I just have this intense fear that I will grow older and say... "I should have gone for it in the big leagues." It also says "I shouldn't have let that girl get away" and I don't want to be turning the pages in rolling stone 5 years from now seeing my best friends label on the cover. It all seems to stem back to what I think my biggest fear in life is -- a missed opportunity...

    I don't want to make this decision based on fear though... thoughts?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #10

    Aug 27, 2009, 03:24 PM

    You're presented with 3 opportunities. You pick one and don't look back. Focus on making the most of the opportunity that you choose.

    Once you make your choice, don't look back. The more time you spend reviewing your decision, the less time you have on making a better future.

    If you're that concerned about regretting, then pick the one that you feel that you have the most chances to succeed.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #11

    Aug 27, 2009, 03:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Supa Ninja View Post

    I don't want to make this decision based on fear though... thoughts?!
    Then I don't think you are mature enough to make this decision based on all of this input, and you will get more input. I would like you to say after reading all of it that you know what you want to do. We all make decisions based on how we feel, not what others say. I have never ever asked anyone to decide for me. I do what I want to do and have made some bad choices, but that is what life is all about, Supa Make one bad, make one good and then move on and all of the choices make you a whole person making good decisions that make you happy and govern the rest of your life... but... this all comes with maturity and I don't think you are there yet, or you wouldn't be here dithering.

    Just tell us what you want to do.

    Tick
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #12

    Aug 28, 2009, 02:06 AM
    I would not move across the country to a total unknown, to start over with establishing music connections and opportunities. That seems like going backwards with your career instead of going forward from what you already have.

    Why can't she move with you if you leave NY?

    I would stick out where you are now, give it your best shot, and after six months if it doesn't seem like anything is going to happen, consider moving six months to Atlanta where you have established ties, musically, and personally.

    I see it that you have much to lose by going to Seattle. If you put her first, and your music second (being that Seattle is an unknown), it may be a really big mistake.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #13

    Aug 28, 2009, 02:20 PM

    Seattle sounds good to me.

    My boyfriend wants to move to get into music
    I was wondering about Atlanta.

    I think Seattle and Montery, Ca. are suppose to be good places for musicians.
    zippit's Avatar
    zippit Posts: 693, Reputation: 117
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    #14

    Aug 28, 2009, 02:27 PM

    Hey supa
    You can do two at the same time
    Follow your heart your love your girl
    And at the same time keep your connects. And build off them if you got it?
    Man the dream will come
    Remember behind every big man is what?
    Not a sister,cousin or homey
    Its your girl! Bless
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #15

    Aug 30, 2009, 07:04 PM

    How old you are OP?

    I will choose A.
    spoilsport's Avatar
    spoilsport Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:12 AM

    Wow, lucky you!!

    1)
    Hmmm you can visit your girl on holidays.. she goes to school right?
    You can maintain contacts with your contacts in NY (you can visit them when you go to see your girl)
    And be a part of your home team

    2) Go with your girl, visit your siblings in NY and unwind in your hometown

    3)
    Stay in NY.. keep trying to see if something clicks. Ask your girl to come withyou to your home town.

    You can try putting weitage to each of the things like a) spending time with girl b)music c) your hometown d) being with siblings etc..
    And add them up to make the decision..
    Good luck.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #17

    Sep 23, 2009, 05:33 PM
    Personally I'm the type of person who just do the things I want to do, and there are VERY few decisions I've regretted. Regret is no way to live.

    Besides... the choice is ultimately yours to make and you should do what feels right (or at least feels more right then something else) How about the classic Pro/Con list?

    All of your choices can be undone, and by that I mean if you stay in NYC for a few more months you can always move to Atlanta or Seattle... and so on.

    Also finding out what you feel is more important in the now will benefit you, if music is no.1 priority, and you feel you really have a shot at the big leagues, then staying in NYC for a few more months might not be so bad, even though you find it dreadful. But If you feel that you might have a better way of making it in Atlanta, and that the things your friends are doing down there will benefit you more, both in the aspects of a personal-musical journey and on a professional-musical journey.. then why not?

    As for Seattle, this is the place that is the least known to you from what I gather, so musically you would either try to find out if someone you know has connections there to get you started, or you'll have to start from scratch... which to me seems like a pretty big sacrifice.

    But like I said, the choice is yours...

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