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ohsohappy · Aug 9, 2009, 12:26 AM

A couple of times when I had sex with my boyfriend I had to pass air from well.. . I guess my uterus? Anyway, it's not something I could control or "hold in" like in other situations. Anyway, when it happened he got freaked out about it and said it was messed up because he thought it was something else. So I explained to him what actually happened and he doesn't believe that I can't control it. He thinks it's something I can just "hold in" as if it were, well, a fart. But it isn't. It makes me feel embarrassed now if it happens again even though it's perfectly normal and beyond my control. What should I do to help him understand so that I no longer feel self conscious about it? (were 19) Would just age or maturity have something to to with it?

HelpinHere · Aug 9, 2009, 12:48 AM

If it is really something natural you can't prevent, then he should be comfortable with it.

If he isn't mature enough to be comfortable with bodily functions, then he shouldn't be having sex. I know, while he is having sex is different, but if he makes such a big deal of it, then that still shows his lack of maturity.

My opinion. Someone else may think different.

bronzebabe · Aug 9, 2009, 09:04 AM

The noise you are hearing is commonly called a "queef", and it is from the air being pushed into you while you are having sex.
If your boyfriend can't handle that kind of noise, he should not be having sex, at all.
All people make noises, but that's life.

shazamataz · Aug 9, 2009, 09:12 AM

It's very common.

My partner and I laugh about it when it happens. It is nothing to be embarrassed about and if your boyfriend doesn't know anything about sex then he shouldn't be having it.

If he simply refuses to believe you then it's time to find someone a bit more caring and who actually knows about sex.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 9, 2009, 11:08 AM

Sounds like a jerk of a boyfriend

Gemini54 · Aug 9, 2009, 05:07 PM

It's a noise that come from your vagina, not your uterus, and it happens because he's pushing his penis in and out of it.

Look it up on Google, print it out and give it to him.

Then tell him to get over it. Life is full of strange noises.

excon · Aug 9, 2009, 05:17 PM

Hello:

Queef, huh? I LOVE this site.

excon

ohsohappy · Aug 9, 2009, 11:24 PM

He's not really a jerk, it's just for some reason the noise just freaks him out. I'll try to talk to him again. He gets embarrassed if He farts around me or something. I think it's just the noise for some reason like it's embarrassing to him or something, IDK.

weathrzthestorm · Aug 9, 2009, 11:42 PM

I agree, it sounds like he is being immature about it. Print up info for him to read.

That happens to me on occasion, also, and it is not strange at all. Sometimes when I am on top it makes it worse. Also if he is pulling completely out and then going in over and over it can push more air inside. Maybe try to avoid those situations and it will stop. Tell him you want to experiment with different positions to see which one will minimize the queefing?

If all else fails, remind him that he is lucky to be with a young girl with a tight vagina. If you were looser, it probably wouldn't make any noise on the way out. Or turn it around and say that it's because he is so "well-endowed" These may not be medically proven facts, but guys like to hear that kind of stuff. ;)

Good luck!

sweet1028 · Aug 10, 2009, 01:07 AM

It's normal; and anyway he should be enjoying the sex and pleasuring you, not what sounds are going on during the sex.

We don't pay attention to that kind of thing; it's really not on our minds at the time.

smoothy · Aug 10, 2009, 07:01 AM

He's a jerk.. and obviously doesn't know women well. It happened to every woman I ever slept with. And no you can't hold it in, tell him if it bothers him so much you just won't have sex with him, as that's the only cure. He'll get the message after a few weeks.

shazamataz · Aug 10, 2009, 07:37 AM

Wait until it happens during oral, then he will have something to complain about :D

ohsohappy · Aug 10, 2009, 10:59 AM

Thanks. :)

Justwantfair · Aug 10, 2009, 11:10 AM

Wow, all I can say is what an inconsiderate boyfriend you have.
He is using a normal bodily function that can not be controlled and allowing you to feel bad/guilty about it.
Queefs are caused by air entering the vagina during intercourse, if the air was not expelled it could be dangerous, especially if you are pregnant.
I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone that made me feel bad about something this normal.
It will happen with all his girlfriends.
I really hope for your sake, he grows up.

ohsohappy · Aug 10, 2009, 11:13 AM

I'll inform him of this if it happens again. Thank you. :)

jenniepepsi · Aug 10, 2009, 09:26 PM

Perfectly normal. During sex or not. But mainly during or after sex.

(incedentally, that REALLY is the accuall term for it. The term "queef" actually originates from the name of Saint Queef of Barnaby, whom you might have heard of in school or in your nightly recitation of the Litany. She was born Queef Mallery in the east of France in 1639. She aparently could pass air through her vagina at will, and preformed for circus'... if anyone was interested in expanding knowledge ;) )

If he is not mature enough to accept bodily functions such as a queef, anal fart, burp, etc... then he is not mature enough to be having sex, nor is he mature enough for a serious relationship.

I would suggest talking to him, explaining it to him. And if he still insists on being an immature butthole, I would say its time to move on.