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Make It Stop · Jul 21, 2009, 06:57 PM

I was with a girl for almost 5 years, and she broke up with me about six months ago, and I am a lot better off with out her, I haven't spoke to her at all I went to dinner with her about two months after the break up because I still wanted to be with her and hope to rekindle the relationship, but after I went out with her I was very disgusted with the way she presented herself, and the way she acted and only want to talk about herself. Anyway, she texts me like a once a week roughly maybe not as much, saying hey, or hi, and nothing more I guess seeing to see if I will answer. Like I don't think about her much anymore, but when someone brings her up my stomach drops and I just get sick to my stomach and stuff. I Just want to know if this crap will ever go away. I've come to the realization that I know for a fact it's over and done with, and will never be, I just want to be freed from this mental anguish. And another thing is why is she keep trying to contact me? Can't she get the hint, she wanted it over and me gone and I gave her what she wanted, like I always did.

Thanks.

s_cianci · Jul 21, 2009, 07:08 PM

It will go away eventually. Block her so she can't contact you. If someone else brings her up, change the subject.

vanheart · Jul 21, 2009, 07:09 PM

Go NC.
You are prolonging the pain by having any contact with her.
She knows you will still be there answer her texts & buy her dinner.
Show her who's in control now.

0EntitY · Jul 21, 2009, 07:34 PM

It's over when you consciously let go of her and decide to move on. As long as you hold on to any part of her, it will not be over for you, because you are not letting it be over. Look at the time you agreed there was still hope for this relationship. Cool, now be in the present and find someone you can care about and will care about you in return. Can you do this?

kctiger · Jul 22, 2009, 05:30 AM

I am fairly surprised you haven't blocked her number or changed yours. You can't get rid of a fly if you don't first disappear from it's life.

Five years is a long time, six months is a long time... that is a lot of our life and soon you will not want to waste one more second on some self absorbed female that enjoys carrying you as a puppet because YOU LET HER! Enough is enough and it is time to start living... tell others to not bring her up as well. She is dead to you, so talking about dead people serves no purpose.

TexasLonghorn · Jul 22, 2009, 06:25 AM

Wow 5 yrs is a long time. I can totally relate about that feeling in your stomach when someone mentions the ex's name. I hate it.

But like everyone said you must go NC. This is a scab and eveytime u have contact you pick it and it can not heal.

I have been single just a month... NC does help but that feeling in the stomach is no fun. Stay strong. We will all get through this.

I wish · Jul 22, 2009, 07:18 AM

There is a statistic that it takes about 2 months to recover every year that you've been together (sorry, I don't have a link). So in your case, it should take about 10 months or longer. Time heals all wounds.

But to help speed up the recovery, the others are right. You should find a way to block her from your phone, such as changing your number. But if changing your number is a hassle, the when you see that she sent you a text, don't open it, give your phone to someone you trust and tell that person to delete the text before you can read it.

Furthermore, if someone close to you brings her up, let that person know that you're not done recovering and that you would appreciate if they didn't bring her up until you've recovered.

The reason you're having a difficult time recovering is because every time you hear from her or hear about her, you reset some or a lot of the progress you've made. The best way to recover a little quicker is to pretend that she doesn't even exists. Block her out of your life entirely.

cdavison · Jul 22, 2009, 07:26 AM

Time heals all things. I don't know about two months for every year, but it will stop hurting eventually. The harder you felt for someone the harder it is to let go. Text her and just let her know you don't want to keep contact with her for now. She was in your life for a long time and it's going to be hard to cut her out completely but tell her for now you don't want anything to do with her and that you maybe friends later but not right now.