[LADY_123]

I have been dating for 2 years. We've moved in together. I'm 21 and he is 36. Age Difference... I know! My problem is he takes everything the wrong way. I love him! But, we have different views on how to raise children.

I have a 6 year old son. He has a 6 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. He thinks its okay to favor and baby his daughter. She can't fall asleep unless he rocks her to sleep. She can't sleep through out the night in her room she crawls into bed with us anywhere between 12am and 4am...

This is a major issue that needs to be corrected but he won't listen. He thinks she's a baby and she needs him. When we begin to talk about this he tells me not to complain she's his daughter and I basically have no right to comment on how he raises his child! Maybe I need to leave since this home clearly cannot be a family!

Keep in mind my son is independent, he sleeps on his own and does not wake up to lay with me... He knows I love him and He knows I'm here if he needs me! Constantly hugs and tells me he loves me!

Any suggestions??

[Northwind_Dagas]

"when we begin to talk about this he tells me not to complain shes his daughter and I basically have no right to comment on how he raises his child!!"

Doesn't sound like he is seeing you as an equal in the relationship. Have you discussed marriage? Is it even on his radar? Because that kind of statement would point otherwise.

[Knowledgefinder]

In my opinion, you have the right to give your input on this particular situation as it affects you too. If this were a situation simply between father and daughter, I would say that you need to back off, but this is not the case, This matter involves you too.

It seems like your man is struggling with this issue because he may simply not know what to do. After all, this is his baby. Aside from the fact that the situation takes away from your privacy as a couple, it's also bad for the little one. Unfortunately, she will get used to this pattern, and want things this way all the time.

I know this from personal experience because this happened with my brother as a young child and it took my parents a bit of time to break him of this because they didn't learn to say no.

The six year old has her own bed in which she needs to use and put to good use. If she really needs cuddling before going to bed, it should be done in her room, not in the "grown ups" bedroom.

It is bad that she is being rewarded for invading in on the adults privacy, sleeping or otherwise.

Bedtime is bedtime and she has to get used to sleeping on her own. Dad has got to say no to sleeping with the two of you. He doesn't have to say no to giving her cuddles if she needs them but it needs to be done in the proper place.

She's still not too old for bedtime stories, Dad might want to try this approach.

Also, I want to suggest to you to please not give up on this issue and just wash your hands of the relationship because of the circumstances. Leaving will change nothing. Dad will still baby his daughter, as well, you and he will both be broken hearted.

I would suggest as another option, family therapy. It's not a bad option and would be good to discuss with a therapist since you each come from a previous family home. Therapy can sometimes help with new changes and it's not at all something to frown at or doesn't mean that there are serious problems within the new home, it's just generally helpful because of new changes.

[s_cianci]

Whoa! Slow down there! OK, obviously the two of you have different ideas on how to raise kids but that doesn't mean that he's all wrong and you're all right. If it's that big an issue to you then maybe you don't belong together but if it's only a matter of getting his 6 year-old daughter to sleep, is that really worth breaking up over? In all likelihood she will outgrow it soon. If she doesn't within the next several years then there could be a problem that may need to be addressed. But as of right now I honestly think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Lighten up!