[tanyarbhutani]

Hi,

I have a two year old baby boy who has become very stuborn and cranky from last few weeks. If he wants something and we do not do it he sleeps on the floor and screams and shouts like hell. If we take him in our arms he makes so much strength to get out of our arms. He is really uncontrolable. He sometimes even bangs his head on floor. Please help me and provide a solution.
I get so irritated that sometime I have even slapped him which makes me more upset.
He behaves like this even in front of guests, at hotel and public places

[mum2five]

Welcome to the " TERRIBLE TWO'S " hun.

The peak age for tantrums is about two to three, but they can happen earlier trust me. Many children continue to have the occasional tantrum until they're four or five, or even older, but by this age it's easier to reason with your child and talk things through.

These outbursts are often called temper tantrums, because of the obvious link with angry feelings that are out of control, but there are other strong emotions your child could be feeling as well.

What Triggers Tantrum triggers
Frustration - at not being capable of doing something yet (such as tying her shoelaces) or not being able to make others understand what she wants they become frustrated and throwing a tantrum is the only way they know to voice this.

The desire for independence - simple things such as strapping your child into her car seat can seem like a deliberate move to thwart her independence and by heck do they resist.

Hunger and/or tiredness - your toddler is more likely to behave badly when she's in this state.

Being refused something - you may have said no to an ice cream, for example, or another child may not want to share a swing or toy - they do not like that word and it is one of the first words babies learn to understand.

Wanting attention - small children love to be the centre of attention, even for negative reasons, so if you've given a lot of attention to previous tantrums, your toddler may try the same again.

Boiling over - there are days when your child may be emotionally overloaded by her angry feelings and a tantrum seems inevitable as a result.

Avoiding tantrums
With some forward thinking it's possible to cut down tantrums or make then less overwhelming.

Set a good example - if they see you flying into a rage at the slightest provocation, it will be much harder for them to learn to control their own strong feelings.
Give plenty of praise - encourage good behavior by praising it.
Look for signs - most children give plenty of warning they're getting cross, so be ready to step in and divert their attention elsewhere
Offer control and choices - it's irritating for children to feel they don't have a say or can't make decisions, so provide choices whenever possible.


Dealing with tantrums
If the above don't work and a tantrum kicks off, there are ways you can soothe your child.

Keep calm - it really makes a difference hard as it is do try.
Divert her attention - it's sometimes possible to distract a toddler before the tantrum really gets started perhaps with behavior book or toy.
Ignore the behavior - sometimes, walking away and pretending to take no notice of a tantrum can cool things down (but this is unlikely to work once a tantrum's in full flow).
Hold your child close and talk quietly and calmly to her - occasionally, this can make matters worse you will learn what does and what does not work.
Time out - if you feel you're about to lose your temper too, put your child somewhere safe where you can leave her, although this tactic should only be with children over 18 months old and not for longer than two minutes it can help to defuse the situation and stops the reaction of slapping !


Once a tantrum blows over, don't go on about it. Cuddle and make up - over and done with - wait for the next one.

Supermarket tantrums
The worst and most embarrassing tantrums are those that take place in public, often the supermarket. If you know your child doesn't enjoy shopping, try to arrange these outings without your child in tow. If this is unavoidable, try to make it easier on you both by thinking about the following:

Keep trips as short as possible - be organised about exactly what you need to buy and stick to it.
Use distraction - take a toy for your child to play with or a book for her to browse. It can also help to have a drink and snack handy.
Let your child help - ask your child to get cereal, teabags, bin liners and other (light, non-breakable) items within her reach. Let her put the items in the trolley or on the checkout, too , mine love this task even when I find items I did not want there.
If a tantrum does threaten, remain calm - talk quietly to your child, explaining that the behavior isn't acceptable. You may find you have to leave the shop and go back later, even if this means you leaving your shopping behind. You won't be the first parent to have to do this!
Hope this helps x

[mum2five]

An after thought

Have you ever seen the advert on TV can not think what it is advertising but the child is in a shopping trolley screaming so the mum dives on the floor and throws herself about screaming - the child soon becomes very quiet in pure amazement -
I would love to do that !

[danielnoahsmommy]

I have done this at home it is quite effective. He never threw a tantrum again!
YEAH Right! No he will continue to test you. That is how he finds out what your limits are! It is normal.

[spiritcharms]

Excellent aadvice as I've already rated. I know exactly which TV advertisement your talking about! LOL cracks me up too! ;)

Woo hoo that means at last I've found someone from the UK? :)

[N0help4u]

I haven't gone to the extent of throwing myself on the floor but I have started crying just like the baby at times. They stop some for a cry or two but then they lose the amazed 'I am the baby, I am suppose to be the one doing that' look and just resume their typical behavior.

You can't give in to his behavior by giving him what he wants or it just reinforces that if he throws a fit it gets him what he wants.

If he gets NO reaction and you just let him throw his fit to the end a couple times it might show him he is wasting his time and breath.

[jillrenee15]

This was all wonderful advice. I have an almost 3yo boy, and he throws his share of tantrums. I usually ignore him. Even if he's screaming in my ear in the grocery store. When we're at home, I'll cry louder than him. It does give him pause. Sometimes he even knows he's cranky and naughty and tells ME he needs a time out, or tells me it's time for a nap. It's too funny.

[jenniepepsi]

Not much I can add to what has already been said other than, yes, welcome to the terrible 2s. It only gets worse from here on out.

And remember to be Consistent! Always always the same rules and routines each day. When my husband and I first married, and my husband became my 3 year olds step father, he didn't have a CLUE. One day, it was perfectly all right to stand on the couch or jump ont eh bed, the next day 'DONT DO THAT! That's BAD"

Totally mixed signals, nothing was learned, and it was only made worse.


So consistiancy :) definitely. If I even spelled that correctly.