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Pink_Flowers · Jul 6, 2009, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

i think he likes the idea, he was turned on wasn't he? This reminds me of the guy who was doing himself in the shower, and his prude wife walks in and screams " what are you doing?" he said " it's my penis and i can clean it as fast as i want !"

you two may have opened the door on some good, new, stuff, enjoy.

Lol

Pink_Flowers · Jul 6, 2009, 09:00 PM

Well. We actually have a very open relationship. He is more shy about sex than I am. He was raised in a very sheltered family. Sex isn't spoken about, I guess.
The reason I felt to hide it from him was because I didn't want to make him feel like he is not enough. I basically don't want to hurt his feelings. I also don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense? Since he is so uncomfortable talking to me about sex, I didn't want to put him on the spot.
Well. Live and learn. I asked him earlier about the whole situation. Asked him if he got offended. He said that he doesn't exactly feel too good about it but only because I hid it. :( I guess he is more willing to open up than I thought. Who knows? Maybe I'm the one who is embarrassed?

Thanks for your tips and funny remarks :)

friend4u178 · Jul 6, 2009, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Pink_Flowers

I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense?

95% 0f men admit to masturbating , the other 5% are lying ;)

Gemini54 · Jul 7, 2009, 12:17 AM

Originally Posted by Pink_Flowers

Well. We actually have a very open relationship. He is more shy about sex than I am. He was raised in a very sheltered family. Sex isn't spoken about, I guess.
The reason I felt to hide it from him was because I didn't want to make him feel like he is not enough. I basically don't want to hurt his feelings. I also don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I have asked him if he does his thang in private but he denies it. I think it's funny because I am sure he does. He is too prude, I think. Does this make sense? Since he is so uncomfortable talking to me about sex, I didn't want to put him on the spot.
Well. Live and learn. I asked him earlier about the whole situation. Asked him if he got offended. He said that he doesn't exactly feel too good about it but only because I hid it. :( I guess he is more willing to open up than I thought. Who knows? Maybe I'm the one who is embarassed?

Thanks for your tips and funny remarks :)

I can understand that you were being sensitive to his feelings.

So, in a way it's great that the vibrator has brought things out into the open - so to speak. The thing is, it's really easy for us posters to say - talk about it - but some people find this awkward and are prudish or shyer than others about these things.

What I've found about talking, is that once you get it out into the open it's always much easier!

Good luck - and have fun exploring the vibrator and other sex toys together. It's probably the start of something new and interesting between you.

mike hawk · Jul 7, 2009, 12:58 AM

Maybe he feels like he has to try to step up his game. He might be afraid that you don't think the sex is good enough

jmjoseph · Jul 7, 2009, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

95% 0f men admit to masturbating , the other 5% are lieing ;)

They aren't lying, they thought they were talking about fishing.

Ren6 · Jul 7, 2009, 05:55 AM

The guy is definitely feeling insecure. After all, his response upon finding the vibrator was to hide it so that his wife couldn't use it (although she knows where it is, lol). I suggest the two of you see a counselor who specializes in sexual issues, so the two of you can figure out how to get your husband a bit more at ease with sex. I hope things improve...

jmjoseph · Jul 7, 2009, 06:08 AM

My wife's friends gave her a sex toy party before we got married. She asked me if I minded. I said no, not at all, as long as she doesn't get anything that's huge. After THAT, I didn't want to feel like I was shooting BBs at a moose.

makapuu · Jul 9, 2009, 02:29 PM

My boyfriend knew I had a vibrator when we first discussed our previous sex lives. I never needed to use it in our relationship, but then he said it turned him on. I only use it when he's a part of the action.

artlady · Jul 9, 2009, 03:00 PM

Men generally get turned on by watching a woman masturbate.He may want to see how you get off with the vibrator and you never know,he may learn something from it :)

ISneezeFunny · Jul 9, 2009, 03:06 PM

I'm perfectly OK with whoever I'm in bed with having a vibrator, handcuffs, blindfolds, etc. Now, tasers... I'm not a huge fan of... but anything else, I'm OK with. Sometimes, a little help isn't all that bad.

Catsmine · Jul 9, 2009, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

Now, tasers...I'm not a huge fan of...but anything else, I'm ok with.

That includes cattle prods, right?

ISneezeFunny · Jul 9, 2009, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by Catsmine

That includes cattle prods, right?

Things that are NOT OK include:

Cattle prods
Tasers
Mace/pepper spray
Lighters
Any sharp objects
Battery acid

So on and so forth.

But in all seriousness, I feel that having a vibrator is really no problem... many couples have sex toys in the bedroom and utilize it together for both their enjoyment. Communicate with your husband about this.

mosag330 · Jul 9, 2009, 08:01 PM

I say: get a tiny one that is a lot smaller than he is. Or get one that's not phallic-shaped at all (finger vibe, bullet, rubber duckie vibe). Go shopping for vibrators together. Get other toys together. Ask him to use it on you. Use it on him. Ask for his permission the next time you want to use it. Use it when you are talking to him on the phone. Use it while he watches. Tell him the whole time how much better he feels in you/touching you/tell him you're imagining he's the one touching you.

Or... stalk around his things, find his Fleshlight, and ask him to show you how that works ;-) lol

My boyfriend found my vibrator one day... I still can't tell if he was more amused or turned on...

bugmenot · Jul 26, 2009, 01:19 PM

Why were you hiding this to begin with? He probably wonders why you didn't take him along when you bought it. Probably would have been fun.

I think the best thing is to talk more about what you like and fantasies.

Rich11111 · Jul 26, 2009, 04:43 PM

I've got to agree with most of the people here, I wouldn't have a problem with my girl having a vibrator, I wouldn't take it as an insult to my capabilities but instead another way to give her pleasure. But I would worry if she hid it. It would make me ask why she was hiding it. Wonder if I wasn't good enough and she just didn't want to tell me.

As for him wanting sex afterward, I think it's more a case that you hiding your vibrator made him lose confidence in his abilities (Which was what you tried to prevent by hiding it in the first place) and he was trying to prove himself, to show that you didn't need it.

You have to be more open, it was through trying to avoid making things a awkward by lying, that you ended up making things awkward.

smoothy · Jul 28, 2009, 07:29 AM

Now if that vibrator was almost as big as a prostetic leg... then maybe it would start to affect my ego.