[ashleighcooper1]

This is awkward.
I lost my virginity to my best friends boyfriend two nights ago, when a drunken game of spin the bottle got out of hand.

She said to me beforehand that anything that happened that night, was okay, so long as we could forget about it.

Me and her boyfriend ended up having sex, while she was downstairs, and she knew about it the day after, by reading my texts. She is fine with me now, and wants to forget it all. But I want him again! He's been texting me, telling me how much it meant to him and that he wants to do it again, but he knows its wrong.

I can't help but want him. But I feel sooooo bad!
Should I, or shouldn't I?
Xx

[danielnoahsmommy]

The pain is from entry the further up you go won't hurt... I won't lie to you you still may be sore at the entry... you may be sore several times more, but it will get better.

[Gemini54]

It will hurt again if you're tense and afraid.

Try and relax and enjoy what you're doing. Make sure there is lots of foreplay and get really wet. Then use some water based lube as well.

Wait a couple of days before you have sex again, as sometimes the torn hymen takes a while to heal.

If he goes in slowly and slides in on the lube, it will feel much better.

I can assure you, it gets MUCH better. First sexual experiences can often be awkward and uncomfortable until you learn to relax.

[kctiger]

Either you are very young or very VERY stupid... or both. Tell me you aren't serious.

[ashleighcooper1]

Either you are very young or very VERY stupid...or both. Tell me you aren't serious.

I'm 17. And probably VERY VERY VERYYYY stupid. Fact is, I just can't help myself. I've admitted its wrong, but I just can't seem to control myself.

HELPP!

[JBeaucaire]

You will not come here and get permission to act like a tramp. You know that, don't you? Probably that's why you came here, for some head-thrashing, perhaps? Ok, fine, I can do that.

[Lecture mode: ON]

You're at the point in your life where you are developing (or not) some serious character traits. It's what you do when you're faced with a temptation you know is wrong that goes a long way to determining what kind of person you are going to be.

"I can't help myself" is a copout. It's a lie. Of course you can. Translation: "I want it so I'm going to take it"

Yes, you can help yourself. You have a mind and a heart and a spirit. When any ONE of those is opting for wrong, the other two CAN and should override.

Your heart is not to be in charge of you. You know you should not do this, you know you should not act this way. So don't. Pretend you have backbone, and you will magically grow one. I promise.

It's OK to be attracted to someone. It's OK that you're attracted to someone who's unavailable. It's perfectly natural. Attraction is instinctive and has NOTHING to do with right and wrong and nothing to do with character.

So YOU have to step in and be the master of your own destiny. You are not a cricket in the field and only subject to instinct. You're an intelligent and thinking person who can see what is and is not real, and act accordingly.

So, when attracted inappropriately to someone, enjoy the feeling and ignore it.

[Lecture mode: OFF]

Side comment: Your friend who "forgave" you so quickly also doesn't sound like the kind of friend who is going to be helpful to you. Doing evil things should cost something, and to just get "forgiven" like that will actually lead you down the wrong path. She's encouraging your bad behaviors.

I'd reconsider this friend... AND her boyfriend, who's already shown his colors.

[ZoeMarie]

This is a no-brainer. You shouldn't.

[snow124]

She probably said she forgave you simply because she's desperate and doesn't want to lose her boyfriend. She WON'T be forgetting it, but you need to forget him and move on.

[Romefalls19]

Okay, I'm confused. How the hell did a spin the bottle game get out of hand? When I would play that game(when I was like 10 until 12) it was just kissing. Second, are you sure she has forgiven you? I mean come on, you boinked her boyfriend. Third, she is your "bestfriend" how could you even think about doing it again. Don't even respond to his texts


On a side note, I am getting dead bolts for my daughters doors right now.

[kctiger]

True that Rome... spin the bottle must be a whole different ball game now. I didn't even realize people played that game past the age of 12 or 13.

[HistorianChick]

You cheated with a boy in a relationship and still want him. That's the first wrong.

You cheated with your friend's boyfriend. That's the second wrong.

You slept with your best friend's boyfriend. That's the third wrong.

You're not sorry you did it, nor do you expect any consequences. That's another wrong.

You still want him. That's the big wrong.

At 17, you're old enough to know better. It doesn't matter if you were drunk, high, or out of your mind, you should have known better. You are almost an adult... what you do now will effect the rest of your life; but, more importantly, it will set a pattern.

Cheating with other women's boyfriends is NOT acceptable. Especially when she's your "best friend." I can guarantee that she hasn't forgiven you and is NOT OK with this.

So, in answer to your question, "should I, or shouldn't I?":

No, you should not ever be alone with this boy again.
No, you should not ever consider getting "with" him again.
No, you shouldn't ever sleep with someone else's boyfriend.
Yes, you should learn to be a better friend.
Yes, you need to apologize to your "best friend" and accept the consequences... because there will be consequences.
Yes, you should seriously start evaluating what you're going to be when you grow up - a faithful friend or a tramp who sleeps with other girl's men.

[Romefalls19]

Thanks for putting these two together, funny how things change once you get the whole story.

[talaniman]

Sorry dear, you were set up, and used by your friend, and the whole idea was to get her boyfriend some virgin yum yum!

I also think you knew this, and went along with the program, and now want to play dumb about it to get over the guilt.

You did wrong, and are around the wrong people to begin with, so no excuses for bad behavior, and either learn, and do better, or keep down this path, and screw your whole youth up!!

[ashleighcooper1]

True that Rome...spin the bottle must be a whole different ball game now. I didn't even realize people played that game past the age of 12 or 13.

Its actually a shot game by the way.
You can re-invent things?
A drinking game.
Who knows what can happen. I'm not THAT immature really.

[Romefalls19]

I have taken place in a lot of drinking games. Quarters, flip cup, strip flip cup, aces, 21, slam can, beer pong, beer bong, all sorts of those games. Never once did I sleep with someone without wanting to or knowing what I was doing.

[ashleighcooper1]

You cheated with a boy in a relationship and still want him. That's the first wrong.

You cheated with your friend's boyfriend. That's the second wrong.

You slept with your best friend's boyfriend. That's the third wrong.

You're not sorry you did it, nor do you expect any consequences. That's another wrong.

You still want him. That's the big wrong.

Yes I did cheat with a boy in a relationship, but his girlfriend knew about it, and chose not to stop it, or indeed finish with him, or disown me.

I am sorry that I did it, for her sake. But it felt amazing for me, you know what girls emotions are like.

I shouldn't want him- I know that, but I do. Stuff happens.

I've admitted that I am wrong- but there ARE no consequences in this matter. She said to me, "can we just forget it all, it got out of hand".. Probably another reason that makes me want him more, because his girlfriend doesn't seem to do anything about it.

[Romefalls19]

THEN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

You are defining what people will think of you for the rest of your high school years and probably more right now. Do you really want to be known like this?

[ashleighcooper1]

Never once did I sleep with someone without wanting to or knowing what I was doing.

Everyone is different.
And I must have known what I was doing.
In a way, I was given the "okay" to do it, even though I knew myself that it was wrong.
Whether she meant it or not, she still said it.
Making me think, "what the hell then!"- under the influence of A LOTTTT.

[natalie1xxx]

I would say that your bestfriends boyfriend is being even more stupid than you , if he actually did want you that bad he would dump your friend don't you think ?but you aren't at all innocent , it takes two to tango remember. However I do see where you are coming from , if it's something like 'love at first sight' . Personally I would wait and see how your friend and her boyfriends relationship progresses which probably won't go very far if he has cheated on her and wants to do it again, I say your friend should dump him and you should have nothing to do with him either as you know how he is now.

[kctiger]

Yes i did cheat with a boy in a relationship, but his girlfriend knew about it, and chose not to stop it, or indeed finish with him, or disown me.

I am sorry that I did it, for her sake. But it felt amazing for me, you know what girls emotions are like.

I shouldn't want him- I know that, but I do. Stuff happens.

I've admitted that I am wrong- but there ARE no consequences in this matter. She said to me, "can we just forget it all, it got out of hand".. Probably another reason that makes me want him more, because his girlfriend doesnt seem to do anything about it.

I can see pregnancy in your future... call Jerry Springer and book a future spot on his show, for you, your friend and the dude in this situation!