[MoonandStars16]

I have a new boyfriend I met about 6 months ago. I really really like him, and we have semi-seriously discussed having children, getting married, etc.

Tonight he told me he went to a transexual prostitute about 15 months ago. He told me this over the phone as right now he is overseas and has been for about 6 weeks. I have lived a VERY sheltered life sexually. This is so hard for me to even comprehend. What would make a man want to sleep with a transexual prostitute?? And if he wants that, why would he want me?

I am really freaking out. I have slept with this man 3 times since we started dating. I am terrified, what about disease? What do I say to this person who I was one minute totally infatuated with and he is all I could think about day and night, to knowing this about him? How do you overcome that or deal with it? What questions do I ask him? This is all just so sudden and out of the blue, and you never think it could happen to you.

I am desperate for any advice or insight into what I should do next.

[dawn50620]

Why don't you ask him, what was his reasoning for going to a transexual? Is this a fetish? Would it ever happen again? Was it a one time thing? Did he like it? That way you can kind of feel him out on his answers and go from there. Sorry and Good luck.

[talaniman]

Ask him if he used protection. Get tested any way,

[dawn50620]

I agree with tala too...

[Jake2008]

Moon and Stars, if you are uncomfortable with him seeing a prositute, or a transexual prostitute, and the fact that he told you six months after dating you, which was 9 months after he did the deed, then thank your lucky stars this isn't 10 years and two kids down the road.

The point is your future with a man who was not who you thought he was. If I were engaged to my husband, and he cheated on me, prostitute or not, I would not have married him. You have even less than that invested in this relationship.

I think he may lean towards that sort of sexual behaviour, otherwise, if it were a one shot deal, he would not have brought it up so long after the fact, so far in fact, it happened before was he even began dating you!

I would say that if it were a 'mistake', he would not have brought it up at all.

You do not need to act upon anything other than your own instinct, and comfort level. If you want to go down this road with him, by all means do so, but with your eyes wide open, and not before you get yourself checked out for STD's.

[smoothy]

#1 calm down a little.


Ask him if he used protection, most likely he did.

I'm going to take a shot here in that most of the higher level professionals insist on protection to protect themselves, for self preservation reasons... streetwalkers are NOT the same, or the same class of people.

I'm also going to comment that he would have likely been at a bigger risk sleeping with a regualar person that was promiscuous as they are less likely to take the precautions, and NORE likely to spread a STD. Now as to the answer of what might have made him do that? Maybe it was just curiousity. Don't view it as a if he wanted that then why does he want you comparison... its two totally different things.

Should he have just kept it to himself? Most definitely... but he apparent feels a trust in you that he confided this incident.

[talaniman]

He may also be gaging your reaction, there may be more news coming. Not to scare you, but you have much more to learn about this stranger, than you already know. 6 months of dating yield very few facts, but you are getting a better picture of this guy.

Deal with the facts, not the fears.