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Black_rainbow5 · Jun 13, 2009, 02:37 PM

Hey umm I was raped by my cousin when I was still a child, I can't really recall my age but he was 14 at the time. I am now 13 years old and he is 21-22 years old. This has been bothering me for some time now and I have told my therapist about it but I have told her some lies.

I told her that he was 8 when he raped me and that he doesn't live close to me (I live in an apartment and he lives on the floor on top of me) But I have recently told her he has a job (indicating he is older then I implied him to be) and that he comes DOWNSTAIRS to visit me from time to time.

I said I don't know his age (which I do) and that he barely moved (which he hasn't) so she wants me to tell her... well basically everything. But I am scared because one of my other cousins told her therapist that she was raped by her dad and now he might go to jail and a case is being opened. I don't want my cousin (who raped me) to go to jail, I forgive him and respect him but it just hurts me to keep the truth in.

What do I do?

justcurious55 · Jun 13, 2009, 02:46 PM

I think you should come clean with her and tell her everything. What your cousin did to you was wrong. You have to live with it. Why should he get away with it? Why shouldn't he have to live with consequences? And let me give you another way of looking at this. What if he does it again? If he raped you, his own cousin, what would stop him from raping another young woman? If he gets away with raping you, why not rape another? This is a subject I feel very strongly on, and I know some might disagree, but I believe any man that rapes a woman deserves to rot in jail.

Black_rainbow5 · Jun 13, 2009, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by justcurious55

i think you should come clean with her and tell her everything. what your cousin did to you was wrong. you have to live with it. why should he get away with it? why shouldn't he have to live with consequences? and let me give you another way of looking at this. what if he does it again? if he raped you, his own cousin, what would stop him from raping another young woman? if he gets away with raping you, why not rape another? this is a subject i feel very strongly on, and i know some might disagree, but i believe any man that rapes a woman deserves to rot in jail.

I forgot to mention That he is Mentally Retarded and I guess he didn't know what he was doing but gawsh I feell so bad

justcurious55 · Jun 13, 2009, 03:06 PM

If he didn't know what he was doing then how can you know that he would know now? You're only thirteen now. You were what, about 7 when this happened? If he doesn't know better now, who is to say that he won't hurt another little girl? I understand that this is difficult for you but I still believe that you should speak up. Even more so now actually.

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2009, 03:10 PM

Tell your therapist everything. The therapist is required not to take any action without your say-so or knowledge (confidentiality). This cousin could very well rape (or already have raped) someone else, related or not, so he at least needs more supervision, if nothing else. No, he probably didn't understand what he did to you except give himself pleasure, and, if he liked what he did, he may not understand that he cannot do it again to someone else. He needs to be overseen better and perhaps live in a more secure situation. If he rapes another girl, he could end up getting killed or badly hurt by her family or boyfriend.

Tell the therapist everything for your cousin's sake if not your own.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 13, 2009, 03:19 PM

First your therapist can not report it, they have to keep it private. So if the persons dad was arrested it was either
1. it was still going on when reported and was done to protect her
2. as part of the therapy she decided to tell the police.

*** either start telling the therapist everything and the truth or just stop going.

But it sounds like the SOL is over even if the police was told.

But it is still an issue, you can't tell the truth about it, and have to face this person all the time.

doesntwantit26 · Jun 18, 2009, 05:58 AM

I also was in a similar situation, I was molested by a close family member who my family considered to be a cousin, I was like 7 and he was about 16. For a long time I blocked it out and pretended it wasn't an issue that bothered me. I turned to drugs and alcohol it wasn't until I became honest with myself and got it out and fully told someone the truth, who happened to be my therapist also, that I felt better about myself. You need to really talk to your therapist if she says anything to anyone about that she's breaking confidentiality policies and you should definitely find a different therapist. They are not supposed to report anything unless they feel you are going to hurt yourself or someone else. She is not supposed to be talking to anyone about your treatment and what you say unless she has signed releases by you to talk to specific people. You should ask for a copy of the facilities confidentiality policies next time you go.