So there is this boy.

number9forlife1 · Jun 10, 2009, 06:54 PM

OK there is this guy I like A lot and we go to the same school, same class, same friends. And our school is out for summer, and we started IMing everyday, every time we're on at the same time. He didn't know I had feelings for him until I got tired of hiding it and I told him I was getting off IM but I had something to tell him... so I told him and I got off as soon as I hit that sent button. I waited about 5 minutes, just to make sure there wasn't going to be a weird vibe between us on IM and as soon as I logged in he sent me a message acting like nothing ever happened. Now its been about 2 days, and he bugs me now, and makes fun of me and just jokes around with me... he asked me about my favorite things, and I feel like our friendship is growing stronger because of this... but my question is... do I keep it like this or do I talk to him about it? I like him a lot and he's a great guy but I just don't want to ruin our friendship if I do try to make us more than friends... help!

crazychick56 · Jun 13, 2009, 12:00 AM

Well if he did tease you about it and kind of made fun of you do you think that's what you really would want? No, you wouldn't. So kind of stick around with the way things are and see where that goes... I really wouldn't advance that to the next level yet... but in the end the decision is kind of yours... observe his behavior... do you think someone else could be better for you or treat you better? Do you really honestly like him, or is it just some teenage ameatur thing... would you guys even last together? And do you think if you don't you would be dissapointed to be stuck back right to where you started? These are all imporant questions you must ask yourself...

number9forlife1 · Jun 14, 2009, 07:40 AM

Yeah I guess you're right. I don't really know how it would go between us, and I don't know if its just some teenager thing... but thanks, your answer just really helped me!:)

crazychick56 · Jun 14, 2009, 12:31 PM

No problem... I too have been in situations like these and before you really go and do something you might regret in the future... just slow down and think to yourself first and ask yourself some very important questions I just asked you and then answer it... if your gut feeling tells you otherwise after answering those important questions.. then you would be doing the right thing to listen to it... and thank you:) I hope it helped you... that's what I meant to do lol

mudweiser · Jun 14, 2009, 12:53 PM

Guys are funny people. From the way I see it, him teasing you really means he likes you. It's true. Most guys on the forum would agree.

Why not try telling him you like him in person? It's a lot better than doing it on the computer because you get to see his reaction. Tell him that you "like" him not "love" him- love is way to strong of a word. Keep it simple:

"Tom, I like you more than just a friend and I want to know if the feeling is mutual."

OR

"Tom, I like you, but I don't want it to ruin our friendship if the feeling isn't mutual"

Something like that.

Why keep it a secret and be left thinking "what if..".

That's just my opinion,
Sarah

crazychick56 · Jun 14, 2009, 01:05 PM

Different people have different opinions and that is totally OK and in some ways I do agree with mudweiser but also... at this young of an age... does a relationship really matter? In the end you will just be stuck back to where you are right here single and confused... I don't think relationships are the smartest idea for younger teenagers like ourselves... like my favorite person on this site has stated (Altenweg), it is likely you two could be meant for each other but statistics don't count on it and don't promise it and some relationships aren't even worth getting into if it turns into a mistake in the end. Im not saying oh you should never date a guy this early an age I mean heck we all do regardless what the adults and anybody else says but adults(and even though we hate to admit it... they are right. They've been there done that)its higly advised not to. But if you do... just make sure(ask those questions again) because we are too young to know what a heartbreak is and we sure as heck don't want to experience it this early of an age.

mudweiser · Jun 14, 2009, 01:25 PM

I think relationships help you in later life. Besides, it's really up to the OP whether she wants to pursue a relationship or not.

Sarah

crazychick56 · Jun 14, 2009, 01:32 PM

Yes of course they make you stronger and I'm not saying they are a totally horrible thing... but if I have listened to any of what many of the adults on this sight have told me... its to wait just a tad bit longer... but nobody can make anybody do anything so really they don't have to listen to anybody... adults... or anything... its just a choice... but just for a little while longer... if you MUST feel the need to see if he likes you back so you two can date... I would just wait a teency weency bit longer and just keep it where it is FOR NOW and then see where it goes on its own from there

number9forlife1 · Jun 14, 2009, 05:39 PM

Yeah, that you both again, you both are really making me open my eyes and see some of the things you are pointing out, like what if I doesn't work out and things like that, and I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship by dating and breaking up then just having a weird thing between us, because I see it happen to my friends and there boyfriends or girlfriends, and I wouldn't want that to happen to me. But the thing with telling him in person is, when I do see him, he's with all of his friends and I don't want to pull him aside and have him telling his friends, because I kind of want this on the downlow because if he doesn't like me, I don't want a lot of people knowing, so as of now he's the only one that knows I like him! But is there anyway or anything I can do to see if he likes me? Besides asking him?

mudweiser · Jun 14, 2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by number9forlife1

But is there anyway or anything i can do to see if he likes me? besides asking him?

No there really isn't. Unless you do the little kid thing and get on of your friends to ask his friends to ask him.

Really number9, it's up to you. If you like him and want him, you'll go for it. If you want to but feel it's not the "right time" then wait a little longer.

Sarah

number9forlife1 · Jun 14, 2009, 05:45 PM

Lol I would never have a friend ask someone I like... I think that makes you look stupid, lol. But now I'm just getting confused, because I really really like him and I want to go for it... but then again I really want to tell him but I don't think it's the right time...

mudweiser · Jun 14, 2009, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by number9forlife1

lol i would never have a friend ask someone i like....i think that makes you look stupid, lol. but now im just getting confused, because i really really like him and i want to go for it...but then again i really want to tell him but i dont think its the right time...

I'm sure there will be a time where you find yourself alone with him, when this happens take the opportunity to do so. For now, enjoy your friendship with him.

Sarah

number9forlife1 · Jun 14, 2009, 06:57 PM

OK thanks

crazychick56 · Jun 15, 2009, 12:46 PM

Again... I agree with most of what mudweiser says because no I'm afraid in most cases there IS NO other way unless you play mail person or telephone and then eventually it will turn into he says she says crap...

So if you do like him I guess you can for better judgment or not date him despite what other people tell you because as mudweiser said it is your choice and your head would spin if you knew how many people will tell you that in your whole entire life with situations much like this one... so really... really think about this and answer it... not only to yourself but to anybody asking you... what do you feel you would really feel most comfortable with doing? If you are too scared it will ruin your friendship (and it's a 50/50 percent chance likely there my friend) then I would say no but that's just my opinion... yours is what matters... I'm glad some of the things we have said have open up your eyes some... but now its time to open them up fully and that last choice is yours... not ours,. so think about it... and let us know:)

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